Tell Me the Clean Way to Eat a MOS Burger

A 2ch thread from 2007 (!) translated from... definitely probably Japanese. It's all very simple, really.

Also, everything is spelled and typed exactly right. (as it should be).

——

#OP
The insides of those spill out pretty much without fail.

#2ch
I'm al-MOS certain there's no good way.

#2ch
^ I'm disappointed in you.

#OP
I refuse to let the ingredients collect down below once I'm done with the burger.
It's a waste.

#2ch
If you point it up as you eat, it won't collect in the bag, right?

#OP
^ Wouldn't that be embarrassing to do in the restaurant?

#2ch
Don't eat MOS burgers.

#OP
But I wanna.

#??? (ID: EEG+aMnW0)
Whoa, whoa, you don't know...?
First, you hold the above right-hand and opposite corners, yeah?
Then you overlap the ends proper, and spin it 'round to change direction.
Then, take it so the pointed lower part comes out (from the opposite side) and turn it in front of you, precisely.
Then it'll open up just right, so you can slowly sink your teeth in.
That way it'll never fill up in the bag. Perfect.

#2ch
^ I don't get it.

#???
Uh, well, it's a popular way to eat it in my area...
You really don't know...? Maybe I'm being trolled here...

Well first, you open up the bag, yeah?
Once you do that, at first, you've got a rounded square. (because it's a bag)
Then you take the part you're holding with the top left-hand and the opposite edge you're holding with the right hand and overlap 'em, right?
Then, you bring it 'round, and it comes right to you, the lower part does.
(The place the sauce yer talkin' about likes to pile up).
Then, (slowly) turn it. Precise. All exact-like.
With that done, the part that was opposite earlier, the part you can use opens up, so eat from there instead of right-on.
In other words the part that just opened up.
Got that?

#2ch
In Japanese, please.

#2ch
I'm really intrigued, but I don't get it at all...

#2ch
In Englsh please

#2ch
I'm even more confused.
Can you explain with a picture?

#???
Hold on a sec. This method's known by names like "reverse spin," "spinning-open," etc. locally (in my area).
You dunno those? You guys must live someplace really rural or what (I do too, but).

To write the steps backwards:
Ultimately, you want to get the bag (or not the bag) to be exactly right, so when you turn it, you want the lower part to come around, right?
If you can get that, it should be clean, is what it means. So if you can get that it's good.
Of course, to say it in advance, what I mean with the formerly-reverse (?) part is down, y'see.
(You with me so far? Just think about it and get it.)
So, hold it normal.
Then, to leave it like that, if the part you got first is right, and the edge is left, then that'll give you the process to keep it clean.
So when you first open it, it's the left hand (right from the other side), 'course.
Anybody from east Japan should know this.

#2ch
I'm starting to laugh now...
You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

#???
Sorry, got it backwards, haha.

Wrong: Left hand (right from the other side)

Right: Right hand (left from the other side)

Guess you wouldn't get it with a mistake like that, heh.

#2ch
Good luck...!
Keep trying! lol

#2ch
japanese plz

#2ch
Please, tell us properly!!
I'm suffering!!

#???
I drew a diagram, but what's a good uploader (?)?

#2ch
I've got my hopes up for this.

#2ch
Fantastic!

#???
Leave it to me.
I'm not good at art, but I'm pro at diagrams.
People tell me I'm good at teaching, too (sometimes)

No one's telling me a good uploader, so I'll put it up wherever.

#2ch
Good luck!!!!
I really can't wait!!!!!

#2ch
>Leave it to me.
>I'm not good at art, but I'm pro at diagrams.
>People tell me I'm good at teaching, too (sometimes)

I love these sentences, brimming with confidence.
I especially love the last parenthetical...

#???
Got it uploaded.
Top is how to hold, bottom is the movement. Hold the triangle parts.
You could say it follows a timeline.
From top to bottom. (of the image.)
Look at it while looking at the sentences.

A diagram of some kind. There's a burger-like shape on top of some overlapping squares with an arrow pointing to it saying 'SPICY MOS BURGER.' An arrow points to the top-left corner of the squares saying 'hold.' Oo the left, 'turn round' written vertically is connected to the squares via a single line. Crammed in the bottom-right is another note of 'bag.'
Another diagram with roughly the same 'burger on some paper' layout. Crudely-drawn hands hold the bottom-left and bottom-right corners respectively. An arrow curves around the bottom-left corner, and a dotted line crosses diagonally across the paper. In the bottom-right is a down arrow with 'up' written next to it.

#2ch
LMAO

#2ch
The art's so good I lol'd

#2ch
GJ!!
My stomach hurts

What a genius...

#2ch
This is... lol
Who told you you're good at teaching??

#2ch
Sorry... I don't get it at all...

#2ch
I've gone blind...

#2ch
This is hilariously difficult.

#2ch
What's the dotted line?

#2ch
Please, take this seriously!!!
Real talk here!!
What the hell is "↓up"?!? lolllll

#???
Why can't you guys get this thing we can all do in my area (everyone can)...?
I don't suppose you're all sitting behind your monitors going "pfft, this guy's going on about stuff everybody knows etc."...
If you don't get it, take a bag or something and try it out. (in practice)

>What's the dotted line?
The place you should be careful.

>What the hell is "↓up"?!? lolllll
That way's up.

#2ch
>The place you should be careful.
Oh god my abdomen.

#2ch
>Ultimately, you want to get the bag (or not the bag) to be exactly right,
I already gave up here.

#2ch
Sorry... I don't get it one bit.
The more you explain, the more nonsense it gets.

#2ch
So the dotted line in the photo is where you should fold first, right?!

#???
^ That works too, but if you did that (first, right?), you'll absolutely run out of space (probably definitely), and the second-time turnaround will be about half a turn.
In that case, the calculations (as calculated) won't be enough to turn it around, so maybe it'll be messier than my method.
Is is 'cause the process is just too good...?
Or because you come from the left...?

#2ch
There are calculations?!

#2ch
First things first, explain to us from the beginning this fantastic Japanese ability you possess, lmao

#2ch
Ahh... I wonder if EEG+aMnW0's eating process can be put on tables at MOS as a template...?
It might get popular there.

#2ch
Is there even a single person who understands this?
If there is, please explain it in simple words!!!!!!
EEG+aMnW0's explanation has too many technical terms and I'm baffled!!!!

#???
Still people who don't get it? (quite a few?)
What's hard to understand, I wonder...

#2ch
Actually, there's nobody who gets it.

#2ch
There isn't a single part that can be understood.

#2ch
In terms of what post, somewhere around your first post.

#2ch
The trick to eating
A MOS burger non-messy
Is a secret code

#2ch
A challenge from MOS
A trick by a genius
Mystery deepens

#2ch
Okay, so if you fold the edge counterclockwise left from the right, and make the paper angle about 30 degrees, that'll work?

#2ch
1: Fold along dotted line
2: When viewed from above, turn clockwise

I don't understand, but I tried to interpret it.
It's just a deduction...

#???
You guys are just adorable, you know that?
I'll explain it to a friend who knows, to see if they'd understand. (in the area)
Wat a sec for me.

>Okay, so if you fold the edge counterclockwise left from the right, and make the paper angle about 30 degrees, that'll work?
Personally, that phrasing seems more confusing, to me...
For instance, "counterclockwise" - what's it "counterclock" to...?
Besides, surely I didn't say anything about folding (naturally)

>1: Fold along dotted line
>2: When viewed from above, turn clockwise
Don't fold on the dotted line, I said!
Or rather, it's fine if you do. If you're gonna turn it anyway. (rotate)
I mean, it goes fold to turn, but it won't go turn to fold, probably.

#2ch
^ I'm dead.
Sorry for my faulty deduction... LOL

I'm wat-ing eagerly!

#2ch
>You guys are just adorable, you know that?

Pfft, you're the cute one, lol

#2ch
Panel 1: A person holding up their index finger speaks to a person whose head is seen from behind. 'Know how to eat a Mos burger well?' 'Nop' Panel 2 and 3 are the diagrams provided earlier. Panel 4: The same as Panel 1, but with no dialogue.
To make it if only a little easier to get, I made a 4-panel comic.

#???
Okay, I got it.

#2ch
Here we go!!!!!!!!

#2ch
omg!

#???
My friend got my explanation right away. (relatively).
I explained the gist of the thing, and then...
Yeah yeah, I know that, they said. I said "oh yeah?" too. (Relieved)
In other words, saying I'm wrong isn't right, I guess (my explanation)? Is what that means.

So I asked if my explanation was easy to understand. Easy to understand, sure, but I wonder, they said.
Difficult? Hmm, maybe a little. But do you get it or no tget it, which one?
You got it, right? I said, hmm, (forgot) well, anyone should get it they said, maybe if you wrote it they'd get it?
Well so, that was what it was like. (Well, as above are my feelings.)
Is this the same way? This is tough...

#2ch
I don't understand your exchange with your friend one bit either...

#2ch
Is your friend from the third dimension? ><

#2ch
Summary:

First, you hold the above right-hand and opposite corners
Once you do that, first, you've got a rounded square (this is called a "reverse spin," or "spin-open")
Ultimately, you want to get the bag (the bag is a feint) to be exactly right,
(You with me so far? Just think about it and get it)
So, hold it normal.
Anybody from east Japan should know it

#2ch
A drawing of a hand holding a burger upright. A corner of the paper from the bag is brought up around the bottom of the burger and held with the thumb, and the rest of the bag is positioned behind the burger, presumably allowing it to catch at least some spillage.
This is just what I'm getting by feeling, but is it something like this?

#???
Stop laughing and help me explain! Please! LOL

>This is just what I'm getting by feeling, but is it something like this?

Hard to tell where to look from on this diagram, but...
If we're looking from head-on, the burger standing vertical, there's paper on the bottom part (in paper state), going to the other side? (maybe?)
In other words, you're holding the burger with your fingers wrapped on it?
When it spills, won't it spill out the side? (the ingredients)
Especially if it tilts sideways, won't it spill...?
But when it depends on the way you do it (yours)? Which is it? (the explanation) (relating to the picture)

#2ch
You're totally doing this on purpose...
This is hardly even Japanese, lawl

#2ch
How old are you? lol

#2ch
We all know the feeling of wanting help here.

The more he writes, the deeper the mystery gets... Help!!

#2ch
>(in paper state)
Okay this made me lol

#???
'Cause you all keep saying to write it carefully...
I'm trying super hard to write this, y'know.
I'm desperate over here...
I know I'm bad at Japanese, but I've never been told I'm bad at explanations before.
But I want you to get it, so I'll keep trying some more.

#2ch
Good luck lol

#2ch
Keep at it!
We're all rooting for you!!!
We're on your side.
Try your best to explain it!
And we'll do our best to understand!!!!!!

#2ch
Good luck! All told, we're all rooting for you, I think.

#???
Okay, well, I'm going to explain it super clearly (the most)
I'm thinking this is my last chance, it's going to be.
So I'm solely putting my guts into that.

#2ch
Your Japanese is already getting weird...

#2ch
Okay, bring it on!!

#2ch
Just go in order!
A little bit at a time, starting from when you first buy it!!

#???
Got the text ready, to be posted up. In my eyes, I wrote it extremely (fairly) carefully.
Honestly, I didn't think it'd get to this point.
If this doesn't get you to get it, I'm backing out.
Everyone tell me honestly how it goes (if you got it?).

#2ch
Hell yeeeeeah!

#2ch
Your use of parentheses... lol

#2ch
I've got a handkerchief ready.
This might be the first time I'll cry since my uncle died...

#???
Here, with a base on the easiest-to-understand post 47. [The "To write the steps backwards:" one.]

To write the process from the opposite direction: (we're starting at the start. In other words, normal direction)
You buy a freshly-bought burger (in the bag), right? (Or not sometimes)
Take it out.
Hold it while slowly turning the burger itself.
Here, the objective is, (eating the burger cleanly. In summary, not leaving sauce / not spilling / etcetc

Okay so, for the objective, to not get messy, from before you finish eating up to after you finish eating, you keep the bag (or not the bag) (I dunno how to say it) it exactly in place, until the end, depending on the burger, I realized the objective is to make it reliable.

So what do you do? Thinking about it, I had one idea here. (point)
To get it in the final position, () always keep it down from the vertical direction, (though you turn it after,) by turning it 'round or something, of course in practice anything'll do, but in practice your means get limited. And as you well know, you're trying to get the lower part in its final form...
Doing that, that turning method is frontward, or (like was in a reply earlier) you can only go turn to fold, but of course here the latter (and the former) you can't use, so you turn it front. Not toward the back, toward you.

#2ch
My sides...

#2ch
I don't get the very first line... I'm in tears...

#???
(!!! Warning, here of course I'm explaining from the opposite-direction timeline, so all the action stuff is backwards. Warning!!!)
In other words, for instance, when you go turn to fold, in reality is, the order is fold to turn.

So, the part that was the back (of course, since the timeline is backwards, the part that was front, will be front next, up to now (in the above explanation) "was" back), in the way I just said, you need to act so that it comes down. And it means that too, in a sense.
And at that time (when above), regarding your holding hand, if you get it from the top, that's a success, but if you're holding down~ then you have to reverse it, and absolutely from the start you want to plan it so you're holding on the top.

So, to do that, the opposite corner from the opposite of the right-hand (from above, the part that looks folded.)
(The part that looks like an end and an end) (Not the left side, the opposite side from the right)
you just overlap that with the opposite side, and you're good.
But if you just change direction like that, (you won't do that but (of course) for instance)
it'll all spill out like that, so to keep that from happening, next you turn it 'round in the direction opposite that (opposite of hand) (opposite of right-hand), and it's just right.

There was an argument about folding/not folding on the dotted line, but maybe if you do fold it you can still do it, but you'll run out of space, which'll have an impact, so I won't recommend it.

#2ch
The chaos...

#2ch
My god

#2ch
This might be hopeless...

#2ch
Um
I can't

#2ch
Timelines and space... Too advanced for me

#2ch
But why does inverting the timeline reverse front and back too...?

#2ch
This thread really teaches you the importance of being able to explain things.

#???
It's hopeless...

#2ch
Don't give up!!

#2ch
Explain it more complicated, actually.

#???
Alright, I got it.
Thanks to all of you.
I'm departing to a land without MOS burgers. (For a while.).

Once I do, I won't have people telling me you don't need (), don't know what I mean by bring it 'round, this and that with timelines, etc. (so I think).

I liked MOS, but in the new land I'll find some other food I like somehow. (But I won't forget).

#2ch
Wait, wat LOL
Don't run away!

#2ch
Even if you leave, we'll keep doing our best... lol (But I won't forget.)

#2ch
I'll never forget you, either...

#2ch
This usage of parentheses might catch on, lol... (Definitely) maybe.

#2ch
I don't think OP is at fault (maybe)

Posted May 31st, 2016

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