Baked Pancake (from Kenshi Yonezu's diary)

Sort of before I knew it, summer ended and it got cool outside. Reading back over my blog, I notice I reference "summer ending" quite a bit, so apparently this time of year holds a special importance to me. Oddly enough, I don't know myself very well. Often I have other people telling me about me.

I'm coming out with a new album. It releases on November 1st. The title is BOOTLEG. Today will be the last recording session for it, and as the last, I think it'll be the most important. I'm really looking forward to it. I think this is a super good album. I can say that with confidence. Though it feels like I do that every time.

I returned home for the first time in about two months. When I get to work, I become trapped in my workplace like canned goods are trapped in a can. It's not like anyone's even forcing me, it's just that if I don't do it that way, I get restless. At times I feel like I'm cursed by music. Whatever I do, I end up thinking about music. Whatever I look at, I search it to see if there are lyrics and melody hidden deep inside. If you have a healthy mind and body, there's nothing better than that. Yet I simply can't separate myself from the sensation of music sucking up my lifeforce. I regret having hurt those around me due to those bad habits. But it was I who chose this, so oh well. It's pretty fun, music. Just can't quit it, no matter what.

I remember one time, when I was generally exhausted and considering moving somewhere, I dunno, happy-looking (sorry) like Dubai or Hawaii, I was spacing out and watching people come and go down the street, making myself look as if I was waiting for somebody. I remember imagining how, inside of each and every person passing from right to left, from left to right, there were dozens of years of experience and memory packed tight within, and being dazed by that sheer volume of information. I remember trying to determine how many common points could be found in that massive denominator, even between people who 120% don't agree with each other. Faced with such hugely inflated numbers as if from a fighting manga with no sense of planning, I couldn't help but laugh. As I laughed, I noticed myself desperately searching for something that may or may not actually exist, and felt foolish. Space is huge. There's no way to know whether or not there's life on Europa, but life is more interesting if you think there is. Thinking to myself how it'd be nice if they happened to naturally find it before I died, I bought a coffee at the convenience store and went home for the day.

Posted September 10th, 2017

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