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さくら
「我々は本年度の開花を拒否することにした
いつもなら満開なはずの時期に
さくらの大統領が発表した声明は
人類を震え上がらせたのだった
「まったく人間どもは毎年 ジロジロ見ては発情し
やかんのような奇声を上げ 酒やつまみをキャッチ&リリース
ちょっと開花が近づけば ゛まだ六分咲き゛などと値踏みして
失礼だと思わないのか!?
人の半裸に点数つけてんだぞ!?
お前らの開頭日をニュースに流してやろうか!!
お前らの肉片を散らしてやろうか!!
もし近づく奴がいたら
鼻に枝を刺し込んで
イルミネーションのパーツにするからな!!」
そんなさくらの主張を聞き
【急遽!】組織された対策委員会
過去のご無礼を謝罪し 委員長は提案する
【その1・花見の名称は゛クソ汁の花拝見゛】
【その2・さくら様を前に開口した者は死刑】
これらのルールを決めたものの
人間側から反対が殺到!
・さくらだけ決めるなんて梅に失礼じゃないですか?(16歳 女性)
・こっちも半裸になれば文句ないだろ?(28歳 男性)
・゛開口゛って字は゛閉口゛と見間違えるから使うな(56歳 男性)
・水分量は人によるし汁は不公平!(34歳 女性)
「お前らの団結力はちゃちゃい昆虫以下だよな
ズレた問題で足を引っ張り合って
守れないルールを作って 破って揉めてまた揉めて
絶対押すなよ系のコントみたいだな」
聞いてください、大統領
確かに人類は愚かです
咎め合い奪い合うことでしか 一つになることもできやしない
だけど逃げない!
咎め合い奪い合いながらも
あるかもわからない答えを
探す旅から逃げない!
さあ、咲いてください いつもグダグダな人類だから
いつも変わらず美しい あなたの花びらが欲しい
バラバラな私たちを
まるであざ笑うように
一斉に芽吹く桃色の世界
今年もアホみたいにさ 口を開いて無防備に
バラバラの頭で一緒に思うんだ
゛また来年もみたい゛って
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Sakura
"Wareware wa honnendo no kaika o kyohi suru koto ni shita
Itsumo nara mankai na hazu no jiki ni
Sakura no daitouryou ga happyou shita seimei wa
Jinrui o furueagaraseta no datta"
"Mattaku ningen-domo wa mainen jirojiro mite wa hatsujoushi
Yakan no you na kisei o age sake ya tsumami o kyacchi ando ririisu
Chotto kaika ga chikadzukeba "mada roku-bun saki" nado to nebumi shite
Shitsurei dato omowanai no ka!?
Hito no hanra ni tensuu tsuketen da zo!?"
"Omaera no kai-atama-hi o nyuusu ni nagashite yarou ka!!
Omaera no nikuhen o chirashite yarou ka!!
Moshi chikadzuku yatsu ga itara
Hana ni eda o sashikonde
Irumineeshon no paatsu ni suru kara na!!"
Sonna sakura no shuchou o kiki
[Kyuukyo!] Soshiki sareta taisaku iinkai
Kako no go-burei o shazaishi iinchou wa teian suru
[Sono ichi - Hanami no meishou wa "kusojiru no hana haiken"]
[Sono ni - Sakura-sama o mae ni kaikou shita mono wa shikei]
Korera no ruuru o kimeta monono
Ningen-gawa kara hantai ga sattou!
- Sakura dake kimeru nante ume ni shitsurei janai desu ka? (16-sai Josei)
- Kocchi mo hanra ni nareba monku nai daro? (28-sai Dansei)
- "Kaikou" tte ji wa "heikou" to mimachigaeru kara tsukau na (56-sai Dansei)
- Suibunryou wa hito ni yorushi siru wa fukouhei! (34-sai Josei)
"Omaera no danketsuryoku wa chachai konchuu ika da yo na
Zureta mondai de ashi o hippari atte
Mamorenai ruuru o tsukutte yabutte momete mata momete
Zettai osu na yo kei no konto mitai da na"
Kiite kudasai, daitouryou
Tashika ni jinrui wa oroka desu
Togameai ubaiau koto de shika hitotsu ni naru koto mo dekiyashinai
Dakedo nigenai!
Togameai ubaiainagara mo
Aru kamo wakaranai kotae o
Sagasu tabi kara nigenai!
Saa, saite kudasai itsumo gudaguda na jinrui dakara
Itsumo kawarazu utsukushii anata no hanabira ga hoshii
Barabara na watashi-tachi o
Marude azawarau you ni
Issei ni mebuku momoiro no sekai
Konnen mo aho-mitai ni sa kuchi o hiraite muboubi ni
Barabara no atama de issho ni omounda
"Mata rainen mo mitai" tte
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Sakura
"We have declined blooming for this fiscal year;
So at the time we would usually bloom,
President Sakura has issued a declaration
That we terrorize humanity instead!"
"Every year, those accursed humans sit and stare,
Making strange shrieks like kettles, it's a catch and release of booze and snacks
As bloom approaches, they comment "only 60% there";
Don't you realize how rude that is?!
Do you rate human nakedness on a scale?!"
"Shall I put it on the news when your heads open up?!
Or shall I scatter your cut flesh like petals?!
If anyone should come near us,
We'll stab a branch in their nose,
And use them for light decorations!!"
We heard the sakura's claims, and...
[Breaking News!] Planning Committee Organized!
We apologized for our rudeness, and proposed this:
"ONE! "Flower viewing" now "Poop-Soup Flower Gazing"!"
"TWO! Death to those who gape before the sakura!"
Though we established these rules...
The humans were fiercely opposed!
- Isn't letting sakura decide unfair to plum trees? (16, Female)
- Nobody complains when I'm half-naked, y'know? (28, Male)
- Does "gape" mean open or closed? Don't use it! (56, Male)
- People's body water varies! Making soup isn't fair! (34, Female)
"Your cooperation is worse than teeny insects!
Your misaligned problems trip each other up!
You create rules which you can't obey, then break them, argue, and argue again!
If you're told not to push a button, you always do!"
Please listen, Mr. President;
Humanity is foolish indeed...
With their blaming and competing, they can never unify...
But we won't give in!
Though we quarrel and struggle,
There may still be an answer,
And we won't give up on finding it!
Now please, bloom; humanity being uncouth as always,
We wish to see your petals, for they always hold such beauty...
Given that we exist in disarray,
As if meaning to ridicule us,
A world of pink bloomed forth all at once
Like the fools we are, our jaws hang open another year,
And despite our differences, we all share a thought...
"I hope to see them again next year..."