March 17th, 2020
I put my removed hernia on display next to my Nanachi figurine. (delirious)
Ordered an Airweave mattress.
This cushion is super nice! My back muscles can streeetch... I'm grateful.
Happy hospital release!!! A lot of stuff arrived!! Thank you!! :crying: :crying: :crying: :folded hands: :folded hands: I'll live!! [Photo of a bunch of the food gifts.]
I'm pitiful, so even at my age I'm quick to cry, and act spoiled, and go like "I don't wannaaa," but I want to carry out the things I should do regardless and keep things in balance...
It's really hard being forced into various efforts when you're just living, and if cursing someone or something would improve the situation, I'd gladly do it. But that won't help me one bit, so the most efficient thing's to calmly do what I can one thing at a time...
But I'm glad I was finally able to sleep soundly in my own bed... Thank you for your many replies. A lot of food from my wishlist had arrived when I got home, so I'll get to that later.
You should know if you read it, but it hasn't really been a complete recovery, and I'm still hurting and sleeping... :sniffle: Get better already...
I've learned just how tricky hernias are even with medical advances... I wonder, is it not possible in practice to fill up the gap in the invertebral disk itself? :sniffle: Super scared of a relapse...
Progress on my life.
Posted [Public Post] Leaving Hospital Report to Pixiv Fanbox!
I worried a great many of you, but I'm alive. Even though hernias aren't necessarily life-threatening...
To sum up the surgery I had, it was harsh, with me having a second surgery the very same day. A new hernia appeared in the same place as the extracted hernia, which was the cause of the further pain I felt.
I've left the hospital now, but the nerve pain throughout my entire left leg has been getting stronger since even before the first surgery, and it feels like numbness was added on top of that. :crying: It's been numb, so I'm uneasy...
Given this situation, there's still a ways to go before I can say "I've had a complete recovery!", but...
- Quite a lot of the hernia was already removed in the second surgery
- There are limits to how much it can stick out, so even if there is a relapse, it shouldn't put as much pressure as before
- Because of this, what's causing my current pain very likely isn't pressure from a reappeared hernia, but nerve inflammation from the intense pressure of the relapse following the first surgery (so once the inflammation gets better, it's possible the pain will go away)
Even if I could view it as the symptoms themselves getting worse, this is the progress I've made by way of surgery, possibilities I wouldn't have gotten if I hadn't undergone it. I'll stay positive. And if the pain doesn't go away, I'll think about that then!
% chance of suffering from a hernia
% chance of things going bad and having to get surgery
% chance of relapse immediately after surgery
Honestly, there's been a lot of times I've thought "why am I losing every probability and having to go through this?", but sighing about it won't change the fact that it happened, so whatever situation I end up in, all I can do is my very best in that moment. Oh well.
I'm anxious about the current situation, but there's no such thing as a person without anxieties. Everyone has the chance of something improbable happening to cause them misfortune. You could suddenly get sick, you could get in an accident, you could lose your job. I'm sure everyone's anxious. But we do our best and live. Living means walking with a lot of anxieties, but I'll believe there's something to be gained every time I overcome one, and keep doing what I can.
Hernias aren't over and done with after surgery, and measures to prevent a relapse like daily posture correction, physical training, and staying flexible are essential, apparently. The risk is especially high for about the first six months, so I'll have to start putting in new efforts every day. But if that's what's possible for me to do, I just have to do it!
I'm truly grateful to everyone's encouragement and support through this. Not to let down your many hopes, I'll do my best in my life ahead, self care included. Onward to complete recovery!! :sunglasses:
Made it back home with ASIMO-level walking ability... Exhausted.
It's exuding a flavor!!! It's flavor!!!!!!
Welcome back, flavor!!!!!!!!! :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying: :crying:
Going outside after so long, my head's spinning from information overload.
When I went on a hot springs trip, too, I thought about how taking a trip there was a special event for me, but just daily life for the people working at the resort. Makes me think how everyone has their own life, and how absurd the volume of all the world's information is.
A cycle of hospitalizations to discharges... What's out of the ordinary for me is ordinary life for medical professionals.
I'm not an advanced creature, so I can't get around to being concerned with things in worlds I can't observe, and so while I'm alive, I want to feel good a lot.
After 100 years, everyone dies. Does that mean there's no point to anything you do, or is that why you should think it's fine to do whatever you like without fear? The longer you live, the more you realize what's important is feelings.
Want to become optimistic.