Now playing Terranigma. (AKA Tenchi Souzou, "Creation of Heaven and Earth.")

The hands of the clock will spin eternally, except when they fall off and that pesky 13th hour appears, with its lousy Tartarus and all.

Man, this game has, like, Castlevania jumping physics. And Ark actually isn't able to turn around instantly like billions of other protagonists. Not sure why I don't remember any of this.

The town is Crystalholm. For reference, it's Crysta in the English version. I'd expect that kind of shortening a lot. Also, it seems Magirock (more like Magicite am I right) is "Prime Blue," which I guess implies it's crystallized (uh) Crystal Blue.

"FOOL! Who told you could you open that box?! ...Also, you have to open chests from the front, duh!"

"I want to go see the Crystal Blue, but... everybody says looking at it damages your eyes... Ark, you go look instead." What a nice kid. (Also I'm pretty sure the English version just said "go blind," making it even more silly.)

"I want to fly someday, just like Ark!" They're just talking about his jumping ability, though. Of course.

"Sometimes, when I look into this lake, I see something that looks like a town. What could it be...?" Gee, I don't know, a reflection?

"Gyaaah! What's that?!" "Pheh! What kinda greeting is calling me a "that"?!"

"...I don't know what to think. Ark... I'm... I'm scared. Something frightens me... I feel something has been set into motion... That's what's so frightening. So... please... don't leave me alone..." Elle is scared of scary things, what a girly girl.

"Why, you...! What did you do to Elle?!" "Oh, yikes! Welp, the same thing just happened to everybody in this town! ...Oh, don't give me that look..."

"You should have known the responsibilities you'd take on by opening that box! Welp, see ya!" (Ironically, he really doesn't yet.)

"Do you want to return the town to normal?" [ Of course! / Eh, whatever ]

"Outside the town? What's out... side... the town? And what the heck's a "tower"?" "You're full of questions already... You sure you can return everyone to normal?"

The inside of the world looks so cool.

"I am the guardian of the tower. Why did you come here?" [ To return to the townspeople to normal / I don't feel like telling you ] For being the savior of the universe, Ark is kind of a jerk.

"Putting on a show for [me]" apparently means playing Snake in reverse with rolly-pollies.

"Ark... what's that thread? It's a pretty thread. It's Crystal Thread. Ark. Can I have that thread?" Elle is kind of weird, I notice. Oh, and she never seems to call Ark "you," just "Ark."

"...But if I make this cloak, Ark might go far away... Ark. You won't do that, will you?" [ Nothing of the sort! / Well, who knows ]

Whoa, am I actually supposed to graze these lasers with a dash, IaMP-style? Intense gameplay revolutions, you saw it here first.

"Ark. I had a... another dream. I was somewhere totally unfamiliar, and I met you, Ark. Amazing, isn't it?"

"Ark. Goodbye... for a little while."

"Whoa! What a world, what a world!" Okay, not really.

"One day, this world suddenly turned to "Void." All living things disappeared, all the continents disappeared..." Wait, I thought I just finished that game.

Wait. Do the helper birds seriously drop poop on you? Poop which makes you go "OH WHAT THE" and get hurt if you step in?

"If I had the chance to be born again, I'd wanna be as cool as the Kingbirds!"

"So? Don't you think total darkness is scary?" [ Scary! / HELL NAW I EAT DARKNESS FOR BREAKFAST ] Okay, not really.

"Anyway, you're probably hungry, right? Shall we have some breakfast? *walks over to husband's corpse*" I said Elle was weird but this deer qualifies pretty well too.

"It's fine. It'll still be warm for a while, so it shouldn't go rotten." "That's kinda not the problem!"

You know, I like how when Ark revives plants and animals it seems just about instantaneous, but it apparently takes him sleeping for three years for humans to make themselves presentable. Or at least to start worshipping some random Kumari guy.

"This is a site for funerals. We place the dead of the village here so the birds can eat them.
Cruel? Don't be ridiculous! Humans eat the meat of animals, and plants are nourished by living remains.
All life goes in a cycle. Nothing goes to waste."

"Hey, where did you come from? And where are you going?" These Arks... I am going to destroy!!

"Ark!! Louran's true form was a GOSUTO TAUN!!"

Also, this girl's name is totally Meiling. The English version made it "MeiLin." Did you really need that extra letter?

Hey, wait, Turbo doesn't get hurt by things? You've got some stiff competition, Leim.

Meiling laughs like Crono when she sees Turbo, apparently. (And cries like Cirno because those tears look more like icicles.)

"Surely you've heard of it before...
When people die, they are reborn in new bodies.
That's what we're doing right now.
And of what form they will take, no one can be sure.
It could be human, but we don't know. It could be a beautiful flower blooming on a plateau. It could be an animal wandering the fields.
But, Meiling, your mom believes that somewhere, someday, we will surely meet again.
So bring back your smile. And there's no use in hurting strangers!" Yeah, listen to your dead mother, you whiny jerk.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, fine."

Naturally, the guy from Europe is talking about how humans are "never satisfied with one place, going to country after country."

I like the guy in Loire pacing back and forward saying "Where am I?! I'm scared! I'm sorry! Save me, mommy!"

"Won't you buy a flower? They're only a gil 5 GEM..." [ Buy, buy! / Yeah, no ] "I don't need no stinkin' flowers. Can't eat 'em."

"I'm Keynes, an economist trying to predict the future of this town. The town's growth index is currently zero percent." I always liked Terranigma's liberal use of whatever history they felt like having.

"Anybody who disobeys Lady Fyda gets their head separated from their body!" Well, that's a nice way of putting it.

"Are you one of the candidates to be the groom?" "Yeah, something like that. So, is the princess cute?" "Why, of course... uh, I'd rather not say anything on the matter!"

I like how after this guy is like "What, you wanna be the groom, too? Heh, that's cute," his name becomes "Sarcastic Guy."

"Hey! You in the back, with the spiky gold hair!"

I like how no one mentions the princess's name is Elle until you talk to an old guy literally right before you see her.

"... ... ... *looks toward king*" "W... Wha?! You gonna ignore me? Pfft! Screw this Elle!"

Speaking of which, I'm Henry XIII, I am, I am. (I wonder if the joke is supposed to be that you write X instead of V? Also, it's spelled "Anri," so I guess it's pronounced the French way? And the castle is where Germany would be, but could also be in France by a stretch... Man, it's just Europe, what do they care. ...Even if they still have Scandinavia and Spain.)

Oh, hey. This Elle comes from "Storkholm," so it's actually kind of significant that Crystalholm got shortened to Crysta. (And no, it's not Stockholm, though that's what I initially thought.) Also, Norfester got shortened to Norfest, despite there clearly being norther.

"Bah! It's locked. Well, duh, it IS a jail."

"What do you want?" [ Niiiiice library! / Oh, nothing ]

Is that a Bible on the table? Scandalous.

Considering he's a thief, the White Wind sure is taking it easy in his escape.

I'm sure Terranigma must have been the first game where you had to push a sleeping guard out of a doorway to get past him.

"Waaah. That was pretty scary." "Meiling! What the hell are you doing here?!" "Hehehe. Bored." Again, jerk.

"You think THAT was "going well"? They kicked me out!"

"A dream about the elder...? ...What a way to wake up."

"I'm not so smart, but I love this country and I love this town, so I'll do whatever I can." Way too honest to be a politician.

I'm too lazy to count, but I'm pretty sure this town doesn't have 48 people in it. If it actually does, though... well, this is Terranigma.

"Since the king disappeared, Loire doesn't care about the border anymore." Jean better be preparing for some serious invasion from Spain.

"Humans are God's children. All are equal before him. Pray, please. Amen." This is probably part of why Bloody Mary has nothing to do with the real Bloody Mary.

"Kaaagome, kagomeee, kaaago no naaaka no toooriii waaa..." Okay, really, what's Bloody Mary doing stealing Japanese children's songs?

English version: "Round, round and round we go. The watcher's in the bush we go round. When oh when will the watcher rise? At the dawning of the long night-time. When the early bird does take flight. Who's in the eyes of the one behind?"
Uh, my version, I guess: "Caged bird, caged bird, trapped in the cage... When, when, when might you flee? At dawn or at night, at night or at dawn? Cranes and turtles have slipped alike... Turn, turn, and who's in behind?"

On a similar note, "Simon Says" is some game about daruma dolls falling over. More like red light, green light.

Yep, it calls her "Bloody Mary." At least I can't blame the translator for further mixing up history.

"Why would they torture you in such a place?
Isn't torture meant for punishing people who have done wrong?"
"All people think this way, it seems.
It was retribution... because my voyage cost the princes of Sylvain their lives...
Even though that wasn't true.
If they say it, humans may very well capture and torture one another to satisfy their desires.
The king of Loire, the queen of Sylvain... All people of power are the same...
Sorry, but I haven't told you my true reasons, either.
When true heroes are born into this world, I believe I can then reveal those secrets.
I embarked on a voyage, and I truly thought that I had found a new continent.
But wherever I lived, it would be with the same red-blooded humans.
When happy, our faces beam. When sad, our tears fall.
To truly say that humanity is a brotherhood, we must cross border after border and make further contact with each other.
That's why I came this far, seeking to broaden the horizons of navigation."

I mentioned humans growing slow earlier, but man, what kind of sorcery did Jean command to get all this done while I was doing that dungeon? I mean, it WAS pretty long, but... Yeah, this game really doesn't think much of monarchies.

"...You're a weirdo. I'm not a princess anymore. You shouldn't even be concerned with me. So why did you come along?" [ You look like the under-Elle / Actually, I didn't want to, geez ]

"But my personality's different?" [ Duh, it's different! / No, I didn't mean that... ] "Totally. Elle was so tender and obedient. You're a lot more, well, pushy." "Why, I never! How rude! As if you're anything near "delicate"!"

You know, I didn't remember much about this game, but I remembered a bunch of key points. You'd think I would have remembered that the first town you go to in America is named "Freedom."

The skateboarding kid is even more amazing than I remember.

I can accept "WAO!" and "my SKATEBO-PERFORMANCE makes people HAPPI-SURU," but exclaiming "kami-sama!" pretty much the same way you would "got-DAMN!" is just awkward.

I like the FASHIONABLE girls that go "NEEEEEEEEEE!" and wink and pose after every line.

"Weeell, this can be our... little... thanks." *smooch* "Ark was given a thank-you kiss! Ark's blood pressure increased by 10!"

The guy who's working on discovering electricity is "Edi." Or okay "Eddy" but you know what the joke is supposed to be.

Okay, wait, what? There's a... statue of Jesus in the "every day is a PARTY" town?

"I LOVE soccer! It's my favorite sport ever! Don't you like soccer?" [ Love it! / Never heard of it ] "What's soccer? Haven't heard of it." "Y... You've NEVER HEARD OF SOCCER?! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!"

"I heard. You said you didn't know about soccer? Ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha."

"Sounds stupid! Silly superstition!" "Wha...! Ark, you don't have a shred of Roman in you!!" Apparently Meiling is trying and failing to fit in with the Freelandians. (Or "roman" means something else somehow instead of it being short for "romance.")

"...But... I want to believe. ...That story." She had to clarify she wasn't talking about aliens or the Jesus statue she was staring at.

"The elder allowed me to come here...
This is a very pretty world. Ark came to fight for this world...
I... knew that Ark would disappear... I saw it in the light of the Crystal Blue in Crystalholm.
When I was with Ark, everything looked pretty. Everyone looked sparkly.
I realized for the first time that Ark not being there was when things were sad...
Ark... I want to be with Ark. Just like the old days..."
Good old subter-Elle. (Even if she's apparently not real.)

"NOO! AI KYANT SPIIK INGRISSH BERI UERU!!" And you all thought it was a bad translation.

"Ooh, what a cute little boy! But you're a bit young to be here. Come by again when you're older. Boy, that's a p-r-o-m-i-s-e!"

"Aha! I should try making a game with you as the protagonist! Sound good? Well, I'd better get to work right away! Buy it once it's done!"

That's weird. This quiz guy seems to be only place in the game that uses four-line textboxes instead of three, which were used everywhere in the English version for obvious reasons. (Somewhat ironically, the quiz guy was removed from the English version, most likely because of the questions on Japanese-only games.)

"There are lots of beautiful women working at Quintet." [ YES / NO ]

"PAN-PAKA-PAAAN!" Yeah, I think this is the reason quizzes seem to be so popular in Japan.

"T-This is so not good... I haven't gone home in a week, gulp. Sorry, honey..."

All Chinese - I mean, Yun Kou people end random sentences with "aru."

"You don't like gruel? How depressing."

"Sir, I have fruit for you! Only 10 GEM, cheap, very cheap! If you don't eat this, you're missing out!" [ I want some! / Don't need it ] "Sir, I don't understand you."

"Unlike you, who've killed innocent people for your own purposes!" "Hohohoho... Innocence is not important. The question is merely necessity." This Wong guy is smooth in his evilness.

"...Is someone down there?" [ Yes! I'm here! / It's nobody! ] "Nope, nobody down here! Probably just your imagination?!"

"Getting locked up in a place like this seems rather unlike you. What on earth happened?" [ Meiling tricked me / I don't wanna say ] "Oh, no big deal. Just playing some with a selfish little girl."

Man, so many phantom subter-Elles. Ark should start considering she was a figment of his imagination all along.

"Elle of the underworld, and the princess Elle... Hey... Ark. Which Elle do you really like, I wonder?" Ark must be unbelievably glad this turned out to be an illusion.

SLAP

"How childish. If you can't think any other way, nobody's going to love you!" About time someone told that gatekeeper what for.

"Wait, hold it! Mr. Wong! What do you mean by that?!" "You really don't understand? You did the very same thing as Ark. He's going to kill all of us in this room." "Why? I... I worked for Wong!" "I don't know. But the wicked will treat human lives like those of worms." "WAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M A MORON!!"

Apparently, Perel is the Dogi of Terranigma. "I came runnin' when I heard a girl scream. Ain't no sense lettin' a lady cry!"

"I think I've met you before. At Loire Castle, I believe...
...No... much longer ago, somewhere else..."
"What an honor... to be remembered by a beautiful girl like yourself.
Swords aren't fit for beauties. How about you let go?"
"Don't joke with me! Draw your sword! I shall not forgive those who chase after the princess!"
"Haven't you heard a word? Why would you go so far?
Nothing makes that girl a princess any longer. Aren't you free now?"
"I don't understand you people obsessed with appearances.
There are things that are to be protected. That's why I fight, and that alone."
"Things to be protected...? Aha. Go ahead. I won't mind getting in your way."
"...What does that mean? Wasn't it your duty to kill us?"
"Change of heart... That's all.
So go... Protect the princess."

*sleep outside in Polynesia* "Ark got cooked... Ark's manliness increased by 10!"

Really, who would ever worship a guy named "Beruga"?

"When I grow up, I wanna be a White Believer and work for Master Beruga!"

Robo-Berugas? "The beginning of the end. The end of everything. Let's be friends. I'm Beruga. I'm really just this crazy old man. Please dote over me more."

I forgot that the password that Yomi knows because he's just that good was "BLOODY MARY." They really knew how hard they made her.

"My former creations. Precious, don't you think?" Yeah. Adorable zombies, Beruga.

"Unnecessary humans die, and only the truly necessary humans live. That's all I'm saying."

"Ark... You have done well leading the world thus far.
Now, Beruga will build for us a wonderful world.
Your duty has concluded. Rest easy."
"...Huh... I'm... dead...?
What have I... been fighting for all this time...?
Have I been fighting to create the kind of world Beruga was talking about?
Somebody tell me... I... don't want to die like this..."
"Yes, Ark. You cannot die like this.
You exist outside the wheel of fate, and are capable of changing it... This world needs you.
Your body will be returned to me. Now, get up..."

"Humans are worthless creatures. They bring about only pain through their greed...
And this worthless ceremony only continues so that some may rise above others.
I've had enough of humans. If only they would disappear, peace could come to this planet."
< evil-elle makes a flashy portal thing >
"What are you doing?!"
"I have become a god... A god of death!!"

....!

Wait, what? The flower girl actually says her flowers will "make shy girls and penguins smile?" Are those really the two groups she's trying to market to?

Too lazy to translate the whole thing, but the scientist on Air's Rock who's waiting for the end of the world and complaining about pollution also mentions how they don't worship the gods anymore.

"A voice rang out in Ark's head.
It sounded just like Ark's..."
"You have always lived in danger.
You fought monsters, and no matter how wounded you became, you would not die.
Do you understand why?
It is because you are the legendary hero..."
< dark-ark appears >
"I am the messenger of the Lightside. And you are the messenger of the Darkside.
It is said that once in a lifetime, humans will meet someone identical to them.
The human "Ark" exists as two people. One on the surface, and one below.
Now that Beruga has appeared, the earth is going awry.
Were we to compare the history of the earth to a clock, this would be the 13th hour.
An impossible time... no, a time that simply shouldn't be. The flow of time is restarting.
Now, close your eyes, and think deeply... about the earth..."

(Intermittent events I didn't retranslate:
"Chapter 4: Resurrection of the Hero."
Surface-Elle looks after baby Ark in Storkholm.
Subter-Elle comes in, takes the baby, and tries to kill him in the place where Pandora's Box was.
Subter-Elle is shocked to see surface-Elle and Ark gets power from Ra, Liem, Kumari, etc. and grows up again.
Yomi tells subter-Elle to kill Ark, then tries to do so himself.
Subter-Elle sacrifices herself to kill Yomi.
Ark wonders if he would have lived peacefully if he hadn't opened Pandora's Box.)

"There is a saying in this village.
Someday, a hero will arrive... And he will defeat the messenger of darkness by a miracle...
To think that he was you...
The legendary weapons are within this box.
When Columbus traveled the world with his ship, I believe he found them.
But he feared how they might be used, and hid them in a remote village.
So the villagers served as guardians of the treasure...
The destruction of this village and Columbus's torture were all the fault of these weapons...
Having failed in their duty, the villagers' spirits became wolves and continued to guard.
The blood of many has been spilled over these weapons. And only you can use them, Ark."

(Intermittent events I didn't retranslate:
The light Yomi is in the box and gives Ark the legendary spear and armor.
Ark raids Beruga's base with all his friends. Beruga gets sucked into a propeller. Royd and Fyda get left behind.
Ark escapes on a bird to Air's Rock, where the scientist says it's the end of the world.
Columbus waits at the hole Ark came to the surface from, which Beruga's airship crashed into and reopened.
Ark jumps in, naturally, and returns to Crystalholm.)

"Ark. Gaze into the sky.
The flow of Crystal Blue is beautiful, is it not?
You... no, all the humans of the underworld are copies made out of this same material.
Copies who have completed their duty return to their original form to float through the sky.
Through its dual wills, the earth goes through a cycle of evolution and decay.
The will of light gives life, and the will of darkness destroys that life which is not needed.
And the will of darkness has decided that the time for your destruction is now.
Ark. Your duty has concluded.
Now, come with me to the Gaia Stone."

"This is the Gaia Stone. You are now inside the continents of the underworld.
Did you know that this infinite corridor represents the history of all living beings?
Creation can give form. Destruction will do away with it.
From the moment this planet was given form, it has promised living things an unhappy fate.
Soon, light and shadow shall become one. Places without light will have shadow. Places without shadow will have light.
To make way for the new earth, you and I must both be given form, and must fight."

"It's finally over. Dark Gaia's power has been sealed away."
"Who...? Just who are you?"
"Me? I'm the messenger of light. You could also say I'm your "original."
Dark Gaia made you so that you could make the earth his.
He took my memories from when he was last sealed and made you as a copy of me.
No, not just you... the whole village of Crystalholm.
When you were on the surface, didn't you see an identical village?
The world moves via the balance between light and dark.
You noticed that at some point.
And now, the power of darkness sleeps. Our duty is done.
Now, to return to each other's worlds..."

"This is my hometown, huh?
It's got some great houses, I guess, but if my friends can't come back, there's no point...
Now that I think about it, the surface Elle lost her town, too.
Lost her friends in the village, and her parents were killed...
That's why she said she couldn't speak anymore.
I think I know Elle's feelings a little better now.
I didn't think having nowhere to go back to would be so lonely..."
"What's up? You sound like you've lost heart."
"Well... I was just wondering what the heck I'd been fighting for.
The elder told me to go to the surface to revive the world.
Of course, the world did get revived, and civilization advanced...
But it was all just part of the elder's... Dark Gaia's scheme...
I just feel like I've brought sadness to the whole planet."
"Heh, I didn't think our Ark would have such a strong sense of duty.
But, really, Ark! You've carried out a mission, the very creation of heaven and earth.
Humans would call you a god.
So long as there's a world and living things, of course bad things are gonna happen.
But for all the bad things, there's always just as many good things.
Anyway, Ark. Journeying with you has been really fun."
"You're a good guy, Yomi..."
"Hah! About time you figured that out, huh?"
"Hey, Yomi. Can I ask you something?
You've been with me for my whole journey.
Up to the very last battle, you've helped me from afar.
And I didn't ask you until now... but what ARE you?"
"What, you want to know that?
Ark, you've met countless kinds of creatures along the way, haven't you?
Birds with wings, four-legged animals, gilled swimmers, even mermaids.
All creatures are one. Everyone went through a cycle of evolution to get their current form.
In short, my form is the form you have when it hasn't been decided yet.
Humans evolved to stand on the earth with two feet and use tools.
But civilization has advanced so much that they've come to rely on machines for everything.
At this rate, humans might just go back to my form."
"Ha! Simply put, Yomi is the future of humankind!"
"Anyway, Ark. I've got to get going."
"H-Hey! Where are you gonna go, Yomi?"
"Back to sleep.
I'll be back in this world next time another kid like Ark shows up.
Well, see ya, bro!"
< yomi disappears, spirits surround ark >
"Can you hear me?
I am Light Gaia, the soul of the earth's exterior.
As Dark Gaia has been sealed, Crystalholm... no, the whole underworld must disappear.
The surface world should slowly return to its original state.
You are the hero that arrives when the earth is in danger...
That same blood flows through Light Gaia and Dark Gaia.
And now, your duty is fulfilled. Soon, your body will disappear.
For one last day, I will let you enjoy Crystalholm in its final moment of peace."

"Huh? Elder? There's no one like that in this village, Ark. Are you half-asleep or what?"

"The old fortune-teller said this pond reflected the future. But it doesn't reflect anything. Not even my face..."

"Ark. Ark, can you hear me? I've come to tell you something important...
I know I tried to kill you as a baby in Storkholm...
In Crystalholm, the elder's orders are absolute.
But when I saw you grown up, I understood.
We are only ourselves. What's important is to live naturally.
Soon, Crystalholm will disappear.
But, if we are bound by the threads of fate, we will surely meet again, somewhere in time.
Ark. Until then, goodbye... for a little while."
Ark fell into a deep sleep...
And Ark had his final dream.
A dream where he became a bird, and looked upon the now-grown world...

"Comiiing!"
(Who could it be, at this hour...? It's past midnight...)
"Who is it?"

Now playing Final Fantasy V: Girugamesh's Revenge.

Butts's secret spy name is "?", huh??? Man, people are just all over the place with how much they feel like repeating punctuation.

"Kue! Kue-kue!" What's that, Boko? Square and Enix, merge? Don't be silly! ("Sukueni" is Japan-short for "Square-Enix" and I'm bad at making jokes.)

"Think we could catch a ride?" "They're PIRATES!!"

"YES! Anchors aweigh! We are OFF!" *excited movements and fist pumping* "...Butz, what are you doing I mean what happened?"

I like how similar "[Untie them] quickly, would ya?!" is to "Won't you die already?!" in Japanese. Either way, I'm sure Faris's men would reply "ai... ai-ai, saa!"

The instant you step into town, the pirates are all "SAKEEE, SAKEEEEE!!"

"If you're just loitering around... TORYAAAH!!" *girl hops on counter and kicks you out of the tutorial house* I don't think I ever knew about that. Awesome.

"So let's protect the crystals!" "Your memory's back?" "Nope, but let's get protectin'!"

Faris being GASP A GIRL isn't really any less nonsensical in Japanese. No surprise there.

"She really gives me such a man-ly feeling, though..."

You know, I can only imagine what Faris jumping over a ravine, falling off a cliff, climbing back up the cliff, tossing a rope to Butz and Galuf, and them quickly tying the rope to two suddenly-existing posts would look like in 3D.

Considering he's supposed to be Magissa's husband or something, I like how she's just like "Hey, you! Your turn!" before calling Forza.

As a note, "Hiryuu" just means "flying dragon." Yeah.

THIS MAKES THREE... ONE MORE, AND THE SEAL WILL BE BROKEN... FA FA FA...

DOHAHAHA! Nice laugh, Iron-Claw-sama.

"Bookshelf: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! ...I-Is that Ifrit?! S-Scary!!"

Mid's sprite-flip dancing in front of Cid pains Cid so. (Again, not sure I'd want to see it in 3D.)

"Kululu"? I'm not sure how you get either Krile or Cara out of that, but moreso the latter.

Yes, our ship getting pulled into a whirlpool seconds after we arrived in town means we were very "anrakki." You jerk.

The game makes Galuf's returning to the party (after being separated for less than a minute) so triumphant.

"Stuuupiiid! Made you look!" This is something I'd expect out of S, not Square.

What exactly does Cid do with the airship he's never seen before to make it start working? Because he just kind of stood in front of one of the random gears and I guess poked it or something.

"This is the legendary airship I read about in all those old books, maybe!"

"Butts! You've returned to Licks! I've... been waiting all this time... Hey! When your journey's over, can I tell you something?"

"Lenna... Tomorrow, I'm finally going to ride a Hiryuu, with father!" "PAPU PAPUU" That's rude, Lenna.

"Looking at everyone from up in the sky, it'll be like they're all Levitated... ...Wait, that isn't right, is it? Toad-ed? Teleport-ed? Oh, right... Mini..."

I'm sure Cid and Mid's use of cloning to work more rapidly would look truly amazing in 3D, however.

If his Mode 7 unsealing scene is any indication, Exdeath is a huge fan of disco raves. Fa fa fa.

Wait, did they really call Galuf's world the "dark world" in any English versions? I don't remember that.

"This single enemy we keep fighting keeps dropping Tents. I'm getting tired of carrying all these Tents. Don't you think we should use a Tent? Tent Tent Tent Tent Tent."

I like how even when you beat the guy, he drops a chest that just goes "GAS!!" when you open it.

Ho-yaaah!
Hoo-haaah!
< galuf wins >
D-Daaang!
L-Let's try something like this again, sometime that's not today!
Don't forget me, now! Peh!

Ahahaha, Butz lying on his face and sliding past these guys to avoid being seen is the best.

Ha! Yes, I was waiting behind this door all this time!
Good thing you came, because if you hadn't, I don't know what I'd do with all my anxiety!
Let's do this!!
< battle >
Man, I suck...
< haste >
I'm no match for four on one...
< protect >
Just a sitting duck and a punching bag...
< shell >
...'cept all of that was a lie, duh!
< more battling >
Hoo, boy!
I just remembered something REALLY important I gotta attend to!!
Don't worry, I'll be back! Count on it!

I wonder how they came up with THE HIRYUU GRASS IS THE BOSS. Couldn't think of anything that would be guarding it?

"You crazy, sistah! Whatchoo doin' eatin' Hiryuu Grass?!"

A great blue sky, a wide blue ocean... I feel fantastic! Ain't nothing gonna break my stride!
WHAAAT?! Who's THIS now?!
< battling, enkidu appears >
Well, aren't YOU late!
Enkidu: "That old coot's a real pain..."
Just help me out, would ya?!
< gilgamesh gets beaten after enkidu >
Oh, Enkiduuu!
I'm gonna leave the rest to you, 'kay?!
< turns around >
Uh... Enkidu...?
Hey, don't just leave me behind!!
< battle ends >
Gurk! You're comin' with me, under the seeea!
< gilgamesh and galuf get knocked off, galuf hangs on >
Galuf: "Waugh!!"
WHAT?! You didn't fall?! Seriously?!
I won't soon forget this, you blubbering glub... blub...
< gilgamesh floats away >

"The Patchouli-Robo fleet is just a decoy! We'll sneak into the Yagokoro Daioh Barrier Tower with this escape pod submarine! I'll go to the engine room below, you destroy Cindleman the antenna at the top! Oh, and take this communication unit Hisohisou* so we can have a dramatic scene."

* "Hisohiso" is a whispering sound and "sou" is grass. Man, it's been a while since I had to explain a pun. Also, it's "whisperweed" in the GBA translation. Come on, didn't you guys think "whisperoot," or are you just too lame to combine words?

"Don't disappear like this useless Warrior of Dawn...!" "KAGU - XEZAAAAAT!! Xezat, you fool... Going it alone, trying to look cool..."

It's actually kind of sad how Hourai Chapter probably does a better job of making you care about Kaguya than FFV Xezat.

"Let's go, Galuf." "We can't." "Why not?" "I'm waiting for Xezat." "Ah!"

Whoa, I never knew about that before. The only other place you can go with the submarine leads to a Chocobo forest with a Chocobo that Butz can't ride because it's female. I think I know where she ends up...

Nice use of the triumphant fanfare when you break the illusion on Exdeath's castle. It's like "Now the walls are vaguely unseeettliiing!"

Empty...
"Gilgamesh!"
Fa fa fa! Guess what? I've got the contents of that chest right here!!
< butz dances with him, then they battle >
You know, this kinda thing...
Fightin' with you over something or another...
What is this, our fourth time...?
< flash >
Well, for some reason, it makes me so happy!
< frogsong >
By the way...
What of that energetic old man who was with you guys?
"He... fought with Exdeath..."
...I... see...
< timeslip >
...
< waves of sound >
Welp, time to get serious on you now, methinks!
Gilgamesh, transfooorm!
< he does >
I've heard this here Excalibur is quite the sword...
Let's test if it's true... on you!!
< he tries it a few times >
Have at you!
< a few more >
W-What is this tomfoolery?!
< a few more >
Is this not the strongest of swords?! Come ON!!
< a few more >
Exdeath: "Gilgamesh!"
...
Exdeath: "You are clearly of no more use to me!"
Exdeath: "And, as such, are fit for the Cleft of Dimension!"
W-WHAAA?!
I-I'm sooorry! Anything but that, please!
Exdeath: "Silence!"
< to the cleftryinth with you >
Whyyyyy!!

"What's he saying...?" "That he loves her..." "Whoa!"

"TURTLEEEEE!!" (Also insert "kame-hameha" joke.)

Man, there's seriously a helmet called "Crown of Thorns" that drains your health? Seriously?

"Piano MASTER! ...Actually, one more."

"Lenna! Where are you going with that knife?! ...Dude, no way."

Butz's reaction upon stepping into sunken Walse Tower: "Babobabobabo!"

I see you, you beasts!
Hi-yah!
Hurrrngh!
< a while >
...Butz?
Why, that IS Butz!
Why didn't you say so?!
You know, this place is loaded with monsters, and I can't find the exit...
I almost feel like crying some very manly tears...
But never mind that! How on earth did YOU get here?
Butz: "Mutter-mutter, such and such."
I seeeee! Well, that means I can go back now!
Say, how does us five going on an adventure sometime sound?
Butz: "..."
A-Ah, I... I see, of course...
Well, should you live, shall we meet again!
No, I feel it in my guts! We WILL meet again!
And when we do, I hope I'll be a friend of yours, too...
I mean... I said nothing!
See yaaa!

Necrophobia: "This light... I shall never hand it over to you!"
Necrophobia: "These are my four barriers!"
Necrophobia: "With them, I am invincible!"
Necrophobia: "Can you yet defeat me?"
< barriers down >
Necrophobia: "M-My ultimate barrier..."
Necrophobia: "There is no other choice!"
Necrophobia: "You shall now taste the full extent of my power!!"
< it isn't that great, but guess who shows up anyway >
Butz: "G-Gilgamesh!!"
Looks like I'm just in time!
Thought I'd left you behind?
Man, I'd go down in history looking like the king of lame jerks!
Necrophobia: "Hmph... What clumsiness is this...?"
Necrophobia: "I'll have to deal with you first!"
You're seem to think you're pretty good!
But can you really defeat...
Gilgamesh the Greatest?!
< gilgamesh turns around and starts fighting necrophobia >
Krile!
Your grandpappy...
Man, was he a tough one!
Krile: "...Gramps..."
Faris!
Even if you don't fall in love or anything, you should try being a little more womanly!
Faris: "..."
Lenna!
You're always so good to animals...
Don't ever forget to show off that kindness!
Lenna: "..."
And Butz!
I really wanted to go at you one more time...
I wanted us to duke it out one on one, fair and square!
You've found some heckuva good friends, you know!
Butz: "...Gilgamesh..."
Necrophobia: "Die!!"
< flare >
What's that?!
That line's supposed to be from me to YOU!!
< self-destruct >

"Whyyyyy?! I had the power of Void... What IS Void...?! UGOGOGOGO!!" (Also I should have said it earlier but I bet they went with Void to make a subtle programming joke that would be less obvious than Null.)

"I am Neo-Exdeath! All memories, all creatures, all dimensions shall disappear into nothing... And so I, too, shall disappear... into eternity!!"