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Mom: "Going out?" Hero: "Just gonna save the world."

A short story from 2ch about, well... how to save the world.

——

#OP
Mom: "Again?"
Hero: "W-What do you mean, again?"
Mom: "Didn't you just do that last year?"
Hero: "Well yeah, but the dark lord revived, and I..."
Mom: "Will you be out late?"
Hero: "I'll be back by dinner."
Mom: "Make sure to look both ways."
Hero: "Yeah, yeah. See you."

#OP
*brrring*
Hero: "Hello?"
King: "Hero? It's me!"
Hero: "Good morning, your highness."
King: "Sorry to break it to you suddenly, but the dark lord has revived!"
Hero: "Yeah, I'm off to beat him now."
King: "Incredible! That's our hero, always quick on the update!"
Hero: (I got a text about him reviving this morning...)
King: "Yes, yes, very good. Well, good luck!"
*click*
Hero: "...And to think he used to be begging me on hands and knees."

#OP
Hero: "Not gonna be easy alone..."
Hero: "I'll text Witch, I guess."
Hero: ""Are you free today? How 'bout dark lord hunting?" Sent!"
Hero: "...Maybe I'll loiter at the store in the meantime."
*bzzz*
Hero: "Oh, she replied already."
Hero: "Guess she's pretty bored too..."

#OP
Thirty minutes later.
Hero: "About time."
Witch: "Sorry to ke..."
Hero/Witch: "ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!"
Hero: "We're hunting a dark lord! What's with the carefully-applied makeup?! And the high heels?!"
Witch: "Who wears a jersey to a date?! And that bed-head, yeesh!"
Hero: "Date?"
Witch: "Hunting a dark lord?"
Hero: "Please READ my texts..."
Witch: "God, why do you never text me for anything but this crap..." *mumble*
Hero: "You say something?"
Witch: "NOTHING."
Witch: "Least, I'm not gonna tell you and your stupid jersey..."

#OP
Witch: "Wait, am I the only one you called?"
Hero: "I texted Knight too, but nothing yet."
Witch: "Sheesh! Think he'd care more about the fate of the world!"
Hero: "...You'd think."
*bzzz*
Hero: "Ah, here we go."
Knight: "sry g2g 2 work"
Hero: "Geez, you can't try to juggle world peace and a job..."
Hero: "The world's gotten so cheap these days, I swear."

#OP
Hero: "Lessee here... Monk doesn't believe in cellphones."
Hero: "Fighter's started a restaurant, so he definitely won't bother."
Hero: "Think Dancer broke a leg in a breakdancing competition."
Hero: "And Playboy just tries to extort me every time we meet."
Witch: "Sigh..."
Hero: "Eh, I'm sure you'll be enough."
Witch: "Hee..."
Hero: "Oh yeah, one of the neighborhood kids is coming along too, 'kay?"
Witch: "Guh?"
Hero: "Y'know, er... the one who wanted to go on a "field trip." Or whatever."

#OP
Kid: "Sorry I made you wait!"
Witch: "My, my, but we weren't waiting, were we?"
Kid: "Huh?"
Hero: "Don't be a weirdo, Witch."
Witch: "Yeah but..."
Hero: "Anyway, more importantly. You think you're going to war or somethin', kid?"
Kid: "Huh? Aren't we going to beat the dark lord?"
Hero: "Why would you even need a sword?"
Kid: "Huh?"
Hero: "Ditch the armor too."
Kid: "Huh?"
Hero: "And what's all that crap you're carrying?"
Kid: "It's gonna be an epic adventure, right? I've got changes of clothes, food, and some other necessi..."
Hero: "It's a day trip, doofus. Leave it."
Kid: "But, wait, what...?"

#OP
Witch: "Kid must only know what he's read in history books."
Hero: "Ah, that'd be it. He doesn't know how things really are."
Kid: "...?"
Hero: "Guess this should be a good "field trip" after all."
Kid: "So Mr. Hero and witch girl are going to beat the dark lord, right?"
Witch: "C-Can't I be "Mrs. Witch"?! Rude!" *pout*
Hero: "That's right."
Kid: "You're going to save the world?"
Hero: "Yep."
Kid: "Then why a jersey? Why're you empty-handed?"
Kid: "Why's she in a miniskirt, with curls and high heels?"
Kid: "Are those eyelashes supposed to be weapons for if the dark lord kidnaps you?"
Witch: "What kind of education are they giving you...?"

#OP
Hero: "That's a lot of questions, but you'll see if you come along."
Hero: "But first, let's get a bite to eat."
Witch: "Agreed!"
Kid: "What?! No way! You have to hurry! The dark lord! THE WORLD!"
Hero: "Can't make the trip on an empty stomach."
Hero: "Plus..."
Kid: "Plus?"
Hero: "I've had a craving for gyoza since yesterday."
Kid: "..."
Witch: "This is the hero you worshipped, see?"
Witch: "Ain't he the coolest? ♪"
Kid: "Wha?!"

#OP
Hero: "Ahh, tasty."
Kid: "Thanks for paying for the meal!"
Hero: "Don't sweat it."
Hero: "Sucks how few places give discounts to heroic parties these days, though..."
Witch: "Yeah, and "discount" nothing to begin with. It was free!"
Kid: "...Why's that?"
Hero: "Hm?"
Kid: "Didn't you save the world?"
Kid: "So then... that's really weird!"
Kid: "It sounds like barely anyone respects you for it!"
Hero: "Sure are a curious kid, ain'tcha..."
Kid: "..."
Hero: "Lemme just say this."
Hero: "I've saved the world 23 times by now."
Kid: "Huh?"

#OP
Kid: (23 times...?)
Witch: "Does he have any money on him?"
Hero: "Eh, it's nothing. I can pay it."
Kid: "Huh? But you just paid for the meal!"
Kid: "I can pay travel expenses if you need it!"
Hero: "It's fine, it's just a train ticket."
Kid: "Huh?"
Hero: "It's about 1000 yen round-trip."
Kid: "Not a... a carriage? Or a boat?"
Witch: "Kid plays too many video games..."
Hero: "What was it, Nagoya first?"
Witch: "That wasn't it! Your memory's faulty!"
Kid: "The subway...?"

#OP
Kid: "Thanks for the ticket!"
Hero: "Gotta thank me for everything, don'tcha?"
Kid: "Do you pay for yourself, too?"
Hero: "Nah, I've got a commuter ticket."
Kid: "A what?!"
Hero: "It's issued by the kingdom."
Hero: "They used to just recognize me by face..."
Hero: "But then a bunch of morons started pretending to be heroes to get in."
Witch: "Which is how things got to now."
Hero: "Stubbly guys trying to do that and getting reported to the police was pretty funny, though."

#OP
Hero: "It'll be about 30 minutes. You should take a nap."
Kid: "I'm too excited to sleep!"
Hero: "Yeah, I used to be that way once."
Witch: "Hee, those were the days."
Hero: "When I lost you in the Lost Woods, I was totally panicking."
Kid: "What happened with Witch?!"
Witch: "H-Hey, don't talk about that!"
Hero: "This dummy had to take a leak and got lost -"
Witch: "AKLSHJSHKASKAJ"
\ Please be quiet in the train! /
Hero: "Geez, calm down, you!"
Kid: "What's "taking a leak"?"
Hero: "Boy, you're young..."

#OP
\ Last stop, Dark Lord's Castle! The exit is on your left. /
Hero: "We're here! Time to get off."
Kid: "We're the only ones on the train..." *gulp*
Hero: "Nobody'd come out to this busted old place."
Witch: "Plenty of tourists when the station was first finished, though."

#OP
Kid: "Whoa, what a huge forest..."
Hero: "These're the Lost Woods."
Witch: "AKA the Forest of Death."
Witch: "Called that 'cause of all the people who died here trying to stop the dark lord."
Kid: "Whoa! That's super dangerous!"
Hero: "Meh."
Kid: "That's... very cocky of you, Mr. Hero..."
Hero: "Well, there's a road built now, is all."
Witch: "But if you want scary, there's the direct underground tunnel too."
Kid: "Huh?"
Hero: "Yeah, the squirrels live down there."
Kid: "Aw, that sounds cute!"
Witch: "Er, they're like three meters long is the thing..."
Kid: "I wanna see the tunnel!"

#OP
Hero: "Hm, air's not too bad down here."
Kid: "Are there no monsters?"
Hero: "Oh, there're plenty. But they've got electro-magnetic waves or something along the path to keep 'em away."
Witch: "Yeah, 'cept it only works on low-level monsters."
Kid: "Wait, then what about the high-level ones?"
Hero: "Oh, they just show up. Like that."
*thoom* *thoom* *thoom*
Kid: "Huh?"

#OP
Kid: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHH!!"
Witch: "My, it's a dragon."
Kid: "YOU COULDN'T EVEN BEAT THAT WITH THREE TAAAAAAAAAANKS!!"
Hero: "Awfully specific of you, kid..."
Kid: "I LIKE READING MONSTER ENCYCLOPEDIAAAAAAAAAAS!!"
Witch: "So collected for being so restless..."
Dragon: "Grrr..."
Kid: "HE NOTICED USSSSSSSSSS!!"
Hero: "God, you're annoying..."
Kid: "BUT THIS IS SO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!"

#OP
Dragon: "..."
*thoom* *thoom* *thoom*
Kid: "Huh? It left...?"
Hero: "And we'll be on our way, too."
Witch: "High-level monsters have plenty of experience and wisdom to go with it."
Witch: "They know what's gonna happen, yeah?"
Kid: "Wow! Even if you're lame, you still really are heroes!"
Hero: "What do you mean lame?"
Witch: "Man, my feet are starting to hurt..."
Hero: "'Cause you wore high heels like a doofus."
Hero: "Oh, as it happens, the squirrels're stronger than the dragons."
Kid: "Huh?"
Hero: "Things'll rip you apart in seconds."

#OP
Kid: "It's pretty far away..."
Hero: "Wouldn't you find it weird if it were close?"
Kid: "Well, when you make a subway station just for it, that shouldn't..."
Witch: "Full of complaints, aren't you?"
Kid: "...Sorry."
Hero: "Stop it, you two... See, we're getting close now."
Kid: "Whoa, that castle is super imposing!"
Kid: "It's got the bats and everything..."
Witch: "Sorry to smash your hopes, but ain't those pigeons?"
Kid: "Huh?"
Kid: "...Oh, yeah, I see the poop all over the castle..."
Hero: "Imposing's right."
Witch: "In what sense...?"

#OP
Hero: "We're here."
Kid: "Whoa, what a huge gate!"
Witch: "Thing impresses me every time, to be honest."
Kid: "What do we do?! Do you have the key?!"
Hero: "Huh?"
Kid: "Oh! So you'll break it down with punches and magic! Whoa!!!"
Hero: "Er, we kinda just use the intercom..."
Kid: "Huh?"
Witch: "Poor kid's disturbed..."
Kid: "Why am I considered the weird one...?"

#OP
*ding dong*
"Yes?"
Hero: "It's Hero."
"Ah, I'll get the door!"
*rumbleumbleumble*
Kid: "It's an automatic door..."
Witch: "You gonna stop having your hopes smashed sometime soon?"
Kid: "Um... not... yet?"
Hero: "Let's get inside."
Kid: "Whoa, I just noticed the flower garden..."

#OP
*click*
Dark Queen: "Hello there!"
Hero: "Hey."
Dark Prince: "Mama, who're they?"
Dark Queen: "It's Hero and Witch!"
Dark Prince: "Oh! Hello!"
Witch: "Hello."
Kid: "..."
Hero: "We actually brought someone else along today."
Dark Queen: "Oh, what a cute little child!"
Dark Queen: "I'm getting tea ready, so please, sit."
Hero: "I know I say this every time, but thanks."
Kid: "Am I dreaming this?"

#OP
Witch: "The tea's delicious! ♪"
Dark Queen: "Ohoh... ♪"
Kid: (We're being shown such hospitality considering we're behind enemy lines...)
Dark Prince: "Don'tchu like chocolate cake?"
Kid: "No, I do, it's just..."
Dark Prince: "Anyway, we should play!"
Kid: "Er, but..."
Hero: "Go on, play with him."
Dark Prince: "Let's gooo!" *grab*
Kid: "Wait, hold on!"
Witch: "Ahh, kids are so innocent..."
Hero: "Yeah..."

#OP
*click*
Dark Lord: "I'm back!"
Dark Queen: "Welcome home, honey!"
Hero: "Yo."
Witch: "Hi there."
Dark Lord: "Ah, if it isn't Hero and Witch! It's been too long."
Hero: "Only about three months, dude."
Dark Lord: "Gahaha! How're things?"
Hero: "Still pretty much unemployed, so nothin' much happening."

#OP
Hero: "Where were you?"
Dark Lord: "Off to check on my monsters."
Dark Queen: "How are they?"
Dark Lord: "They're being very good. Very obedient, yes."
Hero: "Huh, so..."
Dark Lord: "What is it?"
Hero: "Nah, nothin'."
Dark Lord: "Just you two, is it? I really wanted to see the others."
Witch: "Sorry. Everybody's busy."
Dark Lord: "All things change, I suppose... It's a shame, it really is."
Hero: "..."

#OP
Dark Lord: "You know, I was reminded of something while taking a stroll outside the castle."
Hero: "What's that?"
Dark Lord: "Namely, the day you first appeared before me."
Witch: "Ah, yes..."
Hero: "We had to try the Lost Woods five times 'til we got to the castle, yeah?"
Dark Lord: "Gahaha! Would be no fun if you could get here easy."
Dark Queen: "And as I recall, Fighter kicked down the gate when you arrived."
Dark Lord: "What a shame, after I hid the key in the Cave of Demons and everything..."
Hero: "You used to love that sorta stuff, huh."
Dark Lord: "Well, I had nothing better to do."
Dark Queen: "Incidentally, the same reason we ended up with a child."
Witch: "W-Whoa, now..."
Hero: "You get embarrassed easy, don't you?"

#OP
Dark Lord: "Our first battle was fierce!"
Hero: "Yeah, totally life or death."
Witch: "I was sure I was a goner."
Hero: "And Playboy actually did die."
Dark Lord: "Playboy... I couldn't believe my eyes when he attacked me with a yoyo."
Hero: "That thing hurts way more than you'd think."
Witch: "And you know that why?"
Hero: "Sometimes he'd tell me "get down!" and swing it at my leg."
Dark Lord: "And dragged you along the ground, I assume?"
Hero: "It's no wonder why that guy pisses me off..."

#OP
Dark Lord: "Our second battle was fierce as well!"
Hero: "Yep."
Dark Lord: "And our third!"
Witch: "Yeah."
Dark Lord: "By the fourth, something felt a bit off..."
Hero: "...Yeah."
Dark Lord: "After the fifth, your party started shrinking in size."
Witch: "Still won, though."
Dark Lord: "After the tenth time, my attacks couldn't even hit anymore."
Hero: "That's right."
Dark Lord: "So I made a truce, and checked your levels to find you were over 150."
Dark Lord: "I'm still only at level 90!"
Hero: "I'll be at 200 soon."
Dark Lord: "Cowards..."

#OP
Dark Lord: "You've gained much experience from your time in here, haven't you?"
Hero: "Pretty much."
Dark Lord: "Cowardly! Just unfair!"
Witch: "Can't you just train too, Dark Lord?"
Dark Lord: "I've no means to!"
Dark Lord: "All other humans are too weak, as are my underlings..."
Dark Lord: "And you're so strong, I'd die if I fought you!"
Hero: "Heh, you've got your wife."
Dark Lord: "She's stronger than me."
Hero: "Wh..."
Witch: (Can't level up without defeating her, huh...)
Dark Queen: "Did you say something you maybe shouldn't have, dear?"
Dark Lord: "I-It was nothing, sweetie!"
Witch: (I bet she's not really that strong, he just likes her butt...)

#OP
Hero: "Right, so we got alerted."
Dark Lord: "What do you mean?"
Hero: "I got a text as soon as you revived."
Dark Queen: "My!"
Witch: "Usually the sorcerers just check the station every once in a while to see if you've revived..."
Witch: "But now they've got a machine to sense it."
Hero: "They can tell the moment you revive now, apparently."
Dark Lord: "Is that so..."
Dark Lord: "I thought it was strange how quickly you arrived."
Dark Queen: "That really cuts down on the time he can spend with his family, doesn't it..."
Hero: "..."

#OP
Dark Lord: "Well, I suppose it's about that time, isn't it?"
Hero: "Already, huh..."
Witch: "That was fast..."
\ Gyahaha! /
Dark Lord: "Hm, I hear the Dark Prince laughing."
Dark Queen: "Indeed."
Hero: "Maybe it's a good thing we brought the kid."
Dark Lord: "Perhaps it'll help make for a more natural goodbye."
Dark Queen: "He cries every time... It's not easy..."
Hero: "..."
Witch: "..."
Hero: "...Dark Queen, can you get the sword and armor?"

#OP
Dark Queen: "Here. Your sword."
Dark Queen: "I had work done on it, so it should be plenty sharp."
Hero: "..." *unsheathe*
Dark Lord: "Now, do it..."
Hero: "If I'm gonna take your life, I want to at least fight like we used to."
Dark Lord: "Of course I know that. But our levels just don't allow it."
Witch: "Should I do it?"
Hero: "...No, it's fine."
Dark Lord: "Sorry for the trouble..."
Hero: "When will we meet again?"
Dark Lord: "I tell you every time, even I don't know that."
Dark Lord: "...I don't mean to burden you, but look after my family."
Dark Lord: "I have to thank you for facing me as a hero even after I've fallen so."
Dark Lord: "...And for keeping your promise to me."
Hero: "See you, Dark Lord."

*slash*

#OP
When he realized he could no longer serve as an opponent, the dark lord made a request of the hero.
"I will obediently allow myself to be slain, so protect my family in exchange."
It was the first time the proud Dark Lord lowered his head to a human, uttering his own desires.
The hero's first instinct was that it was a trap, so he ignored the dark lord and slayed him.
With frantic persuasion from Witch, the Dark Queen and Dark Prince were not killed.
Each time the dark lord revived, he made the same request.
And the Dark Queen and Dark Prince were spared every time.
The hero was a human before he was a hero.
So upon the sixteenth revival, the two formed a contract between them.
There was no benefit for the hero. Yet it was a contract made in blood.
The very next day, the hero restricted general entry into the Lost Woods.

#OP
Dark Queen: "It's done."
Hero: "...What am I supposed to say?"
Dark Queen: "It's fine."
Hero: "I'm taking your family from you again and again."
Dark Queen: "I said, it's fine."
Hero: "I'm just a villain, pretending to be a hero, to be a friend..."
Dark Queen: "I understand. Calm down."
Hero: "..."

#OP
Hero: "As usual, I've brought food with the money from the kingdom."
Dark Queen: "Thank you."
Hero: "This is really all I can do..."
Witch: "Hero..."
Dark Queen: "Keep your chin up. You're doing the right thing."
Hero: "Are you fine with this? Having your husband killed in front of you over and over..."
Dark Queen: "I suppose not."
Hero: "..."
Dark Queen: "But it's all that can be done. Just my husband being alive causes trouble."
Dark Queen: "And when I see your hands shaking... I can't say anything."
Dark Queen: "There's really no other way."
Hero: "But we don't know when he'll stop being revived."
Dark Queen: "Oh, I'm sure he won't abandon us so easily."
Dark Queen: "He'll be back very soon."

#OP
Dark Queen: "And really, it's funny how he comes back in a different way each time."
Dark Queen: "Once he hid inside a big cardboard box in the hallway."
Dark Queen: "One day he showed up drinking coffee in the living room like nothing had happened."
Dark Queen: "Oh, and there's also the time he hid in a locker, but locked himself in..."
Hero: "..."
Dark Queen: "I'm sorry."
Dark Queen: "But really, we're perfectly fine."
Dark Queen: "After all, I'm sure one day the prince will grow up to squash all of humanity like bugs."
Witch: (Not funny...)
Dark Queen: "My, tough crowd... It was just a little "dark" humor."
Hero: "..."
Dark Queen: "...Sorry."

#OP
Hero: "Here's the sword back."
Dark Queen: "...Thank you. I know you try your best not to torment my husband."
Hero: "Er... well..."
*dadadada-da-da-daaah!*
Witch: "Oh, you leveled up!"
Hero: "Finally hit level 200."
Hero: "Just beating you once is enough to level me, huh?"
Hero: "You really are pretty strong, Dark Lord..."

#OP
Hero: "Well, I'll have to be leaving now."
Dark Queen: "Yes. What about the child?"
Witch: "Tell him we'll be waiting in front of the gate."
Dark Queen: "Indeed. I'll do just that."
Dark Queen: "Thank you very much!"
Hero: "..."
Witch: "..."
Dark Queen: "We'll meet again when he revives next."
Dark Queen: "I really wish you would come to visit more often..."
Hero: "Those two things kinda don't mesh, do they?"
Dark Queen: "...I guess so."

#OP
Hero: "Can I ask one last thing?"
Dark Queen: "Yes."
Hero: "Do you hate us?"
Dark Queen: "Of course."
Dark Queen: "I'd love nothing more than to rip off your limbs and use them as fertilizer."
Hero: "..."
Dark Queen: "But we respect you, and we're grateful to you."
Hero: "..."

#OP
Dark Prince: "You're a good draw-er!"
Kid: "I'm always drawing since I don't have many friends..."
Dark Prince: "I don't have any too! We're friends from now on!"
Kid: "...Yeah!"
Dark Queen: "Isn't it time to go, boy?"
Kid: "Oh, it's already five!"
Dark Prince: "You should come back aga... Where's papa?"
Dark Queen: "Didn't he tell you?"
Dark Queen: "Papa went on a trip with Mr. Hero."
Dark Prince: "I didn't get to say bye-bye..."
Dark Queen: "He'll be back soon."
Dark Prince: "When's he coming back?"
Dark Queen: "...I don't know."

#OP
Dark Prince: "Hmph..."
Dark Queen: "You're not going to cry, are you?"
Dark Prince: "No way I'm going to cry in front of my friend! 'Cause I'm the proud son of the Dark Lord!"
Kid: "..."
Dark Prince: "Just go away! NOW!"
Dark Queen: "Prince, please!"
Dark Prince: "Just go away! But you better come back and play!" *storm off*
Dark Queen: "Sorry... Oh, that child..."
Kid: "No, it's okay."
Kid: "Can I come over again?"
Dark Queen: "Yes, anytime." *smile*

#OP
Kid: "..."
Hero: "Hey, there you are. Let's go."
Kid: "You beat the dark lord?"
Hero: "Yep. So we're goin'."
Kid: "Is the dark lord a bad guy?"
Kid: "I had a lot of fun with the prince..."
Kid: "And the Dark Queen seems really nice."
Hero: "...Well."
Hero: "He did want to destroy humanity once..."
Hero: "So you can't deny that, at least."
Kid: "...You sure are strong, Hero."
Hero: "Level 200 strong, yep."
Kid: "Huh... Is that right..."

#OP
Hero: "Sheesh, knew we shouldn't have brought him."
Witch: "Kid just had too much fun and tuckered himself out."
Kid: "Zzz..."
Hero: "Why do I gotta piggy-back this guy?"
Witch: "'Cause I'm the one in high heels whose feet are killing her."
Hero: "Like I care!"

#OP
Hero: "You know, it's ironic..."
Hero: "I slay Dark Lord for cash, and that cash lets his family eat."
Hero: "He dies for his family, and humanity pays so his family can live."
Hero: "So who am I fighting for, here?"
Hero: "It's a miracle word hasn't really gotten out about the situation..."
Hero: "But if it does, who the hell should I side with?"
Witch: "...Isn't that why they have that barrier up?"
Hero: "Technology's gonna catch up to it sooner or later."
Hero: "After all, they can detect when he's revived now."
Witch: "Well, whatever happens, I'll stick with you then."
Hero: "Witch..."
Witch: "And don't you forget about my magic, now."
Witch: "I could try putting up a barrier that'll block them from sensing jack."
Hero: "The sorcerers'll notice if it gets too strong..."
Witch: "I'll be careful about that, don't you worry."

#OP
Hero: "I'm grateful, y'know..."
Hero: "Honestly, I should be the only one bothered with all this."
Hero: "Hero? Don't make me laugh, I'm just a regular dude."
Hero: "Guess everybody else either realized that, or couldn't handle the responsibility."
Hero: "But I'd be wrong to blame them, 'cause I'm the one who made the contract."
Hero: "Still, it's just... it's rough. Anybody'd want to bitch about it."
Hero: "...And you're all I've got."
Witch: "That's fine by me. I just do what I want."
Hero: "...Thanks a bunch."
Witch: "No prob."
Hero: "Now look away, I'm gonna cry a little."
Witch: "Understood, o great hero of mine."
Witch: "Want me to sing a song?"
Hero: "Thanks, but no thanks."

#OP
Kid: "Mmm... where are we?"
Hero: "At your house, kid. You're out like a light, huh?"
Kid: "..."
Hero: "Well, see ya."
Kid: "Thanks for today!"
Hero: "It's nothin'."
Kid: "I really... really respect you, Mr. Hero!"
Hero: "Uh... huh?!"
Hero: "Pssh, he's gone..."
Hero: "I'm no hero, kid..."
Hero: "..."
Hero: (But if I kick the bucket, you'd better protect them in my place...)
Hero: (I'm countin' on you, future hero...)

#OP
*brrrrring* *click*
King: "Hero?"
Hero: "Beat the dark lord, your highness."
King: "Well done! I'll send your reward!"
*click* *beep*
Hero: "...No more parades for me these days."
Hero: "Just a matter of time 'til he even passes this part off to an assistant, I bet..."

#OP
Hero: "I'm home!"
Mom: "Welcome back. So your dark lord hunting went well."
Hero: "Huh? You knew?"
Mom: "Saw it on the news. Only lasted about ten seconds, though."
Hero: "Huh..."
Mom: "People may forget how important their heroes are..."
Mom: "But I'll have you know I'm VERY proud of you."
Hero: "..."
Hero: "Heh! P-Piece of cake, mom!"
Hero: "Easy as... pie..."

#OP
Hero: (Everyone's so used to the dark lord dying now...)
Hero: (They used to be ruled by terror, desperate for peace...)
Hero: (But now it's just like part of daily routine that he's killed.)
Hero: (Is it because we're too strong? Or are people just that cold-hearted?)
Hero: (They don't know anything, not even their king...)
Hero: (No one knows just how loving that guy really is...)
Hero: (But even if you know, then what? You can't get back the countless people he killed...)
Hero: (Isn't humanity the same way, though?)
Hero: (They kill boatloads of monsters saying that they need to protect themselves.)
Hero: (So the strong rule in the end... Is that how it's gotta be?)
Hero: (If I were king, maybe I could make a difference...)
Hero: (...Forget it. I'm going to bed.)

#OP
The next morning.
Hero: "...Yaaawn... so sleepy..."
Hero: "Yeah, I think I'm goin' back to sleep..."
*bzzz*
Hero: "Huh? Lemme guess, Witch asking me out again?"
Hero: "'Cause I am so not in the mood today..." *fwip*


"Subject: Dark Lord has revived"


Hero: "THINK THAT'S A LITTLE SOON?!"

FIN


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