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地底人が見せた抜群の生活感
私は地底探検隊の一員
頭を打ったらしくここ数時間の記憶が無い
地下52kmの空洞で孤立 非常事態
反重力発生装置で帰還する
不意に現れたお風呂上がりの地底人
タオル代わりにと装置を奪う
多分あんまり水吸わないですけど!?
引き換えにハンガーとかもらいましても!?
不意に現れた埋めた骨を探し過ぎた犬
首輪代わりにとハンガーを奪う
強烈な襟みたいになりますけど!?
引き換えにドリアンとかもらいましても!?
不意に現れた脚が長過ぎる人のお座敷
靴下代わりにとドリアンを奪う
臭う上に靴を貫きますけど!?
引き換えに高枝ばさみとかもらいましても!?
不意に現れたイモを堀り過ぎた幼稚園児
爪切り代わりにと高枝ばさみを奪う
下手すりゃ指ごと持ってかれそうですけど!?
引き換えに土鍋とかもらいましても!?
不意に現れた井戸水を欲し過ぎたエコロジスト
スコップ代わりにと土鍋を奪う
桶の代わりの方がいい気がしますけど!?
引き換えにカボチャとかもらいましても!?
不意に現れた刺し過ぎた伝説の剣
どんな勇者なら引き抜けるんだ
うっかりつまずき 装置と引き換えに
残ったカボチャもまっ二つ
恐ろしい 地底の世界
このままじゃ地上に帰れない
負けないぞ 奪い返す
地上に戻るための翼を
また会ったなおい!井戸水を欲し過ぎたエコロジスト!
カボチャを丁寧に裏ごしして
井戸水をカボチャスープにするぞコラ!
こうして土鍋を奪還
また会ったなおい!イモを堀り過ぎた幼稚園児!
土鍋をスコップ代わりにして
せっかく掘ったイモ埋めるぞコラ!
こうして高枝ばさみを奪還
また会ったなおい!脚が長過ぎる人のお座敷!
高枝ばさみを爪切り代わりにして
小指の爪を奇麗に切るぞコラ!
こうしてドリアンを奪還
また会ったなおい!埋めた骨を探し過ぎた犬!
ドリアンを靴下代わりにして
臭細胞を殲滅するぞコラ!
こうしてハンガーを奪還
また会ったなおい!お風呂上がりの地底人!
ハンガーを首輪代わりにして
地上で大事に飼育するコラ!
こうして反重力発生装置を奪還
持っていたタオルで装置をお手入れ
どうやら正常に動作するようだ
地上に帰還 気がかりは
はぐれた隊員たちだが…
バーベキュー 楽しんでる
先に戻って肉焼いてた
地下に続く この穴を
ゴミ箱代わりに使うなコラ!
半分が 残ってた
カボチャを切って焼いて食べながら
はしゃいでる 部下を一人
捕まえて穴に突き落とす!
私は地底探検隊の一員
頭を打ったらしくここ数時間の記憶が無い
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Chitei-jin ga Miseta Batsugun Seikatsu-kan
Watashi wa chitei tankentai no ichiin
Atama o butta rashiku koko suu-jikan no kioku ga nai
Chika 52 km no kuudoude koritsu hijoujitai
Han-juuryoku hassei souchi de kikan suru
Fui ni arawareta o-furo-agari no chiteijin
Taoru kawari ni to souchi o ubau
Tabun anmari mizu suwanai desu kedo!?
Hikikae ni hangaa toka moraimashite mo!?
Fui ni arawareta umeta hone o sagashi sugita inu
Kubiwa kawari ni to hangaa o ubau
Kyouretsu na eri mitai ni narimasu kedo!?
Hikikae ni dorian toka moraimashite mo!?
Fui ni arawareta ashi ga nagasugiru hito no o-zashiki
Kutsushita kawari ni to dorian o ubau
Niou ue ni kutsu o tsuranukimasu kedo!?
Hikikae ni takaeda-bazami toka moraimashite mo!?
Fui ni arawareta imo o hori sugita youchienji
Tsumekiri kawari ni to takaeda-bazami o ubau
Heta surya yubi-goto motte karesou desu kedo!?
Hikikae ni donabe toka moraimashite mo!?
Fui ni arawareta ido-mizu o hoshi sugita ekorojisuto
Sukoppu kawari ni to donabe o ubau
Oke no kawari no hou ga ii ki ga shimasu kedo!?
Hikikae ni kabocha toka moraimashite mo!?
Fui ni arawareta sashi sugita densetsu no ken
Donna yuusha nara hikinukerunda
Ukkari tsumazuki souchi to hikikae ni
Nokotta kabocha mo maffutatsu
Osoroshii chitei no sekai
Kono mama ja chijou ni kaerenai
Makenai zo ubaikaesu
Chijou ni modoru tame no tsubasa o
Mata atta na oi! Ido-mizu o hoshi sugita ekorojisuto!
Kabocha o teinei ni uragoshi shite
Ido-mizu o kabocha suupu ni suru zo kora!
Koushite donabe o dakkan
Mata atta na oi! Imo o hori sugita youchienji!
Donabe o sukoppu kawari ni shite
Sekkaku hotta imo umeru zo kora!
Koushite takaeda-bazami o dakkan
Mata atta na oi! Ashi ga nagasugiru hito no o-zashiki!
Takaeda-bazami o tsumekiri kawari ni shite
Koyubi no tsume o kirei ni kiru zo kora!
Koushite dorian o dakkan
Mata atta na oi! Umeta hone o sagashi sugita inu!
Dorian o kutsushita kawari ni shite
Shuusaibou o senmetsu zo kora!
Koushite hangaa o dakkan
Mata atta na oi! O-furo-agari no chiteijin!
Hangaa o kubiwa kawari ni shite
Chijou de daiji ni shiiku suru zo kora!
Tsu ni han-juuryoku hassei souchi o dakkan
Motteita taoru de souchi o o-teire
Douyara seijou ni dousa suru you da
Chijou ni kikan kigakari wa
Hagureta taiin-tachi daga...
Baabekyuu tanoshinderu
Saki ni modotte niku yaiteta
Chika ni tsudzuku kono ana o
Gomi-bako kawari ni tsukau na kora!
Hanbun ga nokotteta
Kabocha o kitte yaite tabenagara
Hashaideru buka o hitori
Tsukamaete ana ni tsukiotosu!
Watashi wa chitei tankentai no ichiin
Atama o butta rashiku koko suu-jikan no kioku ga nai
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Learning Effective Living from Cavepeople
I'm a member of an underground expedition;
I hit my head, and I don't remember the past few hours...
Isolated in a cave 52 km down, it's an emergency,
But I can get back with my anti-grav device!
Suddenly there were cavepeople just out of the bath,
And they stole my device to use as a towel
Um, I'm not sure it'll suck up water that well?!
I appreciate getting a coat hanger, but...?!
Suddenly, a dog looking for buried bones,
And it stole my coat hanger to use as a collar
Um, that seems like it might choke you?!
I appreciate getting these durians, but...?!
Suddenly, a man with extremely long legs,
And he stole my durians to use as socks
Um, they stink and poke through your shoes?!
I appreciate getting these hedge clippers, but...?!
Suddenly, a kindergartner digging for potatoes,
And he stole my hedge clippers to use for his nails
Um, you might take off your whole finger, you know?!
I appreciate getting this cooking pot, but...?!
Suddenly, an ecologist wanting well water,
And he stole my cooking pot to use as a shovel
Um, I feel like it'd be better as a bucket?!
I appreciate getting this pumpkin, but...?!
Suddenly, a legendary sword stuck way too deep,
The kind that only a hero can pull out
I stumbled and fell - now, instead of my device,
All I had left was a split pumpkin...
The underground is a terrifying place!
At this rate, I'll never return to the surface...
Never give up! I'll steal it back!
I'll win back my wings to the surface...
So we meet again, well-water-wanting ecologist!
If we simply strain this pumpkin...
Hah! I've made your water into pumpkin soup!
And so I recovered my cooking pot!
So we meet again, kindergartner digging potatoes!
If we use this pot as a shovel...
Hah! I've buried all the potatoes you dug up!
And so I recovered my hedge clippers!
So we meet again, man with very long legs!
If we use these hedge clippers as nail clippers...
Hah! I've finely trimmed your toenails!
And so I recovered my durians!
So we meet again, dog looking for buried bones!
If we use these durians as socks...
Hah! I've destroyed your sense of smell!
And so I recovered my coat hanger!
So we meet again, cavepeople out of the bath!
If we use this coat hanger as a collar...
Hah! I can breed you back on the surface!
And so I recovered my anti-grav device!
Cleaning the device with a towel I had on hand,
Everything seemed to be working fine
On the way to the surface, I was worried;
Worried for the other members - but...
They were enjoying a barbeque,
Grilling meat they'd brought back earlier,
And using this hole that goes deep down
As a trash can...?! Come on!
Still having a half left,
I cut up and munched on my pumpkin
And I got near a member enjoying himself...
Grabbed him, and pushed him down the hole!
I'm a member of an underground expedition;
I hit my head, and I don't remember the past few hours...