So the TANGLEWOOD has some really difficult jumping puzzles, of course. I wonder what's up with that water? Maybe after the Golden Sun event the ocean turned into POISON.
Gary pops out to be a pansy at a completely random time. Also, warped tree roots. About time this evil forest earned its stupid name.
Suddenly, out of literally nowhere, everyone decides that we're lost and it's all thanks to the forest being evil. Uh. What. There was kinda another path I had yet to take, guys. (Sure, you can see on the map that there's no exit on that path, but still.)
Okay, that's even worse than just saying "evil forest." Great job, Camelot.
So apparently AAAAD is PURE OF HEART and can SEE THROUGH THE CORRUPTION TO FIND THE WAY (which probably just means looking at the map).
And our extremely pure-of-heart hero decides the best way through the forest is to burn it down. And here I thought he was a hippie
Oh yeah, we can't do jack yet. Sure is gonna suck when you two die or something.
So AAAAD asks Gary to throw a fireball, and Gary spends FOREVER making absolutely SURE you know how to aim it when you do it yourself, then stops to ask AAAAD where he should throw it, is told "anywhere," then spends EQUALLY FOREVER DECIDING WHAT AAAAD MEANT BY ANYWHERE.
And then it does nothing.
So he does it two more times until he finds the huge flower that glows when he faces it.
It's easy to be right when you're not very specific about things. WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE TOLD HIM TO JUST SHOOT THE GODDAMN FLOWER.
Extreme cold is always "negative energy." Always. Mia was a dark sorceress for being able to use Frost. Also, "hand in glove"? What is the deal with this game and using idioms that are apparently real but sound awkward.
So yeah, the point of all that waiting around and dialogue was that we need to be doing this to clear the roots. Was that so hard, Golden Sun? Was that so hard.
Hedge maze in a forest? Sure, why not.
Unbelievably, the game doesn't tell you to use Growth on the little plant to turn it into this vine that puts you in range to fireball an evil flower. This is basically a miracle.
Eventually we find the cave. Oh yeah, we were doing that.
Tyrell crashed the soarwing. The wing is totally destroyed. It's unusable now. It might never fly again. How will we use the wing now? It's shattered. It completely fell apart. It's in pieces. It's in shambles. It's ruined.
Just making sure we're clear.
We go inside the cave, and after one room, everyone shouts out for Tyrell and they're worried he's in trouble.
Well, like I just said, we only went through one room. And isn't it kinda the point of a mine that you'd take the crystals OUT of the mine? Don't be so needlessly superstitious, AAAAD. (Also, when you enter the cave, the game calls it "Abandoned" Mine, so what if it was... I don't know, abandoned for a reason?)
No, really, AAAAD seems to want to solve a lot of problems with fire. (Also, please don't say "where's out there," please don't say "where's out there.")
So he shoots fireballs at a couple more evil flowers, but then throws one straight into the clearly visible vortex in front of them that looks an awful lot like the ones he and AAAAD are supposedly looking into.
I'm sure it is with all those flickering lightning effects.
Meaning, of course, that a Psynergy Vortex - more than likely the Mourning Moon - is the final boss. Mystery solved. What do I win?
What do you MEAN "over there"? From your point of view it should have been incredibly easy to see him lying right next to the vortex. I guess it's pretty much the same logic as hiding things behind buildings.
What? Why is she yelling at ME? He's the one who jumped off the roof, everyone seemed to agree this was the safest place for him to land, and I certainly didn't even play any part in telling him to land here, did I? I mean that seems like a really difficult thing for a silent protagonist to do.
So they're black holes. Excuse me, magic black holes. Excuse me, Psynergy black holes.
They talk about how the appearance of vortexes foreshadows the reappearance of the Mourning Moon (somehow) and it has to do with the lighting of the Lighthouses, and in the process mention Kraden, who is apparently NOT DEAD. THERE IS NO WISE ONE
I'm just chillin' in front of a magic black hole, no biggie.
So we go and fireball the flower, but naturally it turns into a monster. I mean duh.
Isaac yells at us to use the Meteor summon, so we do. There's a long cutscene where a meteor slips out of a swarm, comes hurtling toward whatever planet Weyard is on, and...
Tyrell has been DRAINED OF PSYNERGY, so AAAAD and Gary gotta heal him up.
Hooray, he's okay! Now we can yell at him for being totally stupid!
KARIS YOU SLIGHTLY-MORE-TOLERABLE CHARACTER WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST SAY "WORRIED SICK" FRICK
So after everyone's done yelling at Tyrell they discuss what needs to be done to fix the soarwing and begin their EPIC QUEST to TRAVEL THE WORLD and LOOK INTO DANGEROUS VORTEXES. The main problem with repairing it is...
Going to be the MacGuffin for the entire rest of the game. Why should I have expected any less? And no I'm not even going to bother asking what's so important about this feather that it can't possibly be salvaged from the broken soarwing which no one really looked at close enough to judge the exact damage done.
Back at the cabin Karis is pissed that AAAAD and Gary are only sending DAAAA and Tyrell get the Mountain Roc feather, which one would think is because she's not going (spoilers: several minutes later, they unceremoniously decide to send her along too), but actually it's because she thinks it'll be too hard for the kids and they should come along to help. What kind of child hero are you, Karis?
Also, AAAAD namedrops a number of landmarks we're going to have to pass through to kill us a Mountain Roc. Thanks, AAAAD, you're a great help.
AND WHY WAS THIS NOT A PROBLEM LAST TIME
No, though I don't think it can possibly be worse than this. Hopefully.
Oh, NO. I jinxed it. AND FOR THE LAST TIME HE KNOWS LITERALLY NOTHING ABOUT ALCHEMY THAT EVERYBODY ELSE DOESN'T.
Yeah. Sure. You guys haven't aged a day and the old guy who was useless in every possible way can't possibly be even more of a wreck thirty years later. What was that you said earlier about AAAAD always being right, Gary?
Oh, you are just the worst, AAAAD. He was clearly off in his own little silent protagonist world while Kraden was saying ANYTHING in the first two games if he places a lick of trust in him. When did Kraden ever demonstrate anything RESEMBLING "genius when it comes to charting a course into the unknown"?
Yes, we already know that's what he needs to do, and yes, we already know that's going to be the point of this entire game. Way to be useless, Tyrell.
AND I'M GLAD HE DIDN'T. All he'd add to the needlessly-long conversation would be more sad emoticons and more lying through his teeth about Kraden being trustworthy. Good riddance. Felix the Cat was always better.
OH DEAR GOD WE'RE ON THE OVER - oh hey, it's Flint.
Of course you have, Flint. I hardly think it counts as a "real adventure" until you take revenge for the deaths of your long-lost son and wife. Don't have a son or a wife? T-O-O BAD!
But not for long.
Because from the sounds of things, we're about to meet Kraden.