There Was Once An Ordinary Virgin: Part One

A long, long tale from 2ch about a particularly stubborn person and his surprising fortune.

How long are we talking? Well, though not all of them are incredibly lengthy, the summary site breaks it up into a staggering 24 parts, spanning four threads. I'll personally be posting it in four parts, but also marking the individual sections.


[ The Beginning ]

He got into college well enough, made friends well enough.
Watched anime well enough, played H games well enough.
Enjoyed his job well enough, and enjoyed being active in his club.
And he lived a happy life in that way.

He had little in the way of things in which he was better than any other.
But whatever he tried, he could do it. A handy person, in a way.
Rather tall at 178 centimeters, and fairly muscly on top of that.

But his life had nothing in the way of a lover.

It was when he entered his second year of college.
He was headed to meet with his culture club, as usual.

This club had it all, from Coolguy Girlhavers to fatso nerds.
A small group, but one full of personality.
That was the kind of club he loved.
He had enjoyed his life immensely last year thanks to these people.
He felt a bit lonely since some of them had graduated last year, but his heart danced to think he would make new friends this year.

He opened the door, and saw four beautiful women.

The girls appeared to be new recruits brought in by Coolguy Girlhaver.
He was told that they were friends of Coolguy's girlfriend.

It wasn't often that all the members got together, but it had previously been six men to two women.
And it was very apparent that the boys in the room were 37 times more tense than usual.
Even Dimwit Queen and Sister Big-Boobs were at roughly 92x excitement over these four.

He was glad that the new members were pretty girls, as he had secretly wished.
But he wondered if love would only stir up trouble among them.

Now, a brief introduction of the girls.

Erika Shishido, Second-Year
The primary heroine of the story.
An appearance between "pretty" and "cute."
Graceful and proper conduct.
Long black hair. An innocent princess.
Thus, he has assigned her as an alias the most princessly name he knows.

Ueto, Second-Year
An energetic girl resembling Aya Ueto.
Her hair is black and also resembles Aya's.
Normal height.

Glasses, Second-Year
A pretty girl with a brown bob and thin square glasses that make her look smart.
Appears cool, but has told approximately three people about her nerdiness.
Taller than Ueto, shorter than Erika.

Chihuahua, Second-Year
Has a small, round, childlike face.
Quickly starts talking familiarly with others.
The girl you want to protect most.
Gets a little angry when you bring up her height, but she's more cute than scary when mad.

Lastly, these four were all best friends from the same private girls' school.

Afterward, the club got two more first-year members, and it began its usual activities.

His worry was needless.
The four were wise and good-natured, and would talk with anyone.
The men tried to court them more than expected, but one would suppose they were used to it.
One guy who made it up to confessing was uneventfully turned down.

He didn't know it, but the girls had been a famous group at the school back in their first year.
Even so, they kept a friendly closeness.

He had fallen for Erika as well, but he didn't feel good enough for her.
Thus he decided he would be fine having her as a friend.

Incidentally, the two in the group he was most intimate with were Coolguy Girlhaver Naohito Fujiki, and fatso nerd Itaru Hashida.

Itaru lent him and Naohito H games, and the two were led down that path.

They professed to being anime fans, but for some reason, playing these games remained their secret.

A month and a half passed after the girls joined the club.
The new members were perfectly intimate with the club now, and he enjoyed his life greatly.
Ueto enjoyed herself with Dimwit Queen and Sister Big-Boobs.
Glasses spread her nerd ways throughout the club.
Chihuahua was played with and admired.
Erika was always smiling, an oasis for all the members.

One day, near the end of spring.
He received a phone call from Erika.
He didn't get many phone calls from Erika, and they were always for club matters.

Erika: "Hello, Satoh? Is now a good time?"
Him: "Yeah, I'm good. What's up?"
Erika: "Well, I need you for something. Can I come by your room?"
Him: "Sure, but what?"
Erika: "You'll know once I'm there. Please?"
Him: "Does it have to be now?"
Erika: "Yes, if you can..."
Him: "All right, I'm free. But I'm at home, so it'll take a little bit."
Erika: "Okay, I'll wait."

He arrived at his room about 20 minutes later.

His: "I'm here!"
Erika: "Oh, er, hi..."
Him: "Sorry you had to wait..."
Erika: "N-Nah, thanks."
Him: "So, what is it?"

Erika didn't look very energetic.

Erika: "Um, Satoh..."
Him: "Yeah?"
Erika: "You know, I..."
Him: "What?"

He finally noticed how much he was anticipating what she'd say next.
Erika hung her head.

Erika: "...Since we first met, I've been kind of interested in you..."
Erika: "Just looking at you, I liked you more and more..."
Erika: "And then talking to you, well..."

Erika looked up.

Erika: "What I'm saying is... I love you, Satoh...!"
Erika: "Please, date me!"

That day, he made his first girlfriend.
Two months later, he still remembers her confession clearly.

He was truly happy afterward.
A matter of course, given he had gotten a girlfriend on top of enjoying his club so.

Erika took to calling him, Takumi Satoh, by "Takkun."
He responded by calling her "Erika-chan."

He was warned that if he made any of her three friends cry, he would be promptly punched.

One day, he invited Erika to his room for the first time.
This was also when he realized how close their houses were.
He gave the place as much of a clean as he could.

And she arrived.

...With her three friends.

Erika: "Sorry... I was just a little nervous to come over alone..."
Him: "Ah, no, it's fine!"

She was a humble girl, it seemed.

After the four had laid waste to his house, they left satisfied.
He was surprised that even Chihuahua went rummaging through his closet.

Upon leaving, they told him "Well, see you again!"
He vowed he would never again let anyone but Erika come into his house.

The four lived very near by, so he couldn't even send them off.

And, several days later, he visited Erika's house instead.

He was initially surprised by her apartment.
It was very big. And he couldn't find the way in.
Hiding his unrest, he called Erika.

Him: "Erika-chan? I... think I'm here, but how do I get in?"
Erika: "Um, press that dial there..."

Following Erika's guidance, he made it to her room.

Erika: "Hellooo!"
Him: "Excuse me!"
The Three: "Hellooo!"
Him: "I KNEW IT!"

He hadn't anticipated it from the outside appearance, but it was a very large room.
Though impolite, he asked what the rent was, and it was three or four times his own.
And there were three other people living in the same apartment in different rooms.

He had suspected it before, but the girls truly were princesses.

The sofa he sat on was very soft.
He felt a significant gap in status, but in talking with the four and playing games, he was used to it by the time he left.

And thus he affirmed his friendly relationship with the girls.

Afterward, he and Erika continued to date, visiting each other on occasion.
The other three were present at times, and not at others.

And, on some occasion of him visiting Erika...

The two had their first kiss.

It was his first kiss.
And surprising him greatly, with the exception of messing around with other girls, it was Erika's first as well.

As it was also Erika's first time dating anyone.

Hearing this, he was hesitant how to proceed.
He truly did love Erika.
Of course, he wanted to do such things.

But he felt conflicted over whether he should do them to Erika.
He was in no hurry, and did not move too quickly.

But as the two became more familiar, he began to see his love for Erika.

Is this what being with a girl is like?
Seeing panties under short skirts, being leaned on with breasts pressing against him.

But he held himself back each time.

His stupid little sis was more open, but what was the difference between them?
Perhaps it was a matter of breast size.

But the patience of a virgin is not to be underestimated.
He sealed away his passions before Erika.

In the beginning of August, his club went to the beach.
The girls wore swimsuits.

Big-Boobs > Erika = Chihuahua > Glasses > Ueto > Dimwit

They simply had to be ranked as such.

It was the mission of the boys to protect the girls from any flirters.
On the other hand, Coolguy Naohito was continually flirted with.

Erika's swimsuit was beautiful, and he enjoyed the beach greatly.

His wonderful days continued.

He was the kind to just enjoy things for what they are, no matter what.
Despite harsh things, through all his years in school, he would stick out his chest and say he loved his life.

On top of that, he found his life to be more enjoyable now than ever.

Sometimes he would praise her.
Whenever it was only two of them (that is, him and Glasses, Ueto, or Chihuahua) and he was asked about Erika, he would immediately reply "Oh, she's an angel!"

And then: today.

...Is anyone reading, though?

I am!

While hanging out at fatso nerd Itaru's house, he was asked to go to McDonald's to get them a late lunch.
Itaru would hear nothing of eating too much of that stuff making you fat.
Somehow, though, he felt he liked Itaru fat.

As they were prepared to leave with their bag of takeout, he sighted familiar faces in the back of the restaurant.

Getting closer, he saw they were the four princesses.
They were hanging out together as usual.
As it was long past lunch and there weren't many people, they stood out from a distance.

Why had he only known about these eye-catching four for a mere year?
The school was a big place, he supposed.

He approached, hearing parts of their conversation.

Ueto: "Man, Erika, how long you gonna keep up the charade?"

Erika: "I dunno... Honestly, it's a real pain in the ass playing nice..."

A little lower than he knew it, but it was the voice he loved speaking.
But she couldn't be saying that, could she?

Chihuahua: "Speaking of Takumi, he was calling you an "angel," Erika..."
Erika: "Haha, seriously?"
Glasses: "Yeah, I heard that too!"
Ueto: "He totally said it!"
Erika: "Really? Pfft... Man, what're you even saying, Takumi...?"

He was deathly embarrassed.

He decided not to call to them, but to listen a little more.

Ueto: "Haha, I thought you'd be glad!"
Erika: "Like I should be happy! "Ooh, my angel!" What a virgin..."
Erika: "Seriously, doesn't he scream virgin to you, too?"
The Three: "Huhhh?"

So it was all the collaboration of gallant girls preserving a virgin's fantasies...
You're gonna make me cry...

That was his limit.
It seemed like the girls were flat-out ridiculing him.

Not to be insulted, he puffed his chest and approached the girls.
But of course, he was already being insulted.

Erika: "God, he's just such a paaai...!"

Erika was the first to notice him.
Her surprise was evident.

Erika: "...Takkun."

The others swung around.
They were all silent.

A silly smile came to his lips, and he said.

Him: "Ahaha... Yeah, virgin, that's me."

But the only smile he could manage was a bitter one.

Ueto: "Uh, well, you see..."
Him: "Um, Ueto, it's been fun. Thanks."
Erika: "Ah... Um..."
Him: "Shishido, too. Been fun, right?"
Erika: "..."
Him: "Huh, who knew I was the talk of the town?"
Him: "Thanks, you three."
The Three: "..."
Him: "Well, don't worry. I won't tell anyone else about, you know, playing nice."
Him: "Bye!"

He heard Ueto calling him to stop, but he did not turn around.

It was a relief that the other customers didn't pay it any mind.
It was for the best that there had been no raising of voices or roughness.

He took the McDonald's to Itaru's house, said he wasn't feeling well, left Itaru's meal, and went home.
Itaru was worried for his clearly downtrodden friend.

Honestly, Ueto sounds like the best one for trying to stop you.
Date Ueto!
A girl like her would be better for OP than girls who talk behind his back.

Isn't Ueto the same, though?
And if anything else happens, what would I do about her?

Itaru: "Hey, ladies man, you can tell me anything that's on your mind."
Him: "...Uh... sure."
Itaru: "Well, you're not saying anything..."
Him: "Um, well... Let's say maybe "ladies man" isn't very accurate anymore..."
Itaru: "...I see. Well, tell me if you feel like going into more detail."
Him: "...Thanks."

And so he left the house.

Returning home, he felt utterly empty.

And, looking back at the days spent with her, he decided to talk about it on 2ch.

He loved, and the prim and proper Erika Shishido should have loved him back.

But when that cover was peeled back, she was not Erika, only Aja Kong.
[Takumi got her pseudonym from pro wrestler Aja Kong, whose real name is Erika Shishido.]

While he was terribly shocked, he had a duty to fulfill.

But he didn't know what to think of them going so far as putting on a show only to ridicule him.

And despite those feelings he didn't understand, he couldn't deny his grateful and loving feelings.

Perhaps he still hasn't sorted everything out.

And so the curtains closed on the best days of his life.

The ordinary virgin, in the end, was no more than that.

    ̄ ̄ ̄二二ニ=-
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                         / ,_O_,,-''"'; ', :' ;; ;,'
                     (.゛ー'''", ;,; ' ; ;;  ':  ,'
                   _,,-','", ;: ' ; :, ': ,:    :'  THE
                _,,-','", ;: ' ; :, ': ,:    :'     END

Are you getting worried texts from the girls or what?

Just turned on my phone.

Since 7 AM, I've gotten:
19 phone calls from Erika
1 text from Erika
1 text from Itaru

What's the text say?

I'm getting calls about once every 20 minutes.

Erika's text says "Answer the phone."

19 phone calls is not an ordinary thing...
Is something wrong with your brain?

^ Given the situation, I wouldn't say that.
She seems to be pretty considerate.
And it's reasonable to be worried if he's going to commit suicide.

Geez, I'm not killing myself!

Got another call, but I turned off the phone without answering.

Answer the phone! Face up to reality!
I'm a virgin too, though...

Just answer it!
And ask for an explanation!
Are you scared to or what...?

I kinda am, honestly.
She might get me even more depressed.
And I'm scared of her apologizing and asking forgiveness.

Even if she says she wants to start over, I don't think it's possible.
Pray that things can go back to just being friends.
Don't even think about letting it happen again! Sauce: me.

If you don't answer today, it'll only be scarier tomorrow.
The more you put it off, the worse.
Answer now, while there's still time.

What's the club gonna do?

^^ Fine... I turned on my phone.

^ I don't want to give up on it.
I've still got duties there.
Even if the four are there.

Text first, then?

^ Text Erika?

You're probably being suspicious of everything, but I think you should look on this with a more accepting heart.

In some parts, it seems like they really liked you.
But even if they really are foul devils, let your friends in the club assist you.

It really seems like you have a phobia of women.
They aren't always scheming...

^^ An accepting heart, huh...
Well, I said I wouldn't tell anyone about it.
And I don't want to mess up the club with this.

^ I'm trying my best not to think of all women as being the same.

You know, Erika might have just been showing off in front of her friends.
So don't be so sure it was 100% genuine.
Erika never said she had any ill will.
It doesn't mean that Erika doesn't still like you under the pretending, right?

It wouldn't have been a problem to begin with, but...
Learning that who I trusted in was just made up, and they'd been making fun of me behind my back has me unsure of my feelings.

It appears there's far more saying I can still start over than those saying to stop kidding myself.
But can I do it?

That's all up to you.
First thing in the morning, call her or text her and meet in person.

Just answer the phone!
Or call her yourself!
And tell her what you're thinking!
You know she's nice, don't you?
Then think about it afterward.

Calling would certainly be more interesting, at least...

But I'm not calling her.
I'm not giving in.

I got three more calls since turning on my phone.
I'll answer if any more come, but I don't think they will...

Oh, and I haven't replied to Itaru.

If you're going to start a thread about it, do something about it.
Talk it out, whatever you need to do.
And be sure to report!

Generally, if they kiss you, doesn't that mean they like you...?

I'm in a state where I could see her kissing a guy she doesn't like.

Got a call.

Should I continue writing like I was at the start?
Or just normally?


I was getting kind of fond of writing like that...

Write how you like, OP.
I like your style, personally.

Wait while I write this up.

He had asked 2ch for help, and gained the bravery to face Erika again.
Erika had been calling him again and again.

Him: "...Hello."
Erika: "Ah... Takumi?..."

Erika didn't seem to call him "Takkun" anymore.

Him: "What time do you think it is?"
Erika: "You fell asleep right after getting home, didn't you?"
Him: "..."
Erika: "I'm right, aren't I?"
Him: "If you knew that, then why'd you keep calling?"
Erika: "So I could wake you up?"

Erika seemed to be perfectly calm.

Him: "So you're not faking anymore, huh?"
Erika: "Well sure, now that you found me out..."
Him: "...So, what?"
Erika: "...Ah, well, can you come to my place?"
Him: "Huh? Now? What time do you think it is?"
Erika: "Like I said, weren't you sleeping?"
Him: "So, why?"
Erika: "I want to talk to you in person."

Him: "Can you say it now?"
Erika: "In person's better."
Him: "Fine, you can come by, Shishido."
Erika: "Ah..."
Him: "Hm?"
Erika: "...Won't I be a bother?"
Him: "Huh?"
Erika: "You come to my place, and you can leave as soon as you want."

Him: "Well, but I'm afraid I might be attacked by some guy on the street..."
Erika: "Yeah ****ing RIGHT!"

Indeed, his former angel screamed "Yeah ****ing RIGHT!"

Erika: "It's really close, okay? I'll pay for a taxi if you want..."
Him: "...Alright, I'll go. No taxi, though."
Erika: "Hm..."
Him: "I'll be late, though."
Erika: "Why's that?"
Him: "You just wait, I've got things to do. But I am going, so don't call me."
Erika: "...Alright... You better come!"

And so he was invited to Erika's room.

Written with considerable detail.
Thus, it's late. I'm the worst at typing.
Sorry to keep you waiting nearly an hour, but it was an important report.
Now what to do...

Are you going now?
Even if you get sad, don't yell at her or get violent.
I think you'll be fine on that front, though...

I'm going.
And I'm not going to get violent.

Man, I don't wanna go...

Should I have people bump this?
Or make a new thread?

New thread sounds good.

As long as "Shishido" is in the thread title, I'll know.

Got it.

If it's kept bumped, I'll keep posting.
If it dies, I'll make a new thread with the same title.

Who knows how this will turn out or how long it'll last, so don't feel pressured to bump it.

Well, off I go.

[ The Continuation ]

I'm back.

Thanks for bumping.

But I'm way too tired, so I'm sleeping.
Really sorry.

Thanks for bumping, those who were here yesterday and who came today.
I just got out of the bath, so I'll start writing.

After spending about an hour reporting to 2ch, he went to Erika's house.

Of course he figured he had made her wait far too long, but he drove over in no hurry.

Several minutes after leaving the house, he arrived at Erika's apartment.
As usual, he put in her room number and pushed the button.

Erika: "God, you're late."
Him: "I said I would be."

The entrance door opened.
He rode the elevator up and reached Erika's room.
She came out.

Erika: "So damn late."
Him: "Want me to leave?"

Erika sighed in annoyance, and said "Come in."
His angel wouldn't have sighed like that.
Was she really the same person?
He would have believed she was a twin sister.

Him: "Excuse me!"
The Three: "Hellooo!"
Him: "..."

There hadn't been any scary guys on the way, but scary girls, indeed.

Him: "And why aren't you alone this late at night?"
Erika: "..."
Ueto: "Sorry about that."
Glasses: "Sit down."

Him: "Whatever..."
Him: "So, is this where we talk about breaking up?"

He knew, of course, that he most likely hadn't been called over so late to talk about breaking up.

Erika: "You know that sounds ridiculous, don't you?"
Him: "..."
Erika: "Tactless."
Ueto: "Erikaaa..."

He still wasn't used to Erika's tone.

Him: "Never thought I'd hear you saying that."
Him: "Well, not like I wasn't prepared to be abused..."

Chihuahua came to bring everyone drinks.
He was given Aquarius, which he so enjoyed.

Chihuahua: "Here..."
Him: "Hm... thanks."

He took a sip and broke the ice.

Him: "So... what?'
Erika: "..."

Him: "...I'll just drink this and leave."
Erika: "...No."
Him: "Hey, you said I could leave when I wanted."
Him: "It is pretty late..."
Erika: "That's because you CAME late, Takumi!"
Him: "I had stuff, okay?"
Him: "Welp, that was great. See you."
Erika: "Ah -"

He stood up and headed for the hallway.
But then something unprecedented happened.

Erika: "Wait a ****ing second!"

Erika struck him with her foot.

He beautifully caught the kick with his arm as it went toward his hips.

Erika was wearing a short one-piece, so he had clear sight of her white panties.

He didn't understand anything anymore.
Why had she come kicking at him?
Was the woman before him the one he called an angel?

Seeing he caught her kick, Erika immediately launched her fist forward.
He didn't know much about martial arts, but it was karate, he figured.
He had never heard that Erika had any martial arts experience.

He was able to successfully catch her hand as well.
Twisting it, he dropped her on the floor.

Erika: "Owww!"
Ueto: "Whoa! Hey! Why, you...!"

This time, Ueto attacked.

But Ueto tripped magnificently before doing anything, and looked up at him from the ground.

He felt like time had stopped.

But in no time at all, Glasses came from another direction.
She tried to grab him and restrain him, but like Erika, he twisted her arm and pushed her away.

At this point he realized it was not self-defense, but that the girls were simply being violent toward him, and he felt awful.

At any rate, he had escaped his predicament, but it was still mayhem.
He could only wonder how it came to this.

Meanwhile, the girls regained their posture.
No one said anything.
He didn't understand anything.

But then, the situation advanced.
Glasses held Chihuahua close.

Chihuahua: "Eh? Wha?"

Chihuahua didn't understand, either.
She showed some resistance.

Glasses whispered something into Chihuahua's ear.
Chihuahua stopped resisting.
She slowly approached him, coming within a meter's distance.

Chihuahua: "Um..."

Glasses thrust Chihuahua toward him.

And he caught Chihuahua.
As she rested in his arms, her softness eased his heart.

Him: "Uh, wha..."
Glasses: "Now!"

Chihuahua put her hands around his back.
He had half given up by then.

Immediately, Glasses attacked.
With nowhere for him to run, she grabbed his arm and twisted it like he had done.

Pressed by Erika and Ueto, he could put up no more resistance.

Him: "A-Alright, fine! Now let go of me!"

He was held on the floor by three of them, and restrained with three handcuffs quickly brought by Chihuahua.

Could anyone have predicted this day in his life would come?

He had completely given up on resisting.

One set of handcuffs went on his hands, a second connected the first chain to his belt, and the third set went around his ankles.

Him: "What's with THIS?"
Erika: "If you're gonna act up..."
Him: "You kicked me first!"
Erika: "Sorry about that."
Him: "Take them off."
Erika: "Nope."
Him: "What the hell are you even doing?"

This is sounding trolltastic.

Hey, even I think it sounds fake.

Sorry I'm slow.
It's hard writing the situation in an easy-to-understand way.
And I don't remember everything that was said.
And I'm a slow typer. So gimme a break.

Him: "Why don't I just yell?"
Erika: "Probably not worth it. Walls are soundproof, and I don't think you're the type."
Him: "Geez, what the hell do I do..."
Him: "Look, can you at least take off the cuffs on my feet? This seriously hurts. I won't run."
Erika: "..."

Erika took off the cuffs on his ankles.

Him: "And the belt thing is just annoying. It's not doing anything worthwhile."

Erika removed this, too.

Him: "Seriously, why'd you have to do that?"
Erika: "Does it matter?"

Him: "...So you were really just faking."
Erika: "Sure. Surprised?"
Him: "I guess..."
Erika: "You were calling me an angel, huh?"
Him: "Maybe."
Erika: "Yeah, angel, that's me!"
Him: "Sure not anymore, though."
Glasses: "Fallen angel? Erika, you're a fallen angel!"
Him: "Shut up, you."
Erika: "Fallen angel, that's me!"

Then Ueto spoke up.

Ueto: "Maybe we should leave now..."
Erika: "Right, thanks."
Ueto: "Right. Call us when you're done."
Ueto: "See ya, Takumi!"
Him: "..."

The three left.
What had the girls been there for?
Just to restrain him?

Him: "What were they here for?"
Erika: "...Well."
Him: "You're really nothing like I thought, huh..."
Erika: "I thought you were usually nicer than this, Takumi."
Him: "I've always been like this."
Erika: "Not to us, you weren't."
Him: "Well, I'm not going to be too rough with newcomers to the club."
Erika: "Ah, point."
Him: "...So can we get to the point already?"
Erika: "..."
Him: "What did you call me here for?"
Him: "If you're gonna kick me to keep me from leaving..."

She hung her head, her eyes looking up at him.
He could only see it as suspicious.

Erika: "...Um, well... We're still dating, aren't we?"
Him: "...Huh, I guess I didn't explicitly say it..."
Him: "Yeah, we're breaking up."
Erika: "...I don't wanna."
Him: "It's over, I found out your game. Find some new virgin."
Erika: "...It's not a game, though."
Him: "You won't have any trouble, huh, Shishido?"

Erika's expression sharpened.
He felt he had said a bit too much.

Erika: "...Come here."
Him: "Huh?"
Erika: "I said this way!"
Him: "What the..."

The place Erika led him to was her bedroom.

Erika: "Sit there."

Erika pointed to the large bed.

Him: "Don't wanna."
Erika: "Can't do much else, can you?"
Him: "..."

He reluctantly obeyed.
Erika continued to hang her head in a chair.

Him: "So, what?"
Him: "Enough already..."
Him: "If you don't wanna be dumped, you dump me!"
Erika: "...It's not a game..."
Him: "Huh?"

Erika looked up.

Erika: "I'm serious, I'm telling you!"
Him: "..."

He had been wondering if this moment would come.

Him: "Even if it is true, I don't know if I believe you, Shishido."
Erika: "Grr...!"

Erika came close to him.

Erika: "STOP calling me Shishido!"

Erika grabbed him by the chest and pushed him onto the bed.
He was clearly shaken.

HIm: "S-Sorry, Shishido, now get off..."

Erika: "Dammit! Stop ****ing CALLING me that!"

Erika: "Call me... my name... Call me Erika..."
Him: "..."

Erika started crying.
It was the first time he'd seen Erika cry.
He didn't have any idea what to do.

Him: "Okay, okay... Don't cry..."
Erika: "I'm not... crying... Call me Erika..."
Him: "Right, Erika! Now, uh, get off me, okay?"
Erika: "...No."
Him: "..."

He could only sigh.
Literally, as he couldn't move his hands.

For a while, Erika cried her eyes out on top of him.

Finally, she had calmed down somewhat.

Erika: "Look, I'm really being serious, okay?"
Him: "Serious about calling me a loser virgin when I'm not around?"
Erika: "...I can complain about my boyfriend if I want. But it's not really like that."
Him: "Yeah right, weren't you were faking your whole personality?"
Erika: "Well, that's... I heard you liked that kind of thing, Takumi."
Him: "Heard from who?"
Erika: "Fujiki."
Him: "...Huh?'
Erika: "Fujiki told me you liked people who were graceful and innocent."

An unexpected name had come up.

Him: "Naohito? So that's how you knew that?"
Erika: "Right."
Him: "Thing is, I don't really care for that stuff."
Erika: "...Huh?"
Him: "Yep."
Erika: "But I asked Fujiki in person!"
HIm: "And who'd know better, me or him?"
Erika: "...Seriously?"
Him: "Serious."
Erika: "No way..."

He'd finally realized by then.
Erika had been faking her personality for him, but if that was true, she had to have started before joining the club.

Him: "So, wait, did you know me from earlier?"
Erika: "...Yeah."
Him: "So when you confessed and said "since I first met you"..."
Erika: "Ha, you remember that?"
Him: "I guess."

He had not forgotten a word of her confession.

Erika: "I practiced that again and again. I wrote it all out."
Him: "...I see. ...So then, when was it?"
Erika: "Around September in my first year."

According to her, their first meeting was near the end of summer last year.

That day, she was going up the stairs when a moron hurrying down them crashed into her.
She went falling down the stairs.

It was he who caught her.

He had just so happened to be right behind her, so it was only chance.
But she thought that she might have died were it not for him, so she saw him a little differently than the rest.

Of course, that was all that happened, so they didn't even know each other's names.
But he was rather tall, so Erika would sometimes notice him around and want to talk to him.

But he didn't recall any of that.

Him: "Are you sure that was me?"
Erika: "No doubt."
Him: "I don't remember it."
Erika: "Well, maybe I have a different haircut than I did then."
Him: "Right. Get off me?"
Erika: "No."
Him: "At least give me my hands free, they're going numb."
Erika: "Oh, fine."

He hoped to find an opportunity to get up, but it failed.

Erika: "Pervert."
Him: "Which one's that, skank?"
Erika: "I'm no skank, I'm a pure maiden."
Him: "So you say."
Erika: "Wanna check?"
Him: "Who does?
Erika: "You chicken?"
Him: "Shut up."
Erika: "Pay attention. No wonder you're a virgin."
Him: "What do you want? Do you like me or not?"
Erika: "I changed this bed to a double last month."
Erika: "Why, do you think?"
Him: "..."
Erika: "Dunno, huh?"

He just barely understood her feelings, but not so much her money sense.

Him: "...Nah, I don't wanna know."
Erika: "! ..."
Him: "I'd like that first kiss back, please."
Erika: "It was my first too, dammit."
Him: "Technically I had it taken away by a cat near my house."
Erika: "I'm not some stupid cat!"

He still felt like he could be forgiven at this point.
But he knew that he couldn't be.

It was just a snark-off now.

Erika: ".....Hey. How do you want to start things over?"
Him: "...Dunno, don't care."
Erika: ".....Hey..."
Him: "...Alright, honestly, from what you'd said, I'm thinking maybe shouldn't break up after all."
Erika: "..."
Him: "But I still don't exactly trust you."
Erika: "..."
Him: "So we'll break up, and put some distance between us."
Him: "If we're starting over, we can start from being friends in the club."

Erika: "If we start that far back, will you date me again?"
Him: "Dunno."
Erika: "Why?"
Him: "Because I might not trust you after all, and I might find someone else I like."
Him: "Same goes for you."
Erika: "I doubt it."
Erika: "...Takumi, which of the other three do you like?"

Erika tapped on his chest.
He didn't have any such feelings in his heart.

Him: "Look, don't you get why I said we're breaking up? They're the same boat as you."
Him: "Oh, but I would do anything to protect Chihuahua."
Erika: "Hey!"

Erika pounded his chest a bit harder.

Erika: "Come to think of it, you twisted my arm and whatnot, but not Chihuahua..."
Me: "That's just how it worked out."
Erika: "...Fine, I get you."

Erika again punched her fist into his chest.

Him: "Then will you get off me?"
Erika: "...Hm, right."

He was relieved to hear that answer.
He was tired, and just thinking about going home and sleeping.

Erika held his face in her hands, and her lips softly touched his.

Erika: "That's all you get."

Erika got off of him and removed the handcuffs.

Sorry, I fell asleep.
I'm out of pre-written posts.
Sorry to everyone waiting on me.
And this thread is getting way too long.
As for this being a troll, that's up to you to decide.
I didn't think I'd ever be handcuffed 'til it happened.
Wait a little longer for the rest.

To be continued.

[The thread died, and Takumi continued in a second one.]

[ The Conclusion ]

Him: "Well, we're done. I'm going."
Erika: "...It's late. Why not stay?"
Him: "Absolutely not."

He felt that if he stayed over, he would keep dating her with destructive results.
It wouldn't make sense after clearly stating otherwise.
Additionally, since Erika had been on top of him, his lower half was suffering.

Erika: "...Can't you stay with me a little while?"
Him: "How long's a little while?"
Erika: "Until I go to bed."
Him: "Nope."
Erika: "But that's not long. It's late, and I'm tired."
Him: "So am I."
Erika: "Then we can sleep together."
Him: "How about no."
Erika: "Please? Just a little while?"
Him: "..."

He reluctantly agreed.

She thanked him, turned out the light, and lied on the bed.

Erika: "Hey, where you wanna hang out next time?"
Him: "Go to sleep."
Erika: "...Virgin."
Him: "I'm leaving."
Erika: "Wait!"
Him: "...Sleep, dammit!"
Erika: "Hm..."

Him: "So you're telling me you never had a boyfriend before?"
Erika: "Told you so 'cause it's true."
Him: "Isn't your first year of college the best for that?"
Erika: "I was popular, but I didn't like anybody."
Him: "Right, okay now go to sleep."
Erika: "Hey, you prompted me."
Him: "...Sorry."
Erika: "Hm..."
Him: "..."
Erika: "..."

Erika: "...Um, sorry about today, okay?"
Him: "..."
Erika: "About all the things..."
Him: "I dunno what I could do to make you pay for it..."
Him: "For getting kicked, and handcuffed..."
Erika: "...Do whatever."
Him: "Actually, I guess those three are included too."
Erika: "Well, they did do it for me..."
Him: "So they're just as guilty."
Erika: "So what would you do to punish us?"
Him: "Maybe each of you let me grab your breasts 100 times."

Erika softly laughed, and whispered "gross virgin."

Erika: "Hey, Takkun."
Him: "Can't say Takkun when you're not faking."
Erika: "Won't you call me Erika-chan?"
Him: "Can't say -chan when you're not faking."
Erika: "...Well, at least my first name."
Him: "...Yeah, sure."
Erika: "Thanks. ...Good night."
Him: "Right, night."

Erika: "..."
Him: "..."
Him: "...Erika?"
Erika: "..."
Him: "Asleep?"
Erika: "..."
Him: "...Shishido?"
Erika: "..."
Him: "...Erika-chan?"
Erika: "..."

Erika had finally fallen asleep.
He quietly turned off all the lights and left the room.

He went into the hall and to the elevator.
Incidentally, Erika's room auto-locked.

Sorry, that's it for today.

But the rest is mostly just extra.

What a good kid.
You seem to have a grudge for the McDonald's thing, but she was probably just exaggerating how slow you were taking things to show off to her friends.
But I guess that's virgins for you, ending it with "You should've been straight with me all along, moron!"...

Sorry for the wait.

This should be the end.

As he headed toward the elevator, something crashed into his left side.

Ueto: "BANG!"
Him: "Ow!"

The door to the room he was passing by swung open with great force, and Ueto came from within.

Ueto: "Good evening!"
Him: "OW."
Ueto: "Sorry!"

She was totally unfazed.
But that was some timing.

Him: "Have you been waiting there since you left?"
Ueto: "Haha, yeah right! I just got an text from Erika saying you left, so I watched for you through the peephole."
Him: "..."

Apparently Erika had been feigning sleep.

Ueto: "So you broke up in the end, huh."
Him: "Eh."
Ueto: "Sorry about today."
Him: "What were you there to accomplish?"
Ueto: "Erika was helpless on her own."
Him: "The real her seems pretty bold."
Ueto: "Oh, no, no. It was nuts after you left McDonald's, you know?
She looked like it was gonna be the end of the world."
Ueto: "First time I've ever seen it. "Tell Shishido... What do I do...?""
Ueto: "Pretty cute, actually."

Him: "Yeah um, I don't understand why you handcuffed me though."
Ueto: "Well, that's how things played out!"
Ueto: "You're pretty strong, Takumi. Surprised me."
Him: "Sure."
Ueto: "We've practiced a fair bit in self-defense."
Him: "You just tripped. Was that self-defense, because you didn't get near me?"
Ueto: "...Shaddup, you."
Ueto: "So Erika surprised you with that, huh?"
Him: "Well, you aren't hiding anything else, are you?"
Ueto: "Nah, you'll be okay."
Him: "Chihuahua doesn't have anything like that?"
Ueto: "Chihuahua, well... Sometimes she makes weird yelps while playing games alone."
Him: "...Noted."

Ueto: "So, will you forgive us for today?"
Him: "You want forgiveness?"
Ueto: "I'd say we did something bad."
Him: "...I talked with Erika about that, actually."
Ueto: "And?"
Him: "We decided I'd grab your breasts 100 times each."
Ueto: "That's sexual harassment... times three hundred."
Him: "I can skip you if you'd prefer."

Ueto slapped him.

Ueto: "I think you've changed too, Takumi."
Him: "I've always been like this."
Ueto: "Thought you were nicer."
Him: "So you won't call me Satoh either, huh?"
Ueto: "It's always Takumi when we talk about you, so I think it works."
Ueto: "You can call me my first name Aya, too."
Him: "I'll think about it. I'm going.'
Ueto: "Right, good night. Again, sorry."
Him: "Hm."

As he got on the elevator, he received a call.
It was from Glasses.

Him: "...Hello."
Glasses: "Ah, Takumi?"
Him: "What is it?"
Glasses: "Evening."
Him: "Good morning to you too."
Glasses: "Whew... Sorry about today."
Him: "Enough, Ueto already did this."
Glasses: "Once I'm done, Chihuahua will call too."
Him: "...Ah, right. So I can hang up now?"
Glasses: "Hey, wait, let's talk a little first."
Him: "Nothing to talk about."
Glasses: "Um, can you lend me an H game later?"
Him: "...Huh?'

This was the number one surprise of the day.
That he owned H games was supposed to be a secret between him, Itaru, and Naohito.

Him: "...Huh?"
Glasses: "Oh, surprised?"
Glasses: "I found them when I went to your house earlier."
Him: "...Serious?"
Glasses: "Super serial, Erika and the rest know too."
Him: "...Serious?"
Glasses: "So then I took one home and played it. That "Parfait" one."
Him: "Don't just..."
Glasses: "I cried. The rest of us cried, too."

Glasses: "Wha? But I wanted to talk..."
Him: "Later."
Glasses: "Well, I'll borrow a different one next time."
Him: "Buy it yourself, you've got money!"
Glasses: "It's always better to lend when you've got friends."
Him: "...Whatever, fine."
Glasses: "Your recommendation, of course."
Him: "Yeah, yeah."
Glasses: "Well, later!"
Him: "...Hm."

He hung up.

When he reached his bicycle, just as Glasses had stated, he received a call from Chihuahua.

Him: "Hello."
Chihuahua: "...Takumi?"
Him: "Yeah."
Chihuahua: "It's Chihuahua."
Him: "You're up late."
Chihuahua: "I've been gaming."
Him: "I hear you make weird yelps when you're playing games alone."
Chihuahua: "Huh? Why...?"
Him: "Ueto told me."
Chihuahua: "Geez... um, uh..."

Chihuahua seemed easily embarrassed.

Him: "Was Parfait fun?"
Chihuahua: "Huh?"
Him: "The game you borrowed without asking?"
Chihuahua: "Y-Yes, very. Sorry."
Him: "So, what?"
Chihuahua: "Ah... s-sorry, about today, okay?"
Him: "Ah, it's fine. You didn't really do anything, Chihuahua."
Him: "The handcuffs hurt, though."
Chihuahua: "Sorry..."
Him: "Hm... Well, I'm hanging up."
Chihuahua: "Right. See you."

And he got on his bicycle and rode home.

Checking his phone upon getting home, he found one text from Erika.

Erika: "Can't say -chan when I'm not faking."

He didn't reply to it.

In this way, his love came to a momentary close.
The ordinary virgin, in the end, was no more than that.

If he feels like such, perhaps he'll continue his romance with Erika.
Indeed, he feels within him that it may be for the best.
Of course, she's done some unfortunate things.
But a true virgin will not acknowledge that fact.

Even he does not know what he will do in the future.
Perhaps he will start things over if Erika approaches him.
Perhaps he'll find another fantastic woman.
Or perhaps he'll be forever a virgin.

At any rate, he does not feel this outcome to be a bad thing.
Becoming more frank with the girls who had once made him despair, he feels he could date her.

In the end, he appreciates the denizens of 2ch who hear his tale.

He does not know how effective their words will be.
But this time, they have helped to settle things into a serviceable state.

For now, the curtain closes on this tale.

It was the tale of an ordinary virgin.

    ̄ ̄ ̄二二ニ=-
'''''""" ̄ ̄

                          /⌒ヽ   _,,-''"
                       _  ,(^ω^ ) ,-''";  ;,
                         / ,_O_,,-''"'; ', :' ;; ;,'
                     (.゛ー'''", ;,; ' ; ;;  ':  ,'
                   _,,-','", ;: ' ; :, ': ,:    :'  THE
                _,,-','", ;: ' ; :, ': ,:    :'     END

If I had to say if I like or dislike Erika, I would say I like her.

But I'm satisfied with this outcome. I just feel somewhat duty-bound to report it.

Perhaps things could be restored quickly, but we don't have plans to meet for a while.


I looked through your replies.
There are many opinions on Erika's cuteness and evilness and whatnot.
I don't really think Erika is that bad of a girl.
It would be a lie to say I don't think she's kind for what she's done for me.

Also, I don't think it's wrong of me to hide my H games.
It's the same thing as not showing your porn folder to your girlfriend.
Of course, I still got found out.

Forgive me for leaving things looking unfinished.
I don't know if something worth reporting will come up and when, and I can't really just talk about my daily life, right?
If we reconcile, or if Erika finds some other guy, I'll report that.

I'll probably only bother to report if this thread is still around, by the way.

And report he did.

Posted June 8th, 2012


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