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パンダヒーロー
廃材にパイプ 錆びた車輪
銘々に狂った 絵画の市
黄色いダーツ板に 注射の針と
ホームベースに 縫糸の手
お困りならばあいつを呼べ
送電塔が囲むグラウンド
白黒曖昧な正義のヒーロー
左手には金属バット
ノイズだけ吐いて 犬ラジオ
フラフラにネオン バニーガール
相場はオピウムの種一粒
奥の方に呑まれていく
「一つ頼むぜ、お願いだ」
カラカラの林檎差し出して
何でもないような声で愚図って
さあ 何処にも行けないな
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
煙る 蒸気 喧騒の目
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
ここで 登場 ピンチヒッター
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
あれは きっと パンダヒーロー
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
さらば 一昨日 殺人ライナー
カニバリズムと言葉だけ
歌うアンドロイドと遊んでる
きっと嫌われてんだ我がヒーロー
きっと望まれてんだほらヒーロー
カニバリズムと言葉だけ
歌うアンドロイドと遊んでる
きっと嫌われてんだ我がヒーロー
きっと望まれてんだほらヒーロー
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
狙い 眩む 三遊間
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
ここで 登場 ピンチランナー
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
つまり 二点 ビハインド
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
上手く行かない感情制限
バケツ被った猫が鳴く
一人また一人消えて行く
今更どうしようもないこのゲーム
さあ 何処にも行けないな
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
かなる 売女 暴言の目
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
ブザー 蜘蛛の仔 警報灯
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
あれは きっと パンダヒーロー
パッパッパラッパパパラパ
さらば 一昨日 殺人ライナー
壊して回れ ブラウン管
さらば 一昨日 殺人ライナー
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Panda Hiiroo
Haizai ni paipu sabita sharin
Meimei ni kurutta gaiga no ichi
Kiiroi daatsu-ita ni chuusha no hari to
Hoomu beesu ni houshi no te
O-komari naraba aitsu o yobe
Soudentou ga kakomu guraundo
Shirokuro aimai na seigi no hiiroo
Hidari-te ni wa kinzoku batto
Noizu dake haite inu-rajio
Furafura ni neon banii gaaru
Souba wa opiumu no tanehitotsubu
Oku no hou ni nomareteiku
"Hitotsu tanomu ze, o-negai da"
Karakara no ringo sashidashite
Nandemonai you na koe de guzutte
Saa doko ni mo ikenai na
Pappappara papaparapa
Kenmuru jouki kensou no me
Pappappara papaparapa
Koko de toujou pinchi hittaa
Pappappara papaparapa
Are wa kitto Panda Hiiroo
Pappappara papaparapa
Saraba ototoi satsujin rainaa
Kanibarizumu to kotoba dake
Utau andoroido to asonderu
Kitto kirawaretenda waga hiiroo
Kitto nozomaretenda hora hiiroo
Kanibarizumu to kotoba dake
Utau andoroido to asonderu
Kitto kirawaretenda waga hiiroo
Kitto nozomaretenda hora hiiroo
Pappappara papaparapa
Nerai kuramu san-yuukan
Pappappara papaparapa
Koko de toujou pinchi rannaa
Pappappara papaparapa
Tsumari ni-ten bihaindo
Pappappara papaparapa
Umaku ikanai kanjou seigen
Baketsu kabutta neko ga naku
Hitori mata hitori kieteiku
Imasara doushiyou mo nai kono geemu
Saa doko ni mo ikenai na
Pappappara papaparapa
Kanaru baita bougen no me
Pappappara papaparapa
Buzaa kumo no shi keihoutou
Pappappara papaparapa
Are wa kitto Panda Hiiroo
Pappappara papaparapa
Saraba ototoi satsujin rainaa
Kowashite maware Buraun-kan
Saraba ototoi satsujin rainaa
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Panda Hero
Pipes mixed with scrap, rusted wheels,
Crazy in its own ways, a picturesque town
Injection needles stuck into a yellow dartboard,
And a sewn hand on home base
If you find yourself troubled, call for them,
On the field enclosed by electric towers
A black-and-white hero of unclear morals,
A metal bat in their left hand
The dog-radio spits out only noise
A flickering neon bunny girl
The rate is a seed of opium
Deeper in, they're gulping it down
"One, please, I'm begging you,"
And they present a dried-up apple
Grumbling in an uncaring voice;
Now, there's nowhere to run!
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Wild eyes smoking steam
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Here they come, our pinch hitter
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
No mistaking it, that's the Panda Hero
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
So long to yesteryear's killer liner!
Speaking only of cannibalism,
Playing with singing androids
Of course we despise them, our hero,
But of course we hope for them - come, hero!
Speaking only of cannibalism,
Playing with singing androids
Of course we despise them, our hero,
But of course we hope for them - come, hero!
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Aim going dizzy between third and shortstop
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Here they come, our pinch runner
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
In short, we're behind two points
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
And we're left feeling this won't go well...
A cat donning a bucket wails,
Another, yes, another has vanished
By now, there's nothing to be done about this game;
Now, there's nowhere to run!
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
A peddling girl with abusive eyes
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Buzzers, people scrambling, warning lights
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
No mistaking it, that's the Panda Hero
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
So long to yesteryear's killer liner!
Destroy! Spin! CRT!
So long to yesteryear's killer liner!
Pipes mixed in with scrap, 'n' wheels rusted stuck;
Here's a town of pictures, all running amok
Needles sticking from a long-faded dartboard,
And a knitted hand lying on home base
If you're ever troubled, you know who to call,
At watchtower field, arena for brawls
There we find our black-and-white-and-amoral hero,
Gripping to a metal bat, left-handed
All we hear is noise, barked from a radio;
See, a blinking-neon bunny girl
What they're dealing in is some kind of opium
Deeper inward, they're all gulping it down
"I'll be taking one, that's my only request,"
All they can present's an apple, dried up
Grumbling lamentably and going the motions
Now, there's nowhere for any to run!
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Smoking with steam, yes, there's riot in those eyes
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Now up to bat, it's our pinch hitter
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
We have no doubts, that's our Panda Hero
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
So long to yesteryear's killer liner!
Cannibalism's the only word that they'll say
With singing androids, that's who they choose to play
Well, of course we do despise them - yes, our one hero,
But, of course we long to see them - come, our one hero!
Cannibalism's the only word that they'll say
With singing androids, that's who they choose to play
Well, of course we do despise them - yes, our one hero,
But, of course we long to see them - come, our one hero!
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
From third to shortstop, our aim is going wild
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Now on the base, it's our pinch runner
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
To put it simply, we're two points behind
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
We've got a feeling that this just won't end well...
Adorned with a bucket, a cat wails loud,
One, oh yes, another has now been stricken out
Now there's surely not a chance to turn this game's tables;
Now, there's nowhere for any to run!
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
A peddling girl, glaring eyes so harsh and stark
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
Scrambling to buzzers and with warning lights
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
We have no doubts, that's our Panda Hero
Pa-pa-pa-lah, pa-pa-pa-la-pah
So long to yesteryear's killer liner!
Break to pieces, run the bases, smash the CRT!
So long to yesteryear's killer liner!
* CLICK FOR... UH...
...Excuse me?
Alright, so the most reasonable explanation I've got is that Hachi in the guise of Gumi ("playing with singing androids"? Come on, now) joins a baseball team in a rainy town hive of scum and villainy. They're weird and nobody likes them much, BUT THEY NEED THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE THE BEST THEY'VE GOT. Besides, everyone else in the town is terrible, so they're just barely better enough to be a "hero" to them, questionable morals and all.
The song may be from the point of view of the pink-haired Gumi in a sports bar of sorts, watching a game in which the Panda Hero appears/intervenes. "Destroy! Spin! CRT!" in that case is probably directed at the TV they're watching it on, though who knows if they want to destroy the TV or if they're commands to the Panda Hero (and "spin" is more like "go around the bases").
On a slightly different note, not too long before the release of OFFICIAL ORANGE, Hachi made a short series of story tweets with vague connections to the song. Here's how it goes:
Hachi was swinging an umbrella at a train station and somebody saw him and told him he had a "nice swing." On the way home, he thought back to the end of a baseball game in which all the pressure was on him, and he was unable to even swing the bat. So when he gets home, he cuts his own hair, goes into the garage, pulls out an old bat, and starts swinging, feeling that he "had only just been born."
And then he said "Of course, that was a lie." So who knows.