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神様はエレキ守銭奴
この度この太陽系に
新たに惑星を作る神様です
会議で決まった予算は
日本円にして1000京円
潤沢とは決して言えませんが
そこは私の腕の見せ所
神々の節約テクを駆使して
体裁だけは保ってみせましょう
低予算で作った生き物に
人間と名付けてみました
誤作動だらけの陳腐なオツム
足りないパーツは7ダース
彼らはなかなかに厄介なハッシュド精神力をお持ちで
いつも困った事があるとすぐ私に祈るのです
祈りをフリーダイヤルみたいに使うな!
費用はこっちで負担してるんだぞ!
そんなとこにお金がかかると
オゾン層を維持するお金を削っちゃうぞ
お前らの半熟脳みそと天界を
有線LANでつなげてやろうか!
人間と名付けた生き物は
足りないオツムで考える
彼らは好奇心が旺盛で
この星の秘密を知りたがる
脱脂綿詰めただけの地殻
エアコン切れてただけの氷河期
恐竜の化石は趣味のプラモ
どうか気づかないで!
ブレーカー落ちてる間にマンモス滅んだ
これぞオール電化惑星のリスク
金星の神から輸入してた
電気が値上がりしたからケチってたんだ
このペースだとあと数年で予算を使い切りそう
どうやって運営しよう!
予算があれば地軸はまっすぐにできたし
完璧な生き物にもできたんだ でも偶然
地軸の傾きは四季を生んで 不完全な心は愛を生んだ
案外良い星になった
でももう無理!こんなクソ星すぐ売るわ!
そのお金で天国の国債買う!
あとはせいぜい上手く歩めよヒト科ども!
私無しじゃすぐ死ぬだろうけど!(笑)
せっかくだし最後に有給でも取って
温泉に行くことにするかな!
熱海
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Kamisama wa Ereki Shusendo
Kono tabi kono taiyoukei ni
Arata ni wakusei o tsukuru kamisama desu
Kaigi de kimatta yosan wa
Nihon en ni shite sen-kei-en
Juntaku to wa keshite iemasen ga
Soko wa watashi no ude no misedokoro
Kamigami no setsuyaku teku o kushi shite
Teisai dake wa tamotte misemashou
Teiyosan de tsukutta ikimono ni
Ningen to nadzukete mimashita
Gosadou darake no chinpu na otsumu
Tarinai paatsu wa nana-daasu
Karera wa nakanaka ni yakkai na hasshudo seishinryoku o o-mochi de
Itsumo komatta koto ga aru to sugu watashi ni inoru no desu
Inori o furii daiyaru mitai ni tsukau na!
Hiyou wa kocchi de futan shiterunda zo!
Sonna toko ni o-kane ga kakaru to
Ozon sou o iji suru o-kane o kezucchau zo
Omaera no hanjuku noumiso to tenkai o
Yuusen LAN de tsunagete yarou ka!
Ningen to nadzuketa ikimono wa
Tarinai otsumu de kangaeru
Karera wa koukishin ga ousei de
Kono hoshi no himitsu o shiritagaru
Dasshimen tsumeta dake no chikaku
Eakon kireteta dake no hyougaki
Kyouryuu no kaseki wa shumi no puramo
Douka kidzukanaide!
Bureekaa ochiteru ma ni manmosu horonda
Kore zo ooru denka wakusei no risuku
Kinsei no kami kara yunyuu shiteta
Denki ga neagari shita kara kechittetanda
Kono peesu dato ato suunen de yosan o tsukaikirisou
Dou yatte unei shiyou!
Yosan ga areba chijiku wa massugu ni dekitashi
Kanpeki na ikimono ni mo dekitanda demo guuzen
Chijiki no katamuki wa shiki o unde fukanzen na kokoro wa ai o unda
Angai ii hoshi ni natta
Demo mou muri! Konna kuso hoshi sugu uru wa!
Sono o-kane de tengoku no kokusai kau!
Ato wa seizei umaku ayume yo hitoka-domo!
Watashi nashi ja sugu shinu darou kedo! (wara)
Sekkaku dashi saigo ni yuukyuu demo totte
Onsen ni iku koto ni suru kana!
Atami
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God's An Energy Cheapskate [Alternate]
Hello, I'm a god of this solar system,
And I'm going to make a new planet
As decided by assembly,
My budget's 10 quintillion Japanese yen
I wouldn't say it's an abundant amount,
But that's just where I shine;
With liberal use of my godly saving skills,
I'll at least try to make things work...
I made some low-budget creatures
And dubbed them humans
Their cheap little heads are full of faults;
They're lacking seven dozen parts
They're a rather troublesome, over-emotional sort;
They've always got troubles, so they pray to me...
Don't pray like it's a toll-free call, dammit!
I'm the one who has to work the costs!
If you waste money on that kind of junk,
I'll have less to spend on the ozone layer!
Hell, I might as well link your peanut brains
To a LAN connection with the heavens!
The creatures I had dubbed humans
Pondered with their deficient brains
They were so curious and energetic,
They dared to seek their planet's secrets
The crust that was just packed with cotton,
The Ice Age - really just turning off the AC;
Those dinosaur fossils are plastic models of mine...
Pay no attention to any of it!
Mammoths went extinct while the breakers were out
We're risking a whole planet with electricity!
I'm borrowing from the god of Venus,
But the price is going up, so I've gotta be stingy!
At this rate, we'll be bankrupt in a few more years...
I've got to handle this somehow!
With funds, I could've made the axis totally straight,
And made perfect creatures too - but as it happens,
The axis's tilt birthed seasons, and imperfect hearts birthed love...
It was a pretty good planet after all...
But I can't do it anymore! I'm selling this crap planet!
And then I'll pay off heaven's national debt!
So walk with your heads high, you pitiful people!
You'll be dead soon without me, though! (LOL!)
I guess now that that's done with, I'll get my pay,
And take a well-earned trip to a hot spring!
Like Atami!