Make Fun of Cinderella, Then Get Emotional at the End

A totally original story, and I won't hear otherwise.


Once upon a time, there was a beautiful and kind girl.
But tragically, the girl's mother passed away while she was still very young.
Afterwards, her father married again, giving the girl a new mother and two older sisters.
Unfortunately for her, the three of them were all very mean-spirited.

Ooh, sadistic older sisters are the best.

Dad's not very faithful, is he? lololol

Her new mother did not care for the girl, who was more beautiful than her own two daughters.
"Hmph, what a horrid girl you are!"
Her stepmother and stepsisters forced all their dirty work onto the girl.
They made her sleep on a crude bed of straw, and her clothes became patchwork and worn.

What a nice stepmother, patching up her clothes for her!

I would have sold her off, personally.
That stepmother is being waaay too nice.

Never allowed to take a bath, she was always covered in cinders from the stove.
For this reason, the three came to call her Cinderella.
As pitiable as Cinderella was, her beauty still far surpassed her sisters.

Beautiful girls in tattered clothes are the best.

A beautiful woman covered in filth...? Where can I get one?!

Holy crap, they're uglier than someone covered in cinders?!

Wow, why was the dad even mentioned? He hasn't been in the story since.

One day, the Prince held a ball at the castle to choose a bride, to which Cinderella's sisters were invited.
"I could become the Prince's bride!"
"Never mind could be, I WILL be!"
The stepsisters and stepmother were very excited.

Cinderella, after assisting the girls with their preparations, saw them off with a smile.
But once they had left, Cinderella grew sad, and wept to herself.
"Oh, how I wish I could go to the ball, and meet the Prince!"
But with her tattered clothes, she would not be allowed entry to the ball.
"Do not cry, Cinderella."
"...? Who is that?"
A fairy godmother appeared before Cinderella's eyes.

A wild old lady appears!
Why the hell does she exist...?

Why would the Prince ever want to marry a commoner?

Fairy godmother, what the hell? Who's that trying to appeal to?

Wait! Maybe she's an old lady in age, but since she's a fairy she looks like a cute girl!

Even the old lady calls her names? Feels bad, Ashputtle.

Is the old lady breaking into her house?

"Cinderella, you are a good child who always does her job well.
To repay your efforts, I shall allow you go to the ball."
"Indeed. First, bring me a pumpkin from the field."
Cinderella did so, and the fairy godmother hit it with her magic wand.
The pumpkin then became very large, and came to resemble a golden carriage.
"My, what a wonderful carriage!"

Why are you so accepting of this weirdo you don't know...

"That isn't the only magic I can provide.
For instance, to pull a carriage, you need horses.
Now, where could I get those from?
...Ah, there's six mice in the mouse trap there."
The fairy godmother took the mice out of the trap and hit them with her magic wand.
In an instant, the mice became stalwart white horses.
A large gray rat was caught in another mouse trap.
"As for this one..."
She hit the rat with her wand, and it turned into a bearded, plump coachman.

"Next, Cinderella, you must catch six lizards for me."
"Yes, fairy godmother!"
Cinderella caught the lizards, and with a touch of the magic wand, they turned into attendants.
"See? A carriage, horses, a coachman, and attendants.
Now, Cinderella, you are ready to go to the ball."
"I'm so glad! Thank you! ...But, in this dress..."
"Hm? Oh dear, I completely forgot."
The fairy godmother waved her wand, and Cinderella's shabby clothes glittered and became a beautiful snow-white dress.
She also gave her wondrous glass slippers to wear.
"Now enjoy yourself, Cinderella.
But remember that my magic will only last until midnight tonight."

Cinderella's got skills to catch six lizards that quick.

Even if her clothes are fancy, she still ain't taken a bath...

Now, when Cinderella appeared at the castle's ball, her beauty brought everyone around her to a hush.
The Prince took notice and approached Cinderella.
"Would you dance with me, miss?"
Cinderella was a very skilled dancer, and the Prince did not let go of her hand for a moment.
The joyous time went by so fast, it was soon ten minutes to midnight.

(man that girl reeks)

How friggin' long were you dancing...

She must be pretty damn confident if she apparently just accepted his dance without any real reaction, huh?
I bet she was really like "Whaaaeeeuuuhhh..."

How did she get good at dancing? I guess she must've been trained to be a lady before her dad remarried? I dunno.

The joyous time went by so fast, it was soon ten minutes to midnight.
"Oh, no...! Good night, sir prince!"
Cinderella politely bowed and hurried out of the hall.
However, in her haste, a glass slipper caught on a stair and came off.
There were only five minutes to midnight, so she had no time to go back for the slipper.
Cinderella jumped on the coach waiting for her and hurried back home.
The Prince came after Cinderella and picked up the dropped slipper.
He said to the King: "I shall marry the woman who owns this glass slipper!"

And how'd you decide THAT, prince?

^ Yeah, doesn't she reek?

Prince has got no manners...

The next day, envoys from the castle went around the land in search of the woman whose foot perfectly fit the slipper.
The envoys finally came to Cinderella's house.
"Girls, if you can fit your feet in this slipper, you will be the Prince's bride!"
"Yes, mother!"
The two stepsisters tried desperately to squeeze their feet in the little glass slipper, but they could not do it.

How did the slipper not come off while she was dancing?

Wait, why didn't the glass slipper disappear?

That's some awfully convenient magic, huh.

Prince is only in it for the looks...

Sounds like someone's catching athlete's foot...

"Unfortunately, the girl from last night doesn't seem to be here."
The castle envoys were about to leave when Cinderella appeared.
"May I try putting it on?"
The two stepsisters burst out laughing.
"What nonsense are you speaking?"
"I know! If we couldn't get it on, why would you... aah!"
When Cinderella tried it on, the glass slipper fit perfectly.
Everyone was too surprised to speak.
"Oh my, I suppose it's my turn?"
The fairy godmother waved her wand, and Cinderella became a princess radiant in her beauty.

Where the hell'd you come from, old bag?!

Surely there had to be SOMEONE else with her size...

How exact is "exactly," here?
Someone's shoe size could change slightly, you know...

The stepmother and stepsisters nearly fell over in surprise.
Cinderella and the Prince were married, and lived happily ever after.

The end.

Good story!

(;∀;) All's well that ends well...

What a twist!!

Congratulations, Cinderella...! What a nice story...

Sorry it went on a bit long, but that's the end of the story.
I'm very grateful for everyone who supported me and kept the thread bumped!
It's all thanks to you that I managed to finish it in just one thread. (It came pretty close...)
Re-reading it now, it could have used more sex scenes, but I think some of the foreshadowing makes it my best work yet.
What people think and feel about this story will likely differ from person to person.
I hope at least some people can read the story and think "I'm going to do my best, too!"
It's been a long road, but I'm truly, truly grateful for everyone who stuck with me.
If I ever start another thread, I hope to see you again! Well, that's all.
Thanks, everyone!

The greatest short story of the century...

There should be an anime of this. Wait, maybe a movie...

Posted December 17th, 2012


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