Let's Play Golden Sun Dark Dawn: Chapter 35


And wouldn't you know it, the ladder is just out of reach of DAAAAA's ridiculously stubby arms. Hey, if it worked for Donkey Kong, it'll work for Golden Sun.

On the other hand, Donkey Kong had a more competent and compelling villain.


These extremely light glowing green cubes can be pushed inward to be blowned up into the are. Not sure what that's for, but why not. (Answer: DAAAAA has Obsessive Cubepushing Disorder. He thought it wouldn't affect his life so much if he avoided adventures, but now... oh, poor DAAAAA.)


How horrible are we talking here?


Apparently, only horrible enough to make DAAAAA shortly go "WHOA THERE GUST SORRY TO GET IN YOUR WAY" and resume his business. (Really, what's the point of spewing out gusts here if they can only ever push you back exactly zero tiles?)

We get up to the town of Passaj which Rief just runs through to get to some summit place.


Never have I been more dubious of you (and by extension Kraden), Rief, and I met you like ten minutes ago.

Rief dumps some terms on us about Craggle Peak and the Jenny* and the Knee Ox but who cares we just need some machine to make us a path between here and that mountain. However this Alchemy Forge thing operates on magnets or something and no one has any idea how to work it.

* My joke name for an ancient people, not to be confused with my joke name for a character who we'll never see again.


Kraden is clever for only one thing - keeping himself away from these kids lest they learn how wrong this belief is. Well okay they're pretty stupid for just taking it from AAAAD as fact anyway.

They go on and on about how boy they really could use that soarwing right about now but then again that's whole the reason we're even here, and who was that not-very-masked man and how could Kraden possibly know him.

Anyway none of that is remotely important let's go fix a forge or something.


Over in the weapons/armor shop, we have this. Seriously? Nobody can figure this one out? It's as easy as taking candy from a baby eye-shaped jewels from a treasure chest and putting them in minotaur-head eye sockets.

We go over to the main forge and Tyrell shoots a fireball at a thing and OH MAN I WOULD NOT HAVE GUESSED THOSE LINES ON THE FLOOR THAT RUN THROUGH THE WHOLE TOWN WOULD LIGHT UP OR ANYTHING


I don't think it's much of a secret that, in something called the Alchemy Forge, something with a fire symbol on it reacts to Fireball psynergy.


No. We're absolutely, utterly doomed. My strength cannot possibly move these boulders green blocks with lines on them, and even if it could, I was traumatized by Pokemon sliding ice puzzles long ago.


Oh. Well, not if it's THAT easy.


This guy's right leg is FREAKING OUT over this.


The guy slides (literally) over to each of our party members to yell at them and each member just shakes their head in response. (Also, yeah, these are the kinds of terms they're dumping on us.)

Boggo hears the usual explanation of everything ever from us (and knows Kraden, even calling him an "interesting old fellow" - BLATANT lie) and turns out to be not angry with us at all. Not sure what that was all about.


Boggo, I've done the Kafei and Anju sidequest quite enough times already.


Rief, having a pretty dumb name himself, is listing off these dumb terms like a pro.


Which he didn't play at all, but apparently he has some kind of power to alter people's memories.


Eyes of Sol Mask is secret.


KNOCK IT OFF, KARIS


And you, too. Get to the point already, and stop giving me those shifty eyes.

Here's what we learn from the huge text dump: we need Kafei's wedding mask to make the town prosper and get to where we want to go, the mask is in a dungeon called the Ouroboros under some enemy country's territory... and now we're relocating the conversation for further text dump. Wonderful.

Over at his house or something, Boggo gives his "elders" the low down on the forge which we've already heard.


As we can already see, this Baggy is a man of emotion.


And these "elders" are clones of Snake or something because everything they say is either a repeat of something Boggo said or something we learned from the previous text dump.


Treasure is found in labyrinths. MY BUSINESS.

Boggy tells us to meet a guy named Amiti to help us through the labyrinth and gives us a flute that will let us take an alternate entrance to the castle involving a tree. Sure.


The life of everyone on this soarwing depends upon just one thing: finding someone down there who can not only navigate this mythical serpent dungeon, but who didn't have fish for dinner.


Hum de dum, guess we're at war.


We go to the palace and it turns out Whoaaa was waiting for us, but when we walk into the throne room and he's totally oblivious to our presence, Karis and Rief run over to hide... and DAAAAA and Tyrell just stay there.


Then Rief walks over and gets them. Well that was awkward.


BUT NOT AS AWKWARD AS HER

(Her name is Chalis and her encyclopedia entry claims she BRIMS WITH BEAUTY. Well I mean that heart really completes the look.)

Whoaaa is all THE ADEPTS ARE LATE WHY AM I WAITING I DON'T LIKE WAITING MY ADEPTS.


NO.

Bemonocled Chinese Stereotype's advisor points out that they need us to get through the Ouroboros, obviously because they want the Sun Mask too and will end up manipulating us to use it for themselves but shhh.


I wasn't kidding about the monocle, by the way. Or the Chinese stereotype. Foreigners, am I right?


Chalis notices us behind the pillar (no WAY, she must have Reveal too) and rather than, I dunno, call us out (because it's not like our party WOULDN'T fall for that), calls her "personal guards" to drop down and make us back away one space closer to the center aisle.

Of course, the real reason she has to do this is because she has to reveal that she's using the same Stealthy Squad as Blados SOMEHOW, 'cause otherwise we'd never make a connection between the two.


Oh, and then they PUSH us into position.


...What do you mean, "with a name like that"? EVERYBODY'S got stupid names in this game, Tyrell.

Whoaaa is all YES THESE ADEPTS WILL DO OUR BIDDING.


Why did we even come in here, again...?


Seriously, Tyrell, they've got things in PRINT. ...Or, uh, very nice handwriting, at least.


Teehee! Too late for that now, Tyrell! \(^o^)/

Despite DAAAAA's williness to comply, the rest of the party refuses, despite the fact that if they had simply agreed they probably could've found a way to make off with the Sun Mask themselves. Whoaaa doesn't take kindly to our defiance, so he sends in executioners that -



Or, uh, that.


So AAAAD, Gary, Nowell, and Kraden walk into a throne room...

Chalis explains to the others how she dropped us into Ouroboros on purpose and expects us to survive the fall since we're Adepts and come crawling back with the mask, but of course...


While Karis is basically the smartest member of our party...


She's still not bright.


Well, I'm all set to be manipulated once again, aren't you?

Chapter 36