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Bored (from Kenshi Yonezu's diary)

[This was posted as all one paragraph - scroll down to read a version that's actually broken up.]

I'm writing lyrics. Lyrics. Work like this, where the "right answer" is hard to grasp, isn't the kind of work where you can just keep your hands moving, so when I can't think of anything, all my bodily functions come to a halt. It's important to go off and play at times like that, but it's sad how people will see that and think "He's neglecting his work." But I guess those misunderstandings will happen, given that they both look the same. Even I must, as I play, constantly reflect on whether my playing is productive or not, which ends up with me thinking too much and not being able to play very well. "Not thinking about anything" is a rather important ability for continued healthy creation, I think. If you don't have some level of optimism, your mind and body can't take it. And thus I'm currently writing these sentences almost automatically. Kachunk, kachunk. Is everyone doing well? The word "automatic" just made me picture a cyberpunk-esque robot clacking away at a keyboard, but with the advances in AI technology these days, maybe the idea of robots as inorganic and emotionless is growing outdated. I mean, not like I really know much about that. I hope the truth of "emotions" can be explained soon. Humans still have a domain that can't be expressed in words, and I suppose that confusing space is protected as the domain of the arts, but what if some AI or machine pried that open? I imagine a future where the music we currently struggle to make can be instantly synthesized to suit your mood at that day and time with the press of a button. What would I think seeing that? Maybe "That isn't music!"? Or "I see, so that's how it's become" - seeing it favorably, or being able to accept it as natural? It seems it's the trend with most people to treat the technology from their adolescence as natural, and any technology past that as straying from the providence of nature. The sound of a record is warm, the sound of an MP3 is whatever (not to say that's good or bad). With no way of giving absolute scores, the majority of that domain of the arts must be decided as "like it" or "don't like it," so it's a common mistake to think that "quality" doesn't even exist. How well-executed is the base concept? Without a skilled eye for criticism, you'll mistake what the original concept even was. A blue painting will get judged as "This painting isn't red, so it's no good." To prevent this, you need a certain level of education, as well as the perspectives of both an artist and critic. But I never received a proper education, so there are many moments where I'm just dumbfounded. Long ago, when I was small, I witnessed my parents talking like "my son's totally hopeless, so...", and I remember getting indignant, like "well, you raised me!" Since then, I've come to find the culture of humility pretty vile, so I want to always stick out my chest and say the music I make is beautiful. Of course, I have no intention of putting out anything that's not beautiful. What was I talking about again? This blog post might be pretty hard to read.

——

I'm writing lyrics. Lyrics. Work like this, where the "right answer" is hard to grasp, isn't the kind of work where you can just keep your hands moving, so when I can't think of anything, all my bodily functions come to a halt.

It's important to go off and play at times like that, but it's sad how people will see that and think "He's neglecting his work." But I guess those misunderstandings will happen, given that they both look the same. Even I must, as I play, constantly reflect on whether my playing is productive or not, which ends up with me thinking too much and not being able to play very well. "Not thinking about anything" is a rather important ability for continued healthy creation, I think. If you don't have some level of optimism, your mind and body can't take it.

And thus I'm currently writing these sentences almost automatically. Kachunk, kachunk. Is everyone doing well? The word "automatic" just made me picture a cyberpunk-esque robot clacking away at a keyboard, but with the advances in AI technology these days, maybe the idea of robots as inorganic and emotionless is growing outdated. I mean, not like I really know much about that.

I hope the truth of "emotions" can be explained soon. Humans still have a domain that can't be expressed in words, and I suppose that confusing space is protected as the domain of the arts, but what if some AI or machine pried that open? I imagine a future where the music we currently struggle to make can be instantly synthesized to suit your mood at that day and time with the press of a button. What would I think seeing that? Maybe "That isn't music!"? Or "I see, so that's how it's become" - seeing it favorably, or being able to accept it as natural?

It seems it's the trend with most people to treat the technology from their adolescence as natural, and any technology past that as straying from the providence of nature. The sound of a record is warm, the sound of an MP3 is whatever (not to say that's good or bad). With no way of giving absolute scores, the majority of that domain of the arts must be decided as "like it" or "don't like it," so it's a common mistake to think that "quality" doesn't even exist.

How well-executed is the base concept? Without a skilled eye for criticism, you'll mistake what the original concept even was. A blue painting will get judged as "This painting isn't red, so it's no good." To prevent this, you need a certain level of education, as well as the perspectives of both an artist and critic. But I never received a proper education, so there are many moments where I'm just dumbfounded.

Long ago, when I was small, I witnessed my parents talking like "my son's totally hopeless, so...", and I remember getting indignant, like "well, you raised me!" Since then, I've come to find the culture of humility pretty vile, so I want to always stick out my chest and say the music I make is beautiful. Of course, I have no intention of putting out anything that's not beautiful. What was I talking about again? This blog post might be pretty hard to read.


Posted August 17th, 2017
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