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Mystery Man: "I'll tell you my true identity... Ku ku ku..."

A 2ch story of many mysteries... Fwa, ha, ha...

——

#OP
Mystery Woman: "Ah, but don't you want to know MY identity first...?"
Mystery Man: "YOUR identity? ...Hmph, I already have a very clear idea of that..."
Mystery Woman: "Hoo hoo... I wonder if you'll be saying that once you know who I really am..."
Mystery Man: "I could say the same to you... Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Woman: "Oho. Are you sure you're not just bluffing?"

#OP
Mystery Man: "Me, bluffing? Ku ku ku... That's ridiculous."
Mystery Woman: "Hoo... How precious."
Mystery Man: "I believe you're quite mistaken about me, madam..."
Mystery Woman: "Mistaken? How do you mean?"
Mystery Man: "Let me give you a hint..." *rummage*
Mystery Woman: "My, what might you have in store... Hoo hoo..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "Here it is..."
Mystery Woman: "My... What might this book be...?"
Mystery Man: "Take a look at the last page... Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Woman: "The last page?"
Mystery Man: "Indeed..."
Mystery Woman: "Oh my..."
Mystery Man: "Kukuku... Hahaha... AHAHAHAHAHA!"

#OP
Mystery Woman: "This photograph..."
Mystery Man: "Indeed. This is your book, and that photograph..."
Mystery Woman: "A photograph from when... my grandfather was young..."
Mystery Man: "Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Woman: "Or so you seem to think..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "Oh? You look pale all of a sudden... Hoo hoo..."

#2ch
What is with these people...

#OP
Mystery Woman: "This dog in the photo..."
Mystery Man: "What happened to it, I wonder... Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Woman: "Here, boy."
Mystery Dog: "Woof! Woof!"
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "Do you understand now...?"
Mystery Man: "Ku ku ku..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "Just one thing..."
Mystery Woman: "Oh? And what would that be?"
Mystery Man: "Do you intend to use that dog to claim that photograph is a fake?"
Mystery Woman: "Oh? Whatever could you mean?"
Mystery Man: "Hm, how odd. Your voice is trembling... Yet it's not cold out at all, is it?"
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Man: "Ku-ku-ku..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "Come in..."
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Hel-lo there!"
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Man: "You see now? He survived!!"
Mystery Woman: "Hoo hoo... Ahaha, ahaha! HAHA! HAHAHA!"
Mystery Man: "Have you snapped under the pressure?"

#OP
Mystery Woman: "Do you think I didn't know he was alive...?"
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "Hmm, where did all your enthusiasm go...?"
Chinese Man: "Did I do some-thing wrong...?"
Mystery Woman: "You've done nothing wrong..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "This man's just a fool... Hoo hoo."
Mystery Man: "..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "C-Curses!!!"
Mystery Woman: "Hoo hoo..."
Mystery Man: "I'm trapped!!"
Mystery Woman: "Ahahahaha!"
Mystery Man: "...Or at least that's what you believe, isn't it?"
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Man: "I'm fed up with your bluffs... Ku ku ku."

#2ch
I'm mysteriously interested.

#OP
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Man: "You think I can't see a lie for what it is?"
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Man: "If I were so foolish, it'd be a happy birthday for you, indeed..."
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Man: "Oh, how joyous it would be! Aaahahahahahaha!"
Mystery Woman: "..."
Mystery Man: "Aha, my stomach hurts from laughing... Ku ku ku... Ow, that hurts..."
Mystery Woman: "Hoo hoo... It seems to be working..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "Working? What could you mean...?"
Mystery Woman: "Now I have a question for you. Just what is that pain in your stomach...? Hoo hoo..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "It would appear you can't even imagine..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "After all, if you were smart enough to figure it out..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "You wouldn't even be here at all. Hoo hoo..."

#2ch
Are they gonna get around to revealing their identities?!

#OP
Mystery Man: "What are you trying to say?"
Mystery Woman: "Instead of me..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "I shall teach this song to you!!"
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "Switch o -"
*whoosh*
Mystery Chinese Man: "That won't be necessary... Stop now."

#OP
Mystery Man/Woman: "..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "You two look like deer in headlights..."
Mystery Man/Woman: "..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Well, it's understandable..."
Mystery Man/Woman: "..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Well, it's understandable... Kikiki, kikiki..."

#OP
Mystery Woman: "...So you haven't gotten out of your habit of saying things twice, hm..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Habit...? What do you mean?"
Mystery Man: "Ah, can this be over already...?"
Mystery Chinese Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "I'm tired of this farce..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "..."
Mystery Man: "Now then..." *undress!*

#OP
Mystery Woman: "Hoo hoo..." *undress!*
Mystery Man: "Hm-hm..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Why did the two of you strip down to your underwear?"
Mystery Man: "You know the answer to that, don't you?"
Mystery Woman: "He's just playing dumb..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Hmm..."

#OP
Mystery Woman: "Now, you do the same..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Why do I have to...?"
Mystery Man: "You can, can't you? That is, if you really are..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "..."
Mystery Man: "Human after all...!"
Mystery Woman: "Hoo hoo..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "..."

#OP
Mystery Chinese Man: "...Understood" *undress!*
Mystery Man: "Oho..."
Mystery Woman: "I see..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Well, I did it, so...?"

Mystery Man/Woman/Chinese Man: "..."

Mystery Dog: "Woof!"

Mystery Man: "Alright! You two! Now!!"
Mystery Woman/Chinese Man: "!!"

#OP
Mystery Woman: "Hah!"
Mystery Chinese Man: "Whooh!"
Mystery Man: "Alright! We made it in time!"
Mystery Dog: "Woof woof!"
Mystery Man: "Good work! It's all thanks to you."
Mystery Dog: "Bark..."
Mystery Man: "Now, show yourself! You're watching, aren't you?"

Camera: *zooooom*

Mystery Man: "From that hidden camera...!"

#OP
*clap, clap, clap*
Mystery Old Man: "How admirable."
Mystery Man: "So you finally appear... Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Old Man: "Splendid work."
Mystery Man: "How cocky you are..."
Mystery Old Man: "I'd give you a full 100 points."
Mystery Man: "...And to think you were so close, hm? ...Ku ku ku..."

#OP
Mystery Old Man: "...So you've beaten me..."
Mystery Man: "All the bombs in the mansion have been disarmed...!"
Mystery Old Man: "........................."
Mystery Man: "How about that, you senile old coot?!"
Mystery Old Man: "Ho ho ho..."
Mystery Man: "What's so funny?"
Mystery Old Man: "I think you're the senile one..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Old Man: "Just take a good look at those two..."

Mystery Woman Wax Model: "....."
Mystery Chinese Man Wax Model: "....."

Mystery Old Man: "Ho ho ho ho..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Old Man: "Ho ho ho ho..."
Mystery Man: "..."

#OP
Mystery Old Man: "Now might you understand who I really am...?"
Mystery Man: "...Ku ku ku... Just a moment."
Mystery Old Man: "What is it?"
Mystery Man: "...It seems you still don't know who I am myself..."
Mystery Old Man: "I thought you might say that, but in truth..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Old Man: "Ho ho ho ho..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "Even if you know my true identity..."
Mystery Old Man: "Ho ho ho ho..."
Mystery Man: "I wonder if you'll be looking so high and mighty when this is over?"
Mystery Old Man: "How amusing. Why not tell us who you are yourself...!"
Mystery Man: "Very well... I'll tell you who I really am...!"
Mystery Old Man: "..."
Mystery Man: "I am none other than...!"

#OP
*rumble rumble*

#OP
Mystery Man: "Is the mansion shaking...?"
Mystery Old Man: "Aha, so it's time already..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Old Man: "And to think you really believe this is a mansion..."
Mystery Man: "...This... isn't a mansion?!"
Mystery Old Man: "I've spent enough time with the likes of you...!"
Mystery Man: "Where do you think you're going?!"
Mystery Old Man: "Ho ho ho ho..."
Helicoper: *whirrrrr*

#OP
*SHATTER!*
Mystery Man: "A helicopter flew in through the window?!?"
Mystery Old Man: "Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho..."
Mystery Man: "W-Waaait!"
Mystery Old Man: "So long!"
Helicopter: *whirrrrr*

Mystery Man: "..............."

#OP
Helicopter: *whirrrrr...*

Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Man: "Everything's going according to plan..."
Mystery Man: "And yet that makes me worry..."
*brrrrring*
Mystery Man: "Ah, a phone call..."
Mystery Man: "Hello..."
Mystery Voice: "Hello there..."

#OP
Mystery Voice: "Is your job complete?"
Mystery Man: "Yes, the plan's going perfectly..."
Mystery Voice: "I see. Now I can finally be free as well... Thank you."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Voice: "Hm-hm..."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Voice: "Have you realized your own mistake yet?"

#OP
Mystery Man: "Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Voice: "..."
Mystery Man: "You think I would take the job so ignorant of what was going on...?"
Mystery Voice: "..."
Mystery Man: "No, I knew. I knew everything. Bye-bye.

*click*

Mystery Man: "I think it's time you two stop pretending now..."

Mystery Chinese Man Wax Model: "..."
Mystery Woman Wax Model: "..."

#OP
Mystery Woman: "H-How did you know...?!"
Mystery Chinese Man: "D-Damn you!!"
Mystery Man: "...Won't you give up already?"
Mystery Woman: "What are you talking about?!"
Mystery Chinese Man: "Yeah! What she said!"
Mystery Man: "Stop acting like you're surprised!!"
Mystery Woman/Chinese Man: "..."

#OP
Mystery Woman: "...It seems you finally understand."
Mystery Chinese Man: "...A little late, though."
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Woman: "But unfortunately..."
Mystery Chinese Man: "Time's already up."
Mystery Man: "Then get out of my sight!"
Mystery Woman: *fwoo*
Mystery Chinese Man: *fwoo*

#OP
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Man: "Dammit..."
Mystery Man: "DAMMIIIIIIIIIIT!!!"
Mystery Man: "I was almost THERE!!!"
Mystery Man: "Ah... ah..."
*thump*
Mystery Man: "..."

#2ch
It's a mystery!
Everything is so mysterious!!

#OP
Mystery Man: ".........."
Mystery Man: ".........."
Camera: *click*
Mystery Man: "Whew..."
Mystery Man: "All recorded."
Mystery Man: "If I leave this video behind, it'll look like I died knowing everything..."
Mystery Man: "Is it that late already...?"
Mystery Man: "Time for dinner..."

#OP
— Restaurant —

Mystery Waitress: "Welcome!"
Mystery Man: "Chow time!"
Mystery Waitress: "Have you decided what to order?"
Mystery Man: "My favorite! The children's menu lunch!!"
Mystery Waitress: "Understood, sir."

*footsteps*

Mystery Man: "I wonder about that password sometimes..."

#OP
*footsteps*
Mystery Manager: "Apologies for the wait."
*thunk*
Mystery Man: "I'm not here to get a gun today..."
Mystery Manager: "Then, what?"
Mystery Man: "It's time to tell you my true identity, like you've always wanted to know..."
Mystery Manager: "....."
Mystery Man: "What's wrong? You should be glad, yes?"

#2ch
This makes me laugh mysteriously...

#OP
Mystery Manager: "..."
Mystery Man: "Your face says you already know..."
Mystery Manager: "..."
Mystery Man: "Are you shaking because I can see through everything?"
Mystery Manager: "..."
Mystery Man: "Come, smile like you always do!"
Mystery Manager: "DIE!!"
*bang!!*

#OP
Mystery Manager: "Oogh!"
*thump*
Mystery Waitress: "When... when did you notice?"
Mystery Man: "When I got that phone call..."
Mystery Waitress: "If I hadn't stepped in... was he going to kill you?!"
Mystery Man: "...I have no reason to tell you that..."
Mystery Waitress: "....."

#OP
Mystery Waitress: "..."
Mystery Man: "Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Waitress: "Something funny?"
Mystery Man: "You made one big mistake."
Mystery Waitress: "What do you mean?"
*whoosh*
Mystery Manager: "He means this!"
Mystery Man: "Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Waitress: "..."

#2ch
Everything... coming to a climax...!!!

#OP
Mystery Waitress: "I'm trapped!"
Mystery Man: "Yes... So it seems..."
Mystery Manager: "You betrayed me first...!"
Mystery Waitress: "What are you two... going to do to me?!"
Mystery Manager: "Ku ku ku... That's quite clear, isn't it..."
Mystery Waitress: "...Wait! Tell me one thing first!"
Mystery Man: "Ku ku ku... What?"

#OP
Mystery Waitress: "Tell me the password to the safe..."
Mystery Man: "Such a bizarre request... But go on, tell her..."
Mystery Manager: "Ah, understood. The password is 0921..."
Mystery Waitress: "As I thought... My mother's... birthday..."
Mystery Manager: "Now, that's enough. Die!"
*bang!!*

#OP
Mystery Manager: "Oogh!"
*thump*
Mystery Man: "Whew..."
Mystery Waitress: "Is this... really going to be all right?"
Mystery Man: "Yes. Not to worry."
Mystery Waitress: "...I see."
Mystery Man: "Ah, finishing a job makes me feel sleepy..."
Mystery Waitress: "I've already prepared the bedroom."
Mystery Man: "Yes, I see..."

#OP
— Bedroom —

Mystery Man: "So do you want to know my true identity?"
Mystery Waitress: "Mmm, aaah! What are you talking about?!"
Mystery Man: "You still don't know who I really am!"
Mystery Waitress: "Ah! Wh-What's that?!"
Mystery Man: "Ku ku ku..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "Might these missionary-position motions make you remember...?"
Mystery Waitress: "Aaah! Th-This...?!"
Mystery Man: "...It seems you do... Ku ku ku..."
Mystery Waitress: "..."
Mystery Man: "What's wrong? Cramping up out of surprise?"
Mystery Waitress: "...Hoo hoo... Perhaps you've mixed me up with someone else?"

#OP
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Waitress: "It's been some time since I've seen you so pale..."
Mystery Man: "What the..."
Mystery Waitress: "I wonder if you might remember if I ride you like this?"
Mystery Man: "C-Could it be...?!"
Mystery Waitress: "Heehee... Yes, someone you know very well..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!"
Mystery Waitress: "Ahahahahahaha!!!"
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Waitress: "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Mystery Man: "Goodbye...!"
Mystery Waitress: "Huh?!"
*bang!!*

#OP
Mystery Woman: "So it's all over..."
Mystery Man: "Yes..."
Mystery Woman: "Did you attend the funeral service?"
Mystery Man: "Yes..."
Mystery Woman: "I have a proposition..."
Mystery Man: "What?"
Mystery Woman: "We teamed up on the promise of not knowing each other's identities, but now that it's over, shall we come clean?"
Mystery Man: "...Very well..."

#OP
Mystery Man: "Then again, maybe another time."
Mystery Woman: "Huh?"
Mystery Man: "The truth is, I already know who you are."
Mystery Woman: "Wha..."
Mystery Man: "See you!"
*dashdashdash*

#OP
Mystery Man: "Whew..."
Mystery Man: "I think I'll be all right now that I'm this far..."
Mystery Man: "Indeed, I knew who she was from the start!"
Mystery Man: "..."
Mystery Man: "...Her true identity is..."




#2ch
What WAS this...?

#2ch
Mysterious from beginning to end...


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