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風が吹けば人類が終わる
ある日、強い風が吹いた
砂を巻き上げる春の嵐
2人の男がこの風の中
何かを思いついた
これはある2つの組織の戦いの物語である!
極悪科学者集団のボス
他人の犬を逃がすほど性根の腐った悪津くん
その豊富な知識と柔軟な発想力で
お誕生日を台無しにする装置を発明!
炭火焼じゃ満足いかず
ビル火焼きや寺火焼きにも挑む森さん
お誕生日を台無しにする装置を利用し
心とかがガサつく焼き鳥を発明!
タイムスリップしてからというもの
「男?(笑)」と聞かれがちな小野妹子
心とかがガサつく焼き鳥を利用し
チャックを観音開きさせる羊を発明!
羊・ヤギ・ラクダ
笑顔で走るガキの毛狩りが生きがい 利根さん
チャックを観音開きさせる羊を利用し
不快な音に変換して伝える糸を発明!
バンドをやりたかったのに
"ドレミファソラシド"の順を覚えられなかった加賀くん
不快な音に変換して伝える糸を利用し
クチャクチャ食べてるみたいな音のギターを発明!
部下達が積み重ねた研究を見つめほくそ笑む悪津くん
クチャクチャ食べてるみたいな音のギターを利用し
知能が5歳のオウム並になる曲を発明!
信じられますか?たった1つの風が
世界を滅ぼすだなんてことを
悪津くんの組織は全ての人類に
この曲を聴かせる作戦を立てた!
時を同じくして、同じ風の下で…
正義の科学者集団のボス
顔の数で仏を凌ぐ優しさ 正木くん
その豊富な知識と柔軟な発想力で
お誕生日をお手伝いする装置を発明!
安全で美味しい鶏肉に
生涯と旦那の尊厳を捧げる庄治さん
お誕生日をお手伝いする装置を利用し
人の痛みが理解できる焼き鳥を発明!
ヨーグルトでカルボナーラを作り
コクのある後悔を味わう矢部くん
人の痛みが理解できる焼き鳥を利用し
乳が(胃カメラより)美味しい羊を発明!
オシャレと動物を愛して
毛先とアリゲーターを遊ばせる畑さん
乳が(胃カメラより)美味しい羊を利用し
麗しく芳香で体温で溶ける糸を発明!
学生時代妙にモテた
"ちょっと悪い男"を未だに許せない馬場くん
麗しく芳香で体温で溶ける糸を利用し
シロアリも慈しむほど心が澄むギターを発明!
部下たちが積み重ねた研究を見つめ微笑んだ正木くん
シロアリも慈しむほど心が澄むギターを利用し
清く正しく優しくなれる曲を発明!
信じられますか?たった1つの風が
世界を救うだなんてことを
改心した悪津くんと全ての人類に
この曲を聴かせる作戦を立てた!
…正木くんの勝利で
人類は危機を脱したと思われたが…。
戦いはまだ終わっていなかったのだ!
今では家族ぐるみのお付き合い
先週は一緒に海にも行った
だが悪津くんは聴いたフリをしてただけで
まだ性根はがっつり腐っていた
CDをこっそりすり替えて
作戦開始のカウントダウン
正木くんに告げる
「騙されたようだな!」
「知ってたよ、そんなこと」
「資金集めのため正義のフリをしてただけだ!
誰も気づいちゃいないがうちの組織は
ろくなものを作ってない!
利用させてもらったぞ
世界を滅ぼすのは俺じゃボケが!」
破滅のメロディーが流れる
風が吹いただけなのに
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Kaze ga Fukeba Jinrui ga Owaru
Aru hi, tsuyoi kaze ga fuita
Suna o makiageru haru no arashi
Futari no otoko ga kono kaze no naka
Nanika o omoitsuita
Kore wa aru futatsu no soshiki no tatakai no monogatari de aru!
Gokuaku kagakusha shuudan no bosu
Hito no inu o nigasu hodo shoune no kusutta Akuzu-kun
Sono houfu na chishiki to juunan na hassouryoku de
O-tanjoubi o dainashi ni suru souchi o hatsumei!
Sumi-hiyaki ja manzoku izaku
Biru-hiyaki ya tera-hiyaki ni mo idomu Mori-san
O-tanjoubi o dainashi ni suru souchi o riyoushi
Kokoro toka ga gasatsuku yakitori o hatsumei!
Taimu surippu shite kara toiu mono
"Otoko?" to kikaregachi na Ono no Imouto
Kokoro toka ga gasatsuku yakitori o riyoushi
Chakku o kannonbirakisaseru hitsuji o hatsumei!
Hitsuji yagi rakuda
Egao de hashiru gaki no tekari ga ikigai Tone-san
Chakku o kannonbirakisaseru hitsuji o riyoushi
Fukai na oto ni henkan shite tsutaeru ito o hatsumei!
Bando o yaritakatta no ni
"Do re mi fa so ra shi do" no jun o oboerarenakatta Kaga-kun
Fukai na oto ni henkan shite tsutaeru ito o riyoushi
Kuchakucha tabeteru mitai na oto no gitaa o hatsumei!
Buka-tachi ga tsumikasaneta kenkyuu o mitsume hokusoemu Akuzu-kun
Kuchakucha tabeteru mitai na oto no gitaa o riyoushi
Chinou ga go-sai no oumu nami ni naru kyoku o hatsumei!
Shinjiraremasu ka? Tatta hitotsu no kaze ga
Sekai o horobosu da nante koto o
Akuzu-kun no soshiki wa subete no jinrui ni
Kono kyoku o kikaseru sakusen o tateta!
Toki o onnajiku shite, onnaji kaze no shita de...
Seigi no kagakusha shuudan no bosu
Kao no kazu de hotoke o shinogu yasashisa Masaki-kun
Sono houfu na chishiki to juunan na hassouryoku de
O-tanjoubi o o-tetsudai suru souchi o hatsumei!
Anzen de utsukushii toriniku ni
Shougai to danna no songen o sasageru Shouji-san
O-tanjoubi o o-tetsudai suru souchi o riyoushi
Hito no itami ga rikai dekiru yakitori o hatsumei!
Yooguruto de karubonaara o tsukuri
Koku no aru koukai o ajiwau Yabe-kun
Hito no itami ga rikai dekiru yakitori o riyoushi
Chichi ga (ikamera yori) oishii hitsuji o hatsumei!
Oshare to doubutsu o aishite
Kesaki to arigeetaa o asobaseru Hata-san
Chichi ga (ikamera yori) oishii hitsuji o riyoushi
Uruwashiku houkou de taion de tokeru ito o hatsumei!
Gakuseijidai myou ni moteta
"Chotto warui otoko" o mada ni yurusenai Haba-kun
Uruwashiku houkou de taion de tokeru ito o riyoushi
Shiroari mo itsukushimu hodo kokoro ga sumu gitaa o hatsumei!
Buka-tachi ga tsumikasaneta kenkyuu o mitsume hohoenda Masaki-kun
Shiroari mo itsukushimu hodo kokoro ga sumu gitaa o riyoushi
Kiyoku tadashiku yasashiku nareru kyoku o hatsumei!
Shinjiraremasu ka? Tatta hitotsu no kaze ga
Sekai o sukuu da nante koto o
Kaishin shita Akuzu-kun to subete no jinrui ni
Kono kyoku o kikaseru sakusen o tateta!
...Masaki-kun no shouri de
Jinrui wa kiki o nugeshita to omowareta ga...
Tatakai wa mada owatteinakatta no da!
Ima dewa kazoku gurumi no o-tsukiai
Senshuu wa issho ni umi ni mo itta
Daga Akuzu-kun wa kiita furi o shiteta dake de
Mada shoune wa gattsuri kusatteita
CD o kossori surikaete
Sakusen kaishi no kauntodaun
Masaki-kun ni tsugeru
"Damasareta you da na!"
"Shitteta yo, sonna koto"
"Shikin atsume no tame seigi no furi o shiteta dake da!
Dare mo kidzuichainai ga uchi no soshiki wa
Roku na mono o tsukuttenai!
Riyou sasete moratta zo
Sekai o horobosu no wa ore ja boke ga!"
Hametsu no merodii ga nagareru
Kaze ga fuita dake nano ni
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When the Wind Blows, Mankind is Doomed
One day, a fierce wind blew,
A spring storm that sent sand flying
And two men, inspired by this wind,
Came up with an idea...
This is the story of a war between two organizations!
The boss of the Scientists of Villainy
Was Akuzu, so rotten he would let loose people's dogs
With his abundant knowledge and creativity,
He invented a machine to ruin birthday parties!
Unsatisfied with burning charcoal,
Mori dared to burn down towers and temples
She used the machine that ruined birthdays
And invented yakitori that soured hearts!
Ever since he found himself time-warped,
Ono no Imoto was laughed at, asked "Are you a man?"
He used the yakitori that soured hearts
And invented sheep that pull open zippers!
Sheep, goats, camels,
Happily-playing brats, Tohne hunted the fur from them all
She used the sheep that pull open zippers
And invented a string that makes sounds unpleasant!
Though he wanted to play in a band,
Kaga couldn't even remember the order of "do re mi fa so si la"
He used the string that makes sounds unpleasant
And invented a guitar that sounds like noisy munching!
Akuzu grinned as he looked upon the research of his subordinates;
He used the guitar that sounds like noisy munching
And invented a song to make people dumb as a 5-year-old parrot!
Can you believe it? That with just a single breeze,
The world could be brought to ruin?
Akuzu's organization came up with a plot
To play their song to all of mankind!
But time flows like a river, and by that same wind...
The boss of the Scientists of Justice
Was Masaki, statistically kinder than the Buddha
With his abundant knowledge and creativity,
He invented a machine to aid in birthday parties!
To the cause of safe, delicious chicken,
Shoji dedicated her life and her husband
She used the machine to aid in birthday parties
And invented yakitori that understood people's pain!
That time he made carbonara with yogurt,
Yabe had tasted a regret most foul
He used the yakitori that understood people's pain
And invented sheep with tasty milk (compared to a gastroscopy)!
A lover of fashion and animals,
Hata played with her hair and with alligators
She used the sheep with tasty milk (compared to a gastroscopy)
And invented a thread that melts by perfume or temperature!
Puzzled by their popularity in his school days,
Haba still wouldn't forgive those "kinda bad guys"
He used the thread that melts by perfume or temperature
And invented a heart-soothing guitar that even termites love!
Masaki smiled looking upon the research of his colleagues;
He used the heart-soothing guitar that even termites love
And invented a song to make people pure, kind, and noble!
Can you believe it? That with just a single breeze,
The world could be saved?
Akuzu was reformed, and together they made a plan
To play their song to all of mankind!
...With Masaki the victor,
mankind thought they had evaded a crisis...
But the war was not over yet!
They have family meetings now,
And last week, they went to the beach,
But Akuzu was only pretending to listen;
He was still rotten to the core...
He secretly swapped the CDs,
And as the plan's countdown began,
He informed Masaki:
"Looks like I've tricked you!"
"No need to tell me. I knew."
"I only ever pretended to be good to get funding!
No one so much as noticed, but our organization
Never made a single decent thing!
We just took everything!
I'LL be the one to destroy the world, fool!!"
The melody of destruction played,
And all because the wind blew...