Let's Play Riviera: Chapter 5

Last time we entered the Colosso again. Apparently that caused the water level to stop rising, which is nice.

Okay NOW we're in the colosseum. Which is an ARENA FOR BATTLE. Thanks for the info, Cierra.

Serene what are you doing being southern. So we can choose to pull one of these ropes. Let's pull all three!

Middle: Barrel falls on your head. Ow, my max HP.

Sprites really like hybrid fruits. And hey, with names like "Banango," I think I do too.

After pulling any of these, a memo from either RED SAGE or BLUE FOOL falls that talks about what you got for pulling the rope. Also we get the rope we pulled because it's not nailed down.

And on the next screen -

Red: The Red Sage!
Blue: And the Blue Fool!
Red: Are here!
Blue: Heeere~

So anyway. Apparently these two caused the flood and are calling us cheaters for escaping it. Red is too cool for Fool and leaves him to fight us.

That's my line.

(At this point in the update, I got bored fighting Blue Fool and stopped here to finish it later. About a week after not finishing it, I made up for it with a bonus update.)

After a battle that absolutely did not take months, the Blue Fool fell.

No, Blue Fool, you are the demons. (But really, you did technically delay this LP for months.)

Oh yeah, the flooding. That's nice of him. So he runs away and we keep climbing.

There sure is. And when we see a barrel, we Barralax it.

Or hammer, whatever.

Though really, Ein just seems to be punching it. We get some more Banangos.

Don't stop there! Destroy ALL of it!

Fia offers to uncurse this Real Sword, but for some reason we also get the option to just take it without letting her do that. Uuuum.

(Yeah, I tried, and it just makes you hurt yourself and get a weaker sword.)

It's harder to get appropriate screenshots than I remember. Anyway, we get to see if we are truly courageous. Fun.

What? Rose, I wasn't thinking about that until you offered. (If you try, she just scratches you.)

Yeah, we're courageous as hell.

And sexy.

No comment.

Once out of the Colloseo, a sign falls from the sky.

Fia: It's a very unique style of writing.
Serene: In other words, it sucks.

Wait, so it's not even in another language or anything? Dammit, Lina, I thought you could at least read.

Pretty much the same thing happens here as with the ropes (get a Banango or get hurt), except the correct answer is obvious.

In the next area, Fia gives us an explanation about how the ground is made of mithril or something.

Playing Riviera without an inventory of neat rocks just seems wrong, so sure.

Well that can't be important. (Preceded by "people say the city began sinking.")

Fia hears someone in a dark window, so we throw a rock in there. And out comes...

Insert Mr. Batty joke. Lina asks us to catch it...

And Cierra is a disgusting jerk who thinks about eating it. What.

My name is Ein, come on let's angel karaoke. I caught it and ended up tossing it because it's really not that useful, but hey, Lina likes watching me catch bats for her, so I'll do it.

For having the great idea of going backwards despite the rising water level, we find a mermaid.

I mean, Undine. Look, I can't be expected to keep track of these different names for the same species concept. So she wants to reward us for saving her sister which I don't remember at all.

You can tell she's from an ancient race because she uses the word "jiffy." So she goes to discuss what to give us with the other girls.

Iria: ... ... ... ... *sweatdrop*
Aria: *giggle* Not when a man's around.

Those dirty mermundines. Anyway they're slow so we go on while they're deciding what to give me.

We get to shut down this Golem via Quick Time Event because we got that Golem Manual months ago. However, we still have to deal with the Sad Golem Operators.

(No, really.)


We go back down to the water and get Iria's Bow after Iria gives us some embarrassed anime talk.

We can't get to this green chest or another nearby green chest because we're suddenly in an N64 game or something.

However, we eventually get around to one of them and get a Golden Key. We go all the way back to the golden door and it leads to to the other chest, containing...

I can't think of a good joke about choosing poorly.

But at least Lina always has something worth screenshotting.

Ein knows the code. (Again.)

The... what? If we disable it, we get a note from Red Sage that calls us a cheater. Several screens later, we meet her.

Says the girl who is literally covered only by, uh, weird bandages.

This is a lot funnier if you imagine that Serene just went ZA WARUDO on Sage and Fool, but that's just what happens when you're challenged to fight. Now we fight Red Sage and

she's pretty easy.

Sprites only eradicate other Sprites, and that's only if there are more than eight of them on the same scanline.

We get a choice to kill them or not, but what the hell that's just mean. (What's meaner, though, is that we get 2000 extra points for "passing judgement." You're a jerk, game.)

Finally, we're in the final area, which is some kind of cathedral.

Lina's just in au of how much gold there is here.

Exiled from Asgard, fallen angels, blah blah blah. No one cares.

What. We QTE over to one of the statues for no good reason and climb up, then jump to...

A giant library. Seriously, what.

Oh then I guess we should carefully pick what page we -

One of these days, Lina, I'm going to regret always listening to you. Maybe.

Serene aspires to be a stand-up comic, but Fia interrupts her with something boring.

Yeah well no one likes magic. We pull out some kind of memo stuck in this book Fia's talking about.

Whatever that means. Finally, we get out of here.


What is that even supposed to be?

Oh hey right we're supposed to be looking for Accursed. Guys. So one of those Archangels appears and it's like "you don't have wings either so you should totally join me" but we're like "naw."

And we beat her up and nothing important happens BUT THEN ON THE WAY TO ELENDIA...

Ein's own mind mocks him. Relatable. Alternatively, Ledah is here.

They have an anime talk about how Ein has betrayed him and should come back to his side. Nah, Ledah. Lednah.

And Ledah says nah to making replies that make sense.

After that, he just disappears. Well, that was pointless.

Chapter 6