The Story of Hee and Haw

A 2ch story about a simple procedure:

1. Try to go to sleep.
2. Brother's charred corpse looking at me.
3. Wake up.


While in middle school, Hee killed three people.
His father, his mother, and his brother.
Wanting to commit suicide, he set fire to his house.
He was a true nuisance.

But alas, Hee was the only survivor.
"I've really messed up," Hee thought.
"They were such good people, and I set them on fire."

Without a home and with his family dead, Hee began living with a relative.
He thought "If I need to, I can try suicide again," but his life became significantly better.

No one even considered that Hee had started the fire.

His high school was far away, and his studies were difficult, but his relative was kind.
Though he led a busy life, Hee ended up a perfectly ordinary person.

"Why had I tried to commit suicide?", he came to think.
"My brain must've been broken in middle school."

Hee the murderer went on to university on a scholarship, and moved out to live on his own.
While everything seemed to be going fine, starting around the end of spring, he was tormented by a lack of sleep.

Because his brother would not let him.

However, Hee figured that this was inevitable, as he was no doubt at fault.

The instant he was about to fall asleep, he would suddenly open his eyes and see his brother looking at him through the window or whatnot, as charred as he had been when he died.

It didn't make Hee feel at ease, certainly.
To be frank, it surprised him.
To be truthful, the first time it happened, he let out a shriek.

Though nothing physical was being done to him, Hee grew steadily weaker.

While nodding off in class, Hee discovered something.

His brother would not appear if he slept in front of others.

In classrooms, cafeterias, anywhere people gathered, Hee could rest in peace.
If even one person knew Hee was there, he was able to sleep soundly.

Then just tell a friend to help you sleep, duh!
Unfortunately, Hee had no friends.

Did it stem from his own guilty conscience?
Or was it simply that he wasn't very social?
The point is, Hee had no friends.

Whenever he got sleepy, he would go to a McDonald's or Doutor.
Even so, he wasn't able to get many hours of sleep.

T-This is scary...

Hee came to realize he might not have much longer to live.

His brother was determined to take Hee to the grave.
Hee figured that this, too, was inevitable.

However, he thought it strange how his father and mother wouldn't appear in the same way.
He figured his parents were very accepting, after all.

Hee had many attachments to this world, but he didn't feel too compelled to keep living.
On the other hand, he wasn't wishing for death, either.

His eyesight and hearing got worse and worse.
It became difficult for him to tell if he was awake or not.

One day, Hee was sleeping in a food court.
The vibration of his phone woke him up.

He flipped the phone up and was surprised to see five missed calls.
For Hee, this was as many as he'd get in a year.

The caller had been a girl he was partnered with for a class.
Was there something class-related going on?
Hee called her back hastily, clearing his throat.

Even though he knew he was nearing death, he was still fussing over little things.
But school credits were important, I suppose.

"I was asleep," Hee said.

"That's what I thought," his partner replied.

Since he sat next to her and was always sleeping in class, she knew Hee as a person who slept often.

Hee asked, "So what do you want?"

"It's about the homework for Wednesday. You know."

"Was there an assignment?"

"It's due by six today."

"Is that important?"

"Hahh?" She seemed mad.

"Uh, how much is it worth, again?", Hee asked.

"If we don't do it, we won't get credits. It's VERY important."

"Got it. Should I head for school?"

"No, I'm nearby."

"Huh? You knew where I was?"

"You told me last class."

"Oh... No, actually, I'm at the mall right now."


Even in class, she would constantly reply with "Hahh?"
Thus, Hee mentally thought of her as "Haw."

"Hurry over here!"

"I'll be about thirty minutes."

"Hahh?! Hurry up!"

Hee flew back home on his bike.
He hadn't talked to anyone in quite a while.
"Huh, is that how I talk?", he thought.

He reached his apartment and found Haw sitting in front of the door.

Haw had bright hair and eyes like a panda.
She was not at all Hee's type.

"Do you have a computer here?", Haw asked

"Yeah. But it doesn't have internet."

"Well, we'll work here. We don't have time. Alright?"


Haw entered Hee's room, and after four "Hahh?"s at the lack of certain living essentials, they began on their work.
Naturally, Hee the murderer spent rather little time living at home.

Unfortunately, the goal of the assignment was to interview your partner about their upbringing and write a report.

Hee interviewed Haw first.
She took up piano when she was three, and got lessons starting in elementary school.
She was in the exercise club in middle school, and went to an all-girls high school.
Hee found Haw to be surprisingly high-class.

Hee asked, "How'd a princess like you end up like this?"
Haw replied after a short pause.
"Because I found out good books and good music existed."

Not expecting to hear such a thing from Haw, Hee laughed out loud.
It had truly been a long time since he'd laughed.

While Hee perceived it as roaring laughter, Haw only saw a small smile on his lips.
She pouted slightly.

However, asking about those books and that music, Hee found their interests matched rather well.

When Hee said he owned those CDs and books himself, Haw replied:
"I know. I can see them right there."
Hee was let down by the fact she didn't reply "Hahh?"

After Haw put on one of her favorite CDs, Hee began giving his own life story.

Feeling a little inferior to Haw, he was worried about her comments.
Of course, he would cover up the suicide part, but...

Haw soon changed the subject.

"You said you were asleep earlier, right?"

"Yeah, I was."

"Sleeping at the mall?"

"That's right."

Haw grew increasingly confused.

Haw asked, "How many hours of sleep do you get a day?"

"About six hours, total."

"Are you nocturnal, or what?"

"It's a special kind of insomnia."

Haw could see clearly that Hee's face was one of sleep deprivation.

She flicked him in the forehead, and he said "ow" two seconds later.
Very delayed reaction time. This is serious, Haw decided.

After they'd finished their interviews, the two started on their reports.
Hee finished his first.

His head reeling from drowsiness, he said to Haw:
"Hurry, Haw! Write faster!"

"Shut up, I am hurrying!"

"If you don't finish, neither can I."

"Hold on, who's Haw?"

Hee explained his nickname.
Afterward, Haw stopped going "Hahh?" quite so much.

"How much longer is it gonna be?", Hee asked.

"About twenty minutes..."

"I'm gonna sleep. Wake me up when you done."

Haw's hands stopped, hovering over the keyboard.
"Why are you ALWAYS so sleepy?"

"I can only sleep when somebody's there."


"You don't have to believe me," Hee laughed.

Hee slept soundly while Haw finished up her report.
Getting thirsty, Haw went to a vending machine outside.
She looked up at the red sunset sky for a while.

She bought two cold coffees and returned.
When she heard glass shattering inside the room.

"What was that?!", Haw asked upon her return.

"There was a cockroach, so I tried to kill it," Hee smiled.
He'd broken the window throwing his phone at it.

"You're as white as a ghost."

"I really hate cockroaches," Hee replied.

As she gathered up the glass, Haw came to understand.

This guy really can't sleep unless someone's there.
Which means it's more than just being unable to sleep.
He really must be crazy...

"...If you can't sleep, why not call a friend?"

"Can't you tell? I've got no friends."

Did he have no family, either?
Haw wanted to just sit and stroke Hee's face.
But the eeriness of the whole situation stopped her.

Hee felt awkward about Haw seeing him acting weird.
They sent in their finished reports, and Haw had no reason to remain there.

Haw stood up, switched the CD to Pollini, then sat back down.

"Is there something else?", Hee asked.

Haw said, "Was all that stuff true?"

"The cockroach part was a lie," Hee replied.

"The cockroach part was a lie. I'm a little bit crazy, you see.
When I'm alone and I try to sleep, as soon as I'm about to drift off, I wake up and see the charred corpse of my brother looking my way."


"I'm serious, Haw. It's pretty crazy."

Hee laughed.
Something about the timing of his laugh made Haw seem to understand.

Haw was quiet for a while.
The music helped the silence be less awkward.
The western sun coming in from the window dyed the room red.

Haw pushed Hee from the side, and he fell over onto the sofa.

"Go to sleep," Haw instructed.

Hee nodded and slept.

Hee slept surprisingly well.

Hee woke up and found Haw beside him.

"Morning," Hee said.

"Hm? ...Yeah, morning."

Hee looked at the clock and was startled.
"You were here for seven whole hours?"

"Yeah, well. There were books to read," Haw hastily explained, picking up a book.
Hee didn't care to point out how she was holding it upside-down.

Hee thanked her.
"Thanks. And thanks for the coffee."

"You always make sure to thank people, huh?", Haw said, averting her eyes.

"I do. And clearly you can be kind to people, too."

"Whatever. Man, I'm sleepy..."

Haw promptly fell asleep.
Hee went outside and had a pleasant stretch.

What a good sleep.

Haw woke up two hours later.
Realizing she'd slept on Hee's sofa, she tidied it up with some embarrassment.

"I fell asleep," Haw said.


"Morning... I'm going home."

"Okay. Bye."

Haw left, rubbing her eyes.

Hee would never forget the sight for as long as he lived.
Of course, that would be a matter of course if he was to die soon. But was he?

"I guess I don't really want to die," Hee thought.
But of course, that had no bearing on what would happen.

From then on, Haw would occasionally help Hee out.

"Hee! Hey, Hee!"


"Have you been sleeping?"

"Not really."

"Want to?"


When together, they rarely spoke about anything beyond which one of them would be sleeping.
Regardless, both Hee and Haw greatly enjoyed those moments.

Haw's such a good girl...

By the way, maybe I should mention the text file I've been writing this in is named "heehaw."

Why did you say that now...?

Haw's favorite cigarettes were Casters.

"Don't smoke indoors."

"Why not? Didn't you say you're going to die soon?"

"Are they tasty?"

"Pfft. Why would they be tasty?"

"You shouldn't smoke."

"I can't help it, smoking suits me."

"No it doesn't. And neither does your dyed hair."

"It totally does."

"And your makeup's too thick."

"Shut up!"

Haw gradually began wearing less makeup.

The university had a room for piano lessons.
When Hee was sleepy between lectures, Haw would take him there.

Haw would play the Goldberg Variations, and Hee would sleep curled up on top of the piano.

No other sounds could be heard in the music room.
While Haw was waiting for Hee to wake up, she wrote for-dummies summaries of what would be on exams.
Even she didn't know why she was so helpful to him.

It soon came to be that even if Haw was there, Hee's brother might still appear.

"Why did you try to commit suicide?"

At this time, Haw was informed about Hee's attempted suicide and the death of his family.

"Living just wasn't enjoyable. There really wasn't any huge reason.
I wasn't very smart back then, I might say."

"So then you decided to die? Isn't that stupid?"

"Indeed it was. I mean, living can be pretty enjoyable."

Hee suddenly felt bad after saying this.
He was a murderer who had killed three people.
He'd incinerated three lives which could have been full of joy.
So if he were to be killed for it, he'd... have a problem with that, but still.

"Do you think sins can never be forgiven?", Hee suddenly asked one day.

"I suppose..." Haw wondered.

She couldn't really think of anything comforting to say.
Hee was a pretty bad guy, after all.

Certainly he wasn't a bad person now - perhaps one could say he was reborn.
But his three murders wouldn't be forgiven.

Embarrassed, Haw ultimately said:
"You know, I really like you."

"Don't dodge the question," Hee said.

"You shouldn't be so evasive either," Haw replied.

Hee was too sleepy to understand what Haw was getting at.

Haw pushed Hee onto the sofa.

"Never mind. Go to sleep."

But Hee's eyes remained open.

Haw sat on the sofa by Hee's head.
Hee was getting increasingly unable to sleep.

These guys are so damn cute for college students...

Haw thought for a while.
It would be a lot more efficient to live together.
We wouldn't have to come to each other's places, rent would be cheaper. And I like Hee.

Haw stroked Hee's face as he started to snooze away.
She decided that when Hee woke up, she'd tell him her idea.

Hee woke up. "Morning."

"Morning. You slept well?"

"Honestly, I was too stressed to sleep much."

"Ahaha... That's lame."

"Yeah... It kind of worries me."

"Hmm. Well, there's always next time."

"It's dark, so take care on your way home."

"Right. Bye."

Haw waved goodbye as she left.
Hee stood at the door waving for a while even after it was closed.

After Haw left, Hee slept once again.


When Haw visited the next day, Hee was gone.
The door had been unlocked, so Haw waited there.

Haw started feeling a little lonely.
She alternated between asleep and awake for about sixteen hours.

She went outside barefoot.
She could hear insects buzzing.
The air was thick with summery smells.

"Hey, let's go to the movies. You can sleep there, Hee," Haw said to herself.

"The one where a murderer gets a terrible punishment. Let's go see it together."
Imagining Hee grimacing at her, Haw laughed.

"Also, by the way... Going back and forth like this is a real pain. Think we could live together?"

Haw laughed imagining Hee's slow reaction to her proposal.

And then she cried.

After this, Haw became much more modest.
She gave up smoking, went back to black hair, and wore less makeup.
"Even Hee wouldn't be able to recognize it's me," she thought.

To this day, Haw sits in her room putting on CDs she'd borrowed from Hee and putting off sleep.

Remembering the weight of Hee's head on her lap.
Remembering the feel of his hair.

And thus ends the story of Hee and Haw.
Anyone who read it to the end has too much free time. Thank you, bored people.
And now, long time no advertisement.


I'm gonna cry.

I'm crying.

I'm in public...

Oh, man...

Poor Hee...

Good job!

- Next Time on Hee and Haw -
1. Try to go to sleep.
2. Hee's corpse looking at me.
3. Wake up.

Where did Hee go...?

Vanishing on his own before he dies... He's like a cat.

[Lastly, one small translation note: "hi" means "fire." Yep.]

Posted September 29th, 2012

#fafoo (Source)

Post List