Let's Play Golden Sun Dark Dawn: Chapter 33

Well, I'm not looking forward to meeting Kraden at all. But I guess we've got to go save the... um... oh yeah, we're actually trying to kill a bird. Right. Of course.

Anyway, better check out this Patcher's Place place and meet -

WHOA HOLD UP. Nobody told me there'd be a THEME PARK. Screw Kraden, we gotta go see that as soon as possible.

Anyway, yeah, this Patcher guy hates Tyrell. Normally I would complain how the game refuses to give any details about why this is, but the game's already shown us enough about Tyrell that there's no real reason to question it.

No, I'm Tyrell. (And after DAAAAA's noble sacrifice, Karis and Tyrell were unable to procure the Mountain Roc feather... GAME OVER)

After a pointlessly long sequence where Patcher notices everyone in the room except Tyrell...

Tyrell: good for absolutely nothing. He can't wait to meet Kraden and find out he's not quite the worst person in the world.

Sigh... those blue rings remind me of Super Mario 64, and how much I sucked at swimming behind the manta ray... Way to go depressing me, Tyrell...

Wow! Suddenly I feel a million times better. Thanks, Karis.

Except when said people are turned into giant final boss dragons. Then it's okay.


We then go behind the counter and loot Patcher. Sweet, free* Power Bread.

Weyard faces the issue of global draining. ...Alternatively, Groudon?

Not so much. At this rate it's looking like our journey will have even more pointless text and emoticons than they EVER did!

So we go up from the town to some Psynergy Training Ground thing.

Um... pushing a log? Yeah, you kinda don't even need to use Psynergy for that. (When you aren't talking to this guy, he's in a I MUST MOVE THIS WITH MY MIND HNGGGGGH pose.)

It turns out the "theme park" that guy was talking is actually a TRIAL reminiscent of AAAAD's adventure and split into four parts for each lighthouse. Well, we'll see how accura...

LOG ROLLING PUZZLES! Why, it's as if I'm playing Golden Sun all over again!

I don't recall Tret ever being called a "holy tree" but ahahahahahaha

Okay honestly that's creepier than his possessed face.

Standing on water is a passive Psynergy ability known to all Adepts, of course.

You know, that IS an accurate representation of Ricardo's degree of character development.

Strange, funny, and oddly nostalgic. YEAHHHHH

Ricardos! Miranda! Rolling on pullies at the speed of light! Fireball now, set them alight! (Alex, that's right!)

I figured this would happen at some point: the game casually skims over the fact that control switched over to Felix's party. For that matter, even if it's accurate, isn't it a little weird that Ricardos and Miranda are "villified" since it turns out they were sorta on your side? I feel that the creators of this training ground simply made it based off hazy memories of when they first played Golden Sun, back when they thought it was really good.

Of course I also wonder why they would make a training ground dedicated to these guys' adventure when there's that whole thing about WE WERE HEROES BUT THE WORLD THINKS WE DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE, but hey, I'm not complaining - this has probably been one of the best parts of the game so far.

You may think I used Whirlwind to turn that pinwheel there and make the Gabomba Statue stick out his tongue, but in reality I just had to tell him to say "aaah."

Assembling the Trident here just involves moving three logs off switches. If only it had been that easy.

It is still fairly annoying, though, as those floating boxes move very, very slowly. I wonder how they make whirlpools that work so... systematically?

Ride the whirlwind, baby.

Through the firejets and the flames. (If you just try to push the log straight through without even stopping, DAAAAA doesn't go "oh no I'm on fire which made me flash for a couple seconds" until after he's cleared the flames. Uh, right.)

AND master tightropist.

You're a mean one, Mr. Agatio.


Which, uh... actually, I don't think I have any additional jokes to make here.

The dragon fell apart AND ALL YOUR PARENTS WERE INSIDE. ALL OF THEM. You ought to think about what you've done.

In a shocking defiance of the norm, Golden Sun allows us to make a very significant choice indeed...

No just kidding, both chests contain the same prize, a gate pass.

You can do the trial again, this time with the time limits reduced to something you might actually have difficulty making instead of five times more than you'd ever need - presumably to get some useful reward from the "other" chest - but man, screw that.

Then again, despite being a rare item that we eventually need to proceed and all, maybe they did want a way for you to get a second one... Seriously, Patcher, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Golden Sun: Just don't fry your bacon. For your own safety.

Suddenly we bear witness to a bacon-frying disaster! ...How did that kid and that flower get in that position, exactly?

Anyway, Karis uses Whirlwind and the flower flies up and politely drops the kid slightly further to the left right.

Hope there aren't any other other young adventurers about, because Kraden would probably think they're us and go off with them. ...Er, wait, did I say "hope there AREN'T"?

By the way, there's a Psynergy Vortex nearby, it's just off-camera in that screenshot. Watanabe Sr. The father doesn't comment on it or anything.

No we have never seen or heard about these magic black holes which is why we just as nonchalant about one being here as that dad guy.

I warned you about vortexes, bro.

So everyone's worried the Mourning Moon's gonna come back and all that, but this Carver guy says that it won't come if they find a way to get rid of the smaller vortexes. (Spoilers: It will anyway. DAAAAA's Psynergun: If a Mourning Moon appeared ten years ago, it will appear again by the end of the first game of a full game split into two.)

First of all, Kraden does not "swing." Second of all... well, you may have a point. Kraden is such a black hole of intelligence he may well stand something against magic black holes.

Suddenly, in the middle of the meandering conversation, the vortex shrinks like that other one did after we beat the giant plant monster.

Normally I'd compliment Tyrell on making the best contribution, but DAAAAA takes the cake.

Now that the vortex is slightly smaller, apparently they feel more confident about attempting to cross the bridge via gondola. Seems like it would still get just as much in the way, but what do I know.

What makes you say th

JEGUS who BUILT that thing, IMMIGRANTS??

Fortunately, there's another one, and Carver suggests some crazy plan involving Grip Psynergy or something, but everyone thinks it'll fall apart after he makes the ride over. Carver doesn't care. And why is he putting so much as risk?

Yeah, um, I... sorta think that can wait?

Well, let's see how this goes...

Some Golden-Sun-standby freeze-frames to get Carver into position, and...

Well, that couldn't have possibly gone any better.

So Carver makes it over "fine," but since the gondola got destroyed now we have no way of getting over and have to take some alternate route that requires that pass we got from the training grounds.

Come to think of it, was the gondola really necessary for that plan? Sure, our party probably would've been too chicken to ride it anyway after seeing the other one fall apart, but Camelot could've just had the one. Maybe they just really wanted to show off their collapsing gondola physics twice.

Apparently not immigrants, but the ever-popular "ancients" built the gondolas. Well, geez, why WOULDN'T they be falling apart then, they're ANCIENT. They're not in good condition practically by definition.

We head over to the gate and see the entire process of a random NPC asking the old man running the gate to open it and him doing so. For no reason at all except maybe to see what the graphic for the gate pass is. Thanks, Camelot.

Afterward, we can walk into his house to find that he's now fallen asleep forever and we can open and close the gate for ourselves whenever we want. Um... yeah, okay.

At last we find the ruins... in which we shall MEET KRA - okay look I don't even care anymore.

Chapter 34