drunk (from Kenshi Yonezu's diary)

I like to drink beer. If I have time for it, I drink. I drink when I'm with others, of course, and I also drink when I'm alone. The drink holders in my fridge at home are usually fully occupied by beer bottles; the only other thing in there is a single pack of miso I'm uncertain when I last used. I don't need anything to go with alcohol. Basically, if I have beer, or whiskey, or sake, I'm happy. I like drinking beer so much that it sometimes gets me fearful about diseases associated with drinking, like gout and diabetes.

When I tell people at work about how I like to drink, most find it surprising. The notion that the act of drinking goes along with communication with others probably doesn't match very well with other people's image of me. Some have even told me they can't imagine me drinking and living it up with someone. As far as that goes, I think there's just a slight difference in perception between people who know me well and people who've only listened to my music, but it's true, I don't think my music gives off that impression much.

When I was drinking with a friend the other day, we talked about our admiration of Akiyuki Nosaka and Ramo Nakajima. Needless to say, those two have the scent of alcohol on them. Seeing a drunken Akiyuki Nosaka getting ready to fistfight Nagisa Oshima is always a delight, and it's pretty doubtful many of Ramo Nakajima's essays were written sober. I don't really get the feeling that I'm of the same breed as them, but I feel a bit of commonality in their destructive behavior.

What I think is, drinking is a perfect match for a timid spirit. Whenever you get thinking about all this stuff you don't need to be, drinking lets needless self-consciousness escape out your fully-packed brains, like unplugging a beach ball to let out air. In shogi or go, an overthought move commonly turns out to be a bad one; similarly, if you get lost in your thoughts, the big picture gets blurry, and you lose sight of what needs to be plucked out. When you drink, things get simple, for better or worse, and you won't miss the objective you need to reach. Solely in terms of function, it's like glasses. Looking through the lenses of glasses complements your weak eyesight, and numbing your high-strung nerves with alcohol lets you see what you need to see. "Opposite glasses," so to speak.

If we say that life means gradually depending on numerous things, I guess I'm living depending on beer. Much the same way as a person who can't get on without glasses. Using the word "dependence" makes it sound somehow troubling, and some would say heavy drinkers generally are destructive people like Akiyuki Nosaka or Ramo Nakajima, but if one can keep within a proper dosage (though this is easier said than done), surely you can get along with it as a wonderful neighbor.

This was the result of writing "I like to drink beer" and then the rest without thinking about it. I'm not really sure myself if this is what I wanted to write or not. I did technickally write it while sober, but I certainly hope these words don't serve as self-deception for heavy drinkers.

Posted April 16th, 2017


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