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しんでしまうとはなさけない！
Oh…しんでしまうとはなさけない！
3.2.1…×××！！
「王！」
「何！」
「ＨＥＬＰ！」
「何事じゃ」
「ひぃ、姫さらわれましたぁ」
「勇者は？」
「いません」
「うーん、そうだ！かくなる上はお前が勇者だ」
設定崩壊…！！
「さぁ、その宝箱の中身とこのなけなしの金で
旅立って仲間を探して化けもん倒して…」
（…適当じゃねえか）
「とにかく困ったら町の人々に話しかけようぜ？
ボスとか全然倒せる！倒せる！マ・ジ・デ！
いばって いばって いばって 当然
だって実際に一番偉いから
人ごとみたくいってくれるぜ
まったくもって上から目線すぎるぜ…
経験値 経験値 経験値 積んで
もっと屈強な仲間探したまえ！
てゆうか私は一兵卒です
有給休暇がデリート！デリート！
「そなたがラスボスを倒してくる日を楽しみにまっておるぞぃ！」
世界平和を取り戻す為、
お国の平和を守る為、
一番後ろで指揮をとります
そなたの経験値を伝えましょう
あなたの為に 世界の為に
戦う僕らの愛国心
仲間も死んで絶滅寸前
やっぱりレベルが足りねえ…orz
「あなたのパーティーは全滅しました。おお、神様よ！アーメン」
おお！しんでしまうとはなさけない！
さすればそなたにもういちど、きかいをあたえよう！
「王様っ」
「なんですか」
「もう！…もう無理です。」
「ええ～！弱音を吐くとはもっとなさけなああああい！」
経済力、軍事力ともに申し分ない我が国は当然、
優秀な人材も潤沢
人望アツいね
ただ、１つ慢性的な問題は国家元首の奔放さ
よくいえば無垢、悪く言えば…O・BA・KA
正真正銘 全人類は 戦闘民族
いわずもがな （OK？）
協調性や、順応性が重要なんて
浮世はクソゲーか？！
次のレベルになるには
あと1000ポイントのけいけんが
さらにはもっと自己主張が必要じゃな
くじけるな OK？
テリッサ ボロッソ ザンシ パロント
魔法使いも 使いもんになってきたが、
余裕しゃくしゃくうすら笑いで
ごたくばっかならべてしゃくに触るぜ…
ホリット ホリット ホリット ばっか
僧侶はホリットばっかで バカなの？
王のアタシを眠らすなんて
アンタラ一体何様？さては謀反か？
「僕は勇者じゃありません。むしろ王が勇者だと思いまーす！」
世界平和を取り戻す為、
お国の平和を守る為、
最前線に身を投じませ
支持率アップは目に見えた！（オイコラ）
権益の為 お金の為に
戦う王様 何をみる
近衛もひん死 絶滅寸前
しんでしまうとはなさけなああああああい！
世界平和を取り戻す為、
あなたの笑顔を守る為、
魔王軍関連情報を
命からがらにかき集め
今日も今日とて鎮座している
まことの勇者を待っている
他力本願ではありません
わしらじゃやつらにゃかなわねえ：；
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Shinde Shimau to wa Nasakenai!
Oh... Shinde shimau to wa nasakenai!
San ni ichi... XXX!!
"Ou!"
"Nani?"
"HELP!"
"Nanigoto ja"
"Hii, hime sarawaremashitaa"
"Yuusha wa?"
"Imasen"
"Uun, sou da! Kakunaru ue wa omae ga yuusha da"
Settei houkai...!!
"Saa, sono takarabako no nakami to kono nakenashi no kane de
Tabidatte nakama o sagashite bakemon taoshite..."
(...Tekitou janee ka)
"Tonikaku komattara machi no hitobito ni hanashikakeyou ze?
Bosu toka zenzen taoseru! Taoseru!" Ma-ji-de!
Ibatte ibatte ibatte totsuzen
Datte jissai ni ichibai erai kara
Hito-goto miraku itte kureru ze
Mattaku motte ue kara mesen sugiru ze...
Keikenchi keikenchi keikenchi tsunde
Motto kukkyou na nakama sagashitamae!
Teyuu ka watashi wa i-heisotsu desu
Yuukyuukyuuka ga deriito! Deriito!
"Sonata ga rasubosu o taoshite kuru hi o tanoshimi ni matte oru zoi!"
Sekai heiwa o torimodosu tame,
O-kuni no heiwa o mamoru tame,
Ichiban ushiro de shiki o torimasu
Sonata no keikenchi o tsutaemashou
Anata no tame ni sekai no tame ni
Tatakau bokura no aikokushin
Nakama mo shinde zetsumetsu sunzen
Yappari reberu ga tarinee... orz
"Anata no paatii wa zenmetsu shimashita. Oo, kamisama yo! Aamen"
Oo! Shinde shimau to wa nasakenai!
Sasureba sonata ni mou ichido, kikai o ataeyou!
"Ousama"
"Nan desu ka"
"Mou! ...Mou muri desu."
"Ee~! Yowane o haku to wa motto nasakenaaaaai!"
Keizairyoku, gunjiryoku tomo ni moushibunnai waga kuni wa totsuzen,
Yuushuu na jinzai mo juntaku
Jinbou atsui ne
Tada, hitotsu manseiteki na mondai wa kokka genshu no hanpou sa
Yoku ieba muku, waruku ieba... O-BA-KA
Shuushinshoumei zenjinrui wa sentou minzoku
Iwazu mo ga na (OK?)
Kyouchousei ya, junnousei ga hitsuyou nante
Ukiyo wa kusogee ka?!
Tsugi no reberu ni naru ni wa
Ato sen pointo no keiken ga
Sara ni wa motto jikoshuchou ga hitsuyou ja na
Kujikeru na OK?
Terissa Borosso Zanshi Paronto
Mahoutsukai mo tsukai-mon ni natte kita ga,
Yoyuu shakushaku usura warai de
Gotaku bakka narabete shaku ni sawaru ze...
Horitto Horitto Horitto bakka
Souryo wa Horitto bakka de baka nano?
Ou no atashi o nemurasu nante
Antara ittai nanisama? Sate wa muhon ka?
"Boku wa yuusha ja arimasen. Mushiro ou ga yuusha dato omoimaasu!"
Sekai heiwa o torimodosu tame,
O-kuni no heiwa o mamoru tame,
Saizensen ni mi o toujimase
Shijiritsu appu wa me ni mieta! (Oi kora)
Keneki no tame okane no tame ni
Tatakau ousama nani o miru
Konoe mo hinshi zetsumetsu sunzen
Shinde shimau to wa nasakenaaaaaaai!
Sekai heiwa o torimodosu tame,
Anata no egao o mamoru tame,
Maou-gun kanren jouhou o
Inochi karagara ni kaki atsume
Kyou mo kyou tote chinza shiteiru
Makoto no yuusha o matteiru
Tarikihongan dewa arimasen
Washira ja yatsura nya kanawanee :;
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Death Should Not Have Taken Thee! [Alternate]
Alas... Death should not have taken thee!
3, 2, 1... XXX!!
"Majesty!"
"What?"
"HELP!"
"With what?"
"Th... The princess has been kidnapped!"
"What of the hero?"
"There isn't one."
"Hmm, okay! If it's come to that, you're the hero!"
There goes the setting...!!
"Take now the contents of those treasure chests and this paltry sum,
set out, find a party, defeat the monsters..."
(...Are you just saying whatever?)
"Oh, and if you're ever troubled, talk to the townspeople, 'kay?
Defeat all those bosses good! Knock 'em down!" ...For real?!
Be proud, be proud, be proud - of course!
Because you truly are the greatest!
Yeah, that's easy for you to say!
Geez, you're really on a high perch...
Experience, experience, experience, pile it up!
And find stronger party members!
So you say, but I'm just a soldier;
Paid vacation? Delete! Delete!
"Verily, I wait with bated breath for the day you defeat the last boss!"
To restore peace to the world,
To protect the peace of the land,
I direct from all the way in back;
I shall tell you thy experience points!
Fighting for you, for the world,
Recognize our patriotism!
We're on the brink of destruction, party fallen;
I knew my levels weren't enough... orz
"Your party has been annihilated. Oh, God! Amen."
Alas! Death should not have taken thee!
I will give thee a second chance!
"Your majesty!"
"What is it?"
"This is...! This is impossible."
"Haaah?! I see that death didn't take thy SAAAAASS!!"
With the unquestionable economic and military power of our land,
Of course we have people of talent too!
Such popularity!
But the one chronic problem is the uninhibited ruler;
"Pure" to put it nicely, to put it meanly... A MORON.
It's genuine, all humanity is a warring species,
Not that it merits saying... (OK?)
You're saying they need cooperative personalities and adaptability?
Is this world a crap game?!
To reach the next level,
Thy experience points must increase by 1000,
But thou also needs to be more assertive!
Don't give in, OK?
Telissa, Boroso, Zanshi, Palante,
These mages sure are maging themselves useful...
With a calm composure and wry smile,
Talking impertinently, I hold my scepter...
Holit, Holit, Holit, always the same;
Monks keep using Holit, are they Holidiots?
Trying to put I, the sovereign, to sleep?
Who do you think you are? Is this a rebellion?
"I am no hero. Rather, majesty, I believe you are the hero!"
To restore peace to the world,
To protect the peace of the land,
I throw myself to the front line;
I can see my approval rating going up! (H-Hey!)
Fighting for interests, for money,
What does our ruler see?
On the brink of destruction, guards dying;
Death should not take theeeeeEEEEE!
To restore peace to the world,
To protect your smile,
We barely manage to scrape up
Info on the dark lord's forces...
So today, I just sit here in safety,
As we await the true hero
I'm not getting others to do my work;
It's just I'm no match for those guys... :;
* The title is a reference to the king's line in Dragon Quest when you die. A more literal translation is simply "it's a shame you have died!" Of course, various other lines are referenced too.
** I would guess Telissa, Boroso, Zanshi, Palante, and Holit are meant to parody DQ spell names, though they don't seem to resemble the names of any spells in particular.