Woman: "I love you more than anyone!"
A story from 2ch. Who doesn't want a robot around the house?
——
#OP
A fire broke out this morning at the National Research Institute of Mechanical Engineering, which just last month announced an autonomous robot.
The entire complex was destroyed in this fire of unknown origin.
One researcher working at the institute remains unaccounted for, as well as the aforementioned robot.
Otherwise, no deaths or casualties have been reported.
The autonomous robot, which has gathered much attention for its remarkable human likeness...
#OP
Woman: "Hey there!"
Man: "...You've been full of energy all morning."
Woman: "Well, a girl's gotta have something to show for after a decade or two!"
Man: "...I wonder how you mean that."
Woman: "Hmm?"
Man: "Never mind... Breakfast is ready."
Woman: "Woohoo! Let's eat!"
Man: "...You have quite an appetite."
Woman: "Well! Like I said, nothing if not energetic!"
Man: "..."
#OP
Woman: "Man... You're a really well-built guy, eh?"
Man: "Is that not owed to you?"
Woman: "Heh heh, I guess so!"
Man: "Well, I will begin your health checkup."
Woman: "You bet!"
Man: "..."
Woman: "Yeek! Don't touch me!"
Man: "I was just grabbing your hand to take a pulse..."
Woman: "Sheesh, you do that gag every morning."
Man: "..."
#OP
Man: "...No abnormalities."
Woman: "Whew! Thanks to this, I can always stay lively!"
Man: "It is a function you equipped me with..."
Woman: "Heh-heh-heh! Yep, I'm brilliant!"
Man: "You are regarded as a genius worldwide, yes."
Woman: "...Well geez, it's embarrassing if you respond seriously like that."
Man: "Then it would best for me to not say it."
Woman: "Gosh... It's just a joke, okay?!"
Man: "..."
Woman: "Geeeeez!"
#OP
Woman: "Alright, let's water the flowers."
Man: "They're starting to bud."
Woman: "Hehe... It kinda makes me happy to see."
Man: "Makes you... happy?"
Woman: "Yep! ...I know you're not good with "happiness," huh."
Man: "...I am not."
Woman: "Anyway! Wanna go shopping?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "Then let's get ready!"
#OP
Woman: "Good day!"
Clerk: "Ah! Welcome!"
Man: "Are the radishes cheap today?"
Clerk: "They are! Why not take a bunch?"
Woman: "Then let's buy lots!"
Man: "You may regret spending too much."
Woman: "I guess... Fine, I'll use some moderation."
Clerk: "Heh... You make a nice couple."
Woman: "Whaaa?! W-We're not married!"
Clerk: "Oh...? Is that right?"
Man: "I do not remember any marriage forms, no."
Woman: "Geez!"
#OP
Woman: "You know, I was shocked by how rural this place was... But it's a great little town!"
Man: "Yes it is. The air is clean, too."
Woman: "Maybe I'm becoming a country girl..."
Man: "Is that so?"
Woman: "...I'm tellin' you, you really gotta work on your jokes."
Man: "I am trying."
Woman: "Hm."
#OP
Woman: "Good day, Mr. Butcher!"
Butcher: "Oh, Woman, Man! Welcome."
Woman: "Lessee... How's meat and potato stew sound?"
Man: "Yes."
Butcher: "Here you go!"
Man: "Was it you who's cooking dinner tonight?"
Woman: "Yep. You take breakfast and lunch... and I got dinner!"
Butcher: "You two get along, eh?"
Man: "We are newlyweds."
Woman: "Wha?!"
Man: "That was a joke."
Woman: "G... Gah!"
#OP
Woman: "Well now..."
Man: "I shall prepare for lunch."
Woman: "Roger! I'll watch some TV."
*beep*
"...nothing has come to light regarding the whereabouts of the researcher and autonomous robot who went missing three months prior. Additionally, the institute has another -" *beep*
Woman: "..."
Man: "Are you not going to watch TV?"
Woman: "Nah! I thought Tamo'd be on, but I guess not."
Man: "Is that so? Today will be meat sauce."
Woman: "Woo! I love meat sauce!"
#OP
Man: "It is finished."
Woman: "Mmm! Smells great!"
Man: "Let us eat."
Woman: "Dig in!"
Man: "...I'll turn on the TV as well." *beep*
"Let's introduce our guest for today!"
Man: "It would appear she is on."
Woman: "Oh, is that right?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "Huh..."
#OP
Woman: "Good meal!"
Man: "Thank you."
Woman: "You're a really good cook!"
Man: "I simply followed the recipe."
Woman: "Well, you're good at that!"
Man: "I see."
Woman: "Oh yeah, washing. I'll do it!"
Man: "Please."
Woman: "See ya in a minute!"
#OP
Woman: "I'm still really impressed with you..."
Man: "Why is that?"
Woman: "I mean, you're able to do aaall this stuff in just four months!"
Man: "...That is thanks to your development."
Woman: "Hehe, yeah. I'm a genius, huh?"
Man: "You're becoming a braggart."
Woman: "Oh? That was snappy, I like it!"
Man: "Thank you very much."
Woman: "Heheh..."
#OP
Woman: "Yaaawn! So sleepy..."
Man: "Will you take a nap?"
Woman: "Guess so! ...Mmm... ha!"
Man: "What are you doing?"
Woman: "Heh heh... I wanna sleep in your lap!"
Man: "Very well."
Woman: "Boy, you even... feel like... a hu... man... zzz..."
Man: "...That's how you made me."
Man: "...Human... Yes, of course."
#OP
"...Where's..."
"Oh, you're awake!"
"...Who are you?"
"...I'm a researcher at the National Research Institute of Mechanical Engineering. And so are you."
"You were caught in a small-scale explosion at the institute. ...It caused you some loss of memory. Particularly regarding matters of this institute."
"I see... What was I researching?"
"You research robots."
"Robots?! Like what?"
"...Like this."
"...Good day."
"Wooow! It's just like a human!"
#OP
Woman: "...Ahhh."
Man: "You're awake? It's already 4 PM."
Woman: "Really? I slept a while, huh..."
Man: "...You slept too much."
Woman: "I'll watch TV." *beep*
"Peach pie is all the rage these -" *beep*
"You thieving little cat!!"
Man: "You seem to quite like TV."
Woman: "Yeah, it's okay." *beep*
"Even the whereabouts of the previous model -" *beep*
"Couldn't be further from the truth! ♪" *beep*
Woman: "Nothin' good..."
Man: "Well, why don't you make preparations for dinner?"
Woman: "Yawn... Sure."
#OP
Woman: "Dinner's all set!"
Man: "It is still only 5:30, though."
Woman: "Well, I didn't make it so it could go cold. So let's eat now, okay?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "Heheh. Chow time!"
Man: "Let us eat."
Woman: "Ooh, this is delish!"
Man: "You've improved."
Woman: "Heeheeeee!"
#OP
Woman: "Hey! Let's go for a walk!"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "Here we go!"
Woman: "Still pretty chilly for spring."
Man: "Indeed."
Woman: "Ooh! A white clover!"
Man: "..."
Woman: "...Hee."
Man: "What is it?"
Woman: "There's something so nice about spring."
Man: "...Is that so?"
#OP
Woman: "Can we go over to that shore?"
Man: "Certainly."
Woman: "Woo! ...Hup!" *jump*
Man: "..." *jump*
Woman: "...Hey."
Man: "Yes?"
Woman: "Why'd you take me to this island?"
Man: "..."
Woman: "Why'd you burn down the institute?"
#OP
Woman: "I don't remember anything from back then... So I dunno what happened. I'd be glad if you told me."
Man: "..."
Woman: "No dice?"
Man: "...It's for your protection."
Woman: "Huh?"
Man: "It is getting dark. Let us go home."
Woman: "Ah! Wait up... You're too fast!!"
Man: "You are too slow."
Woman: "Master of jokes, you are..."
#OP
Woman: "Hey! Let's sleep together!"
Man: "Why?"
Woman: "...'Cause it's cold!"
Man: "...Very well. Go ahead."
Woman: "Hehe!" *poke poke*
Man: "Please stop."
Woman: "...zzz..."
Man: "..."
*click*
Man: "..."
#OP
Man: "..." *clackclack*
"...Research Institute for... robot... body... previous model... brain..."
Man: "..." *clack*
"...a total of 27 researchers taken in for questioning. A warrant has also been issued for the arrest of the still-missing..."
Man: "..."
*click*
Woman: "..." *snore*
Man: "...Please, remain as knowledgeable as you are."
#OP
Woman: "...mmm..." *smack*
Man: "Good morning."
Woman: "Yo... Ah, I'm on breakfast duty today, huh."
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "Heehee... Trust in your professional sunny-side-upper!"
Man: "I wish you luck. ...Also, it appears the TV will not turn on today."
Woman: "Huh? Why?"
Man: "...The cord appears to be broken."
Woman: "Aw, man..."
#OP
Woman: "Here ya go!"
Man: "Thank you very much."
Woman: "No prob! ...Ah, TV time!" *beep*
*bzzz*
Man: "...Did I not mention it will not turn on?"
Woman: "Ah, nuts, you did..."
Man: "I will buy a new cord."
Woman: "Good thing I can count on you!"
#OP
Woman: "Well, I'm gonna go shopping now."
Man: "See you."
Woman: "Aye-aye, sir!"
*click*
Man: "..." *rummage*
*beep*
"...I'm standing here in front of the National Research Insti -" *beep*
"Both a previous model and the new model of robot - " *beep*
"National Re -" *beep*
"Robo -" *bzzz*
Man: "..."
Man: "Sooner than I expected..."
#OP
"Hey, if you're a robot, why do you work at the institute?"
"The robots work alongside the others at this institute to assist their growth."
"Hmph... Hey, you should tell me about the institute!"
"Hm... Perhaps you should rest a little? You were in an explosion, after all."
"Whaaa?! But that's boring!!"
"Very well... Man, could you play with her?"
"...Understood."
"Jerk!!"
"You'll be able to take part in a little while."
#OP
"...male type... body... memory... artificial intelligence..."
"Books are BORING!!!"
"You shouldn't say that."
"You can understand these, Man?! Wooow! How does a robot figure this stuff out? Isn't it hard learning a bunch of stuff?"
"If you say so."
"You're way more amazing than humans like me!"
"...Is that so?"
"...seahorse... transplant... combination... memory... intelligence..."
#OP
"...Man, I wanna plaaay!"
"Huh, is this a lab...?"
"Man, I wanna plaaay!" *click*
"!! Y-You! Didn't I tell you not to come in?!"
"Well, Man... Huh? What's..."
"!"
"Wha...? W... AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"!!"
"WAAAAAHHHHH!! Nooo! NOOO!!"
"! This is bad... Treat her immediately!"
"Yes!"
#OP
"...mmm..."
"Good morning."
"Huh? I... huh, Man?"
"Yes."
"I was looking for you... huh?"
"You fell asleep while reading a book."
"Really? ...I sorta remember something really bad happening..."
"...It must have been a dream. Forget it."
"Hm..."
#OP
"...Not good. The press is coming..."
"Man, let's plaaay!"
"...We should play outside today."
"Okay!"
"...Take off that lab coat and put on something else."
"Huh? Why? You're a perv, Man!!"
"..."
"Heehee... Hey, do up my hair!"
"...Certainly."
#OP
"Man, I wanna sleep..."
"..."
"Maaan?"
"Let us run away from here."
"Uh?"
"...You should not stay here."
"Huh? Man?"
"Let's go!" *grab*
"Huh?! Ow! Where are we going?!"
#OP
"...I'm sorry, everyone... I..."
"Man? What's that?"
"..."
"Huhhh?! Why's the institute... Ah, you shouldn't play with fire!"
"..." *fwoosh*
"Huh...? Why did you... set the... huh?"
"...Let's run."
"But everything will burn up if you don't put that out!!"
"I said hurry!!"
"...!"
#OP
"...Why..."
"...We'll reach a nearby island soon."
"Why did you set the..."
"..."
"Why did you do that...?" *sniff*
"...I just..."
"...Sniff... wah..."
"I just wanted to protect you."
#OP
Man: "...Was it all for naught?"
Man: "...At this rate, they'll find h -"
Woman: "Yo!" *click*
Man: "!! ...Welcome home."
Woman: "Well, I bought a bunch of curry stuff, so guess it's curry tonight!"
Man: "...Yes."
Woman: "And for lunch... Let's go with pilaf!"
Man: "..."
#OP
Man: "..."
Woman: "Hm-hm-hm-hmmm..."
Man: (...! I forgot to pull the plug on the TV...)
Woman: "Pila-pila-pilaf..."
Man: (...I'll hide the remote...)
Woman: "Stirra-stirra-stir..."
Man: (...Up on these shelves...)
Woman: "? Whatcha doing?"
Man: "!! ...Nothing."
Man: (...That was close.)
#OP
Woman: "Aaall ready!"
Man: "Let us dig in."
Woman: "Yep! Time for good eats!"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "I'll turn on the TV... oh right, won't work, huh?"
Man: "Yes."
Woman: "It's rough for a coach potato girl... Huh? Where's the remote?"
Man: "..."
Woman: "...?"
#OP
Woman: "Time for bed, I guess..."
Man: "You're retiring already?"
Woman: "...I'm good for today."
Man: "Is that so?"
Woman: "...Well, anyway! Night!"
Man: "Good night."
Woman: "..."
#OP
Man: "..."
Man: "2 AM...?"
Man: "They must be asleep, too..."
Man: "...I can't let that news report be seen."
Man: "...Hm?"
...addition... ally...
Man: "I hear something..."
Man: "!! It can't be...!"
#OP
*slam*
"At the institute, nineteen dead bodies were dissected, with parts of their brains extracted..."
Woman: "..."
Man: "!!"
"...for use in creating autonomy in both the priorly-announced robot and a previous model as well."
Man: "Turn it off!"
Woman: "...Stop!!"
Man: "!!"
"Suspects have been identified, and a warrant has been issued for the arrest of the currently-missing researcher."
Woman: "..."
Man: "..."
#OP
Woman: "...What is this...?"
Man: "...It is what it is."
Woman: "The missing researcher is... me?"
Man: "..."
Woman: "I used dead human brains for you? That's where your intelligence comes from?"
Man: "..."
Woman: "I don't get it... I don't get it at all!"
Man: "..."
Woman: "I don't understand! Tell me!!"
#OP
Woman: "So this is what you meant about protecting me..."
Man: "..."
Woman: "And keeping me away from the TV..."
Man: "..."
Woman: "..."
Man: "...I'm sorry."
Woman: "Huh?"
Man: "...I'll tell you everything."
Woman: "...Okay."
#OP
Man: "...As the report stated, the new robot... and though I never saw it, an old model of robot as well, made use of human brains."
Woman: "..."
Man: "In short, the knowledge and even personality of the robot came from the deceased owners of those brains... a combination of those nineteen."
Woman: "..."
Man: "And with all the functions of human brain, that made autonomy possible."
Woman: "...I don't get it... Why would I do that...?"
Man: "..."
#OP
Woman: "I don't understand why... but I was in favor of it at the time, wasn't I...?"
Man: "..."
Woman: "I don't remember that at all, but... I would have been arrested for it, right?"
Man: "..."
Woman: "So that's why you took me away here... Thank you."
Man: "...No."
Man: "Huh?"
Man: "...That's not right."
#OP
Man: "...The one who'd get arrested is... me, not you."
Woman: "Huh? But you're..."
Man: "...Researcher No. 28... That's me."
Woman: "Huh?"
Man: "...I am..."
Woman: "Huh?"
Man: "...You are..."
#OP
"...So after she's been shown to the public, her memories of it will be erased... and she'll be treated like a member of the institute."
"Sigh..."
"But that story won't seem very consistent if there's no other robots around..."
"So you're saying you want me to pretend I'm a robot? Some job I get."
"Please! It's crucial she thinks she's human if her autonomy is to develop!"
"...Understood."
"Thank you, Man!"
#OP
Woman: "Huh...?"
Man: "...In short, I'm not a robot..."
Woman: "No way..."
Man: "...It's you who's the robot."
Woman: "...You're lying."
Man: "...I'm not."
Woman: "...So then, why did you do all this...?"
#OP
Man: "...Because I fell in love with you."
Woman: "...!"
Man: "So I thought... How shocking would it be for you to learn the truth? That your mind came from the brains of dead humans?"
Woman: "..."
Man: "The press already knew the location of the institute."
Woman: "..."
Man: "...All the research, the fact you're a robot... It would have been only a matter of time before the public knew."
#OP
Man: "...So I burned down the institute to destroy the evidence. And I fled here with you."
Woman: "..."
Man: "It was all to protect you."
Woman: "...I see."
Man: "...But that's over now, unfortunately."
Woman: "...You know, I..."
Man: "...Yes?"
#OP
Woman: "I'm honestly just stunned. I don't want to believe it."
Man: "..."
Woman: "...But there's one thing I'm glad for."
Man: "...?"
Woman: "The fact you're human."
Man: "..."
Woman: "Because that means I've proven... that robots can love, too."
Man: "..."
#OP
Woman: "...I love you, okay?"
Man: "..."
Woman: "I'm thankful to everyone at the institute for giving me this feeling."
Man: "But..."
Woman: "...Yeah. And to those nineteen people, too... That's why I want to go back there."
Man: "...Yes. I'll surrender myself as well."
Woman: "...I'm sorry. You did this all for me..."
Man: "It's fine. It's all I ever wanted."
Woman: "...Thank you."
#OP
Woman: "...Hey, can we sleep together one last time?"
Man: "...Yes."
Woman: "Heheh..."
Man: "..."
Woman: "...Um, I'd like it if you said you love me, too."
Man: "...Sure."
Woman: "Sure?! I said SAY it!!"
Man: "...Very well..."
#OP
"This just in. At 2:16 AM, the escaped researcher turned themselves in to the National Police Agency. They were arrested on the spot."
Man: "...I love you."
Woman: "Heehee..."
Man: "..."
"The researcher was designated No. 30, and possessed identification as such. In addition, it would appear No. 29 was skipped over for the purposes of cultivating their robots."
Woman: "I love you, too."
Man: "...Yes."
Woman: "I love you more than anyone!"
#OP
"The two still-missing autonomous robots, namely the old-model young male robot and and priorly-announced female robot..."
Man: "...Good night."
"...are soon to be remotely disabled by a chief researcher in order to prevent any deterioration of parts or possible malfunction."
Woman: "...Yeah. Night."
"We've been told that the two robots have just now been shut down."
End
#vghime
Don't worry, I'm a little confused too.
(Click to read analysis)
The last post certainly means to imply that both Man and Woman were robots, but it's rather confusing, and I'm unsure if I'm interpreting it quite right. Heck, maybe the author just made a mistake somewhere, who knows.
The numbers, for reference: They're able to take in 27 researchers for questioning, Man tells Woman he's No. 28, the news says No. 29 is "skipped" because of the robots (implying it was used by Woman), and the one who turns themselves in is No. 30 (and they were able to prove it).
There's at least one immediate problem: If there were two robots thinking they're human researchers, then why does the report only mention 29? I guess it could just be that No. 30 didn't tell the news everything they know, for whatever reason.
Now, one might think that, since Man said he'd turn himself in, the news report is actually after they fall asleep - at 2:14 AM the NEXT day. This would mean Man was No. 30, lied about being No. 28 for no reason, and completely screwed up Chekhov's gun re: the male robot. BUT THAT'S SILLY SO FORGET I EVEN SAID IT.
Thus, we can assume the news report is taking place as Man and Woman fall asleep. So No. 30 has to be someone else entirely, seemingly unrelated to Man and Woman. But why would No. 30 turn themselves in (2:14 AM) right after the revelation to Woman (approx. 2 AM) if they were unrelated?
The key seems to be Man saying "at this rate, they'll find h -" He's not talking about Woman, but No. 30. (In Japanese, the verb is ambiguous and it could be either gender. I do my best.) Sure, it's still rather coincidental timing, but it kinda works.
However, if Man knew No. 30 was the missing researcher and not him, then he should have been able to conclude he's the other robot. ...So he probably did, and just didn't tell Woman. This also opens the possibility of Man contacting No. 30, removing the coincidental part.
So does it work out? Sort of, I think. Is it confusing? You bet, or the name of this planet isn't Elizabeth Ijuin.